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Thread: Original song: Mary Anne

  1. #1
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    Original song: Mary Anne (Folk / country, I guess)

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    Been working away on a bunch of originals lately. Here is one of them. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. There is harmonica, so beware!

    http://www.paulartson.com/downloads/..._mary_anne.mp3
    Last edited by HeyHeyMyMy; 02-19-2008 at 09:18.
    Was a high wall there that tried to stop me
    Sign was painted, said, "Private Property"
    But on the back side it didn't say nothing
    This land was made for you and me
    - WG

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    Interesting sound, sounds very "authentic".

    The intro is too long. It takes 30 seconds for the vocal to come in, and really nothing is happening in those 30 seconds. Cut it to 5.

    Its a nice lil story/ballad.

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    An unusually good song and performance. Artistic and well recorded.

    The vocal verb's tail sounds too strong and artificial on the last notes of some of the phrases, otherwise the verb's good. The low pitched vocal bits on "sweet Mary Ann" (1:02 and later) are a little harsh sounding - I think it would sound better if you used some volume automation to lower the level a bit at those places, or maybe do some spot EQ. Also, I'd mellow out the harmonica a bit. It's a little strident.

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    Not my style but sounds fine to me. Very Dylan-ish.

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    Thanks for the comments and suggestions, folks. I'll see what I can do about fixing up some of the parts recommended.
    Was a high wall there that tried to stop me
    Sign was painted, said, "Private Property"
    But on the back side it didn't say nothing
    This land was made for you and me
    - WG

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    I really like the in your face performance of this piece. I feel like I'm sitting six feet away from you in a coffee house or something. The harp is appropriate for the Guthrie/Dylan - esque approach that you pull off so well, but I think you knocked some of the wax out of my ears. I love a song that tells a story like this one, I write many of them myself. Thanks for sharing this, a style that never goes out of style IMO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xeries View Post
    I really like the in your face performance of this piece. I feel like I'm sitting six feet away from you in a coffee house or something. The harp is appropriate for the Guthrie/Dylan - esque approach that you pull off so well, but I think you knocked some of the wax out of my ears. I love a song that tells a story like this one, I write many of them myself. Thanks for sharing this, a style that never goes out of style IMO.
    Thanks, friend. Yeah, the harp still may be a little too harsh.
    Was a high wall there that tried to stop me
    Sign was painted, said, "Private Property"
    But on the back side it didn't say nothing
    This land was made for you and me
    - WG

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    Hey, really nice tune. I think it sounds good, has good vibe, and is a good story. I would only suggest that you might want to try it up a few steps. I think you're in a good range for your voice throughout most of the song, except for the end of the choruses: "it's not you, sweet Mary Anne." That's the only thing that jumped out at me, was what seemed to be your working to reach low enough for those last low notes. Maybe up a whole step or two is all. Of course, that's a capo/different fingers, and different harp, so maybe not all that easy... Again, really nice tune, and really well done.

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