Original Pop Rock Song - Children's Home

jonlint

Member
Re-recorded a original song of mine. Somethings on a softer vein.

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/childrens-home-20150418

Critique on the song and mix welcome.

JONATHAN LINTON – CHILDREN’S HOME
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

8,000 years before, here on this sandy shore
Walked our forefathers here just trying to survive
If they were here today, they’d see we’ve gone astray
Destroy the world we live in so that we can strive

Nuclear race, atomic waste, forest erased, Stop!

We must change our way, stop throwing away
Too late for yesterday, but not too late today

Wake up, rise up, it’s up….to you
Stop relentless waste, end pollution haze
Before we find out there is no place left to roam
In our children’s home

All our technology, poured in weaponry
We kill our neighbors ‘cause of what they believe
Power from the air and sea, could be our destiny
But profit hungry ones pump oil to misconceive

Nuclear race, atomic waste, forest erased, Stop!

We must change our way, stop throwing away
Too late for yesterday, but not too late today

SOLO

We must speak in protest, abuse of man’s progress
We realize it wrong but feel a helpless fate
I’m one of a ten billion, how can I change what’s done
One voice that water drop that opens the flood gate

Nuclear race, atomic waste, forest erased, Stop!

We must change our way, stop throwing away
Too late for yesterday, but not too late today

Wake up, rise up, it’s up….to you
Stop relentless waste, end pollution haze
Before we find out there is no place left to roam
In our children’s home
 
Agreed with Schwarz. It also sits too far forward with the rest of the song. Pull it back just a little and see if it sits a little better. Also some de-essing would help.
 
Vocals aren't sitting right. Maybe cut some down in the 400 range, see if that doesn't give it some clarity. Just doesn't seem to sit in its space.

Good tune, vocal is good and well mixed, just seems like it could fit in the song better.
 
My Names's Jack
And I live in the back
Of the Greta Garbo Home
For Wayward Boys & Girls.

Sorry...
Why 8000 years?
 
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