Our Song - Critique?

I like the melody, words, arrangement [lots of texture, dynamics, etc]. Voices are great.

That has a LOT going for it.

The drums are noticably faux. The snare isn't leveled up to counter the BD, I think.
The bass sound is good. The tinkling toy piano is odd. Distracting. I'd ditch it..or sub a real piano sound...or a piano. More guts, mids, and blend w/ the acoustic [which sounds really swell, I think] It'll give some weight and impact to the progression...which is nice.

The mix seems to have the voices a tad too up front...and extremely, uncomfortably glassy....bordering on harsh.

Theres a figure between sections of the chorus that smacks of 60's Partridge Family pop. "da-dadada-dah". I'd find another , hipper wiay to accent that one.....maybe play it on another instrument. It sounds light and namby-pamby. The theme is kinda serious and earnest. The figure and the toy piano are kinda playful and not in with the character of the tune.

It's a great demo, though. The quality of the writing and arranging get through.

A winner of a tune. An experienced producer and engineer would have it zingin'!

The gal has a nice Levigne quality to her delivery, and the guy sounds real good...

I like it!
 
I think Jeff nailed a bunch of good points above. One additional thing that I'd note is that the drum seems to lose the groove of the tune in a couple of spots, particularly in the section before and during the second verse. If you're interested, I'd be into the idea of laying down a real drum track for the song. PM me if you are interested...I could probably get you a set of tracks in about a week and you wouldn't have to use it if you didn't like it.

Great song!

Dave DeWhitt
SoundClick artist: Dave DeWhitt - page with MP3 music downloads
 
Sorry for the double post. Need to be more patient with the submit button :)
 
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i like the voice. its a little bit too upfront, could be integrated a bit more. try to not use such a small room on the vox & i would open the chorus a bit more (spread the voices in panning). catchy song. keep it up!
 
Great song! The drums are kinda bass-y and don't fit for me. The rest is really good. Vocals are outstanding!
 
Thanks guys, I am implementing the changes right now. Thank you for the very awesome advice.
This is one of the songs I started 5 months ago and finished last week, I definitely changed my style in those five months so the track is a little inconsistent and the drums are pretty stand-outish in a negative way.
 
I think you got some good ideas above, so I will be listening for this one to turn out better. I thought it was really good so it should be awesome if these ideas are used. I think the vox are definitely a little loud maybe a touch.

Keep rockin' I liked it.
 
quite liked this, your girlfriend has a good voice - for me, i'd keep your vocals seperate, or pull yours down in the mix when they both play together? - they just didnt have right harmonies together 4 me
 
Sounds like you & girlfriend are in a good place right now. Good vibes in the vocal; really nice, something you don't hear often. That's a bit hippie for a mix critique, but that's what I heard most.

I would take the offer for a real drum track. I little groove could be what ices this cake. :)

Thanks. :cool:
 
I will be sure to get some real drums in there, I have been at college for the past few months and my drums are at home :/ , so i just made the best of it.
 
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