Original Halloween Song - A Ghost Story

ksounds

Active member
I was in the ol' Halloween spirit and decided to write a song for the season.

Critiques/comments welcome.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=805880&content=music

A Ghost Story

Sit my friend and tell me what you think you saw,
Late last night while you were underneath the stars.
You're pale as a horse and you can barely speak at all.
Sit my friend and tell me what it is you saw.

Late last night when walkin' home from my sweethearts,
Cold wind blowin' wanna tear the world apart.
Inside my head I was all alone,
"Pass the boneyard and I'll be home."

You ask me what it is that has me shivering,
And haunts me in this hour here with you,
Twas fortnight last I saw you alive and well,
Only yesterday did they just bury you. They just buried you.
 
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Cool. The vocals, lyrics and guitar are really nice.

What is that crazy effect on the vocals off to the left on "I'll be home...I'll be home..."? It is pretty strange, but in a good way I think. he background vocals/harmonies that come in on the 2nd verse really sounded nice.

Liked the bizarro creepy interlude just before the end. No issues with the mix for me...:)
 
What is that crazy effect on the vocals off to the left on "I'll be home...I'll be home..."? It is pretty strange, but in a good way I think. he background vocals/harmonies that come in on the 2nd verse really sounded nice.

Liked the bizarro creepy interlude just before the end. No issues with the mix for me...:)

Thanks Heat. That's basically me barking the "I'll" in that line. Then I put some delay on it. I think that's what you're talking about.
 
Thanks Heat. That's basically me barking the "I'll" in that line. Then I put some delay on it. I think that's what you're talking about.

Yeah, I think so, but the delayed "I'll" kind of gets cut short in a cool way...It's freaky...I just listened to that passage again...
 
Yeah, I think so, but the delayed "I'll" kind of gets cut short in a cool way...It's freaky...I just listened to that passage again...
Freaky is good. I was going for freaky.

I kind of freaked myself out recording this. The last "ghost moan" I must have recorded 20 times trying to get the right sound. Very Stanley Kubrick in practice.



Just posted a slight remix. Adjusted some levels, panning, etc.
 
Very cool. Sounds a lot like a more acoustic Stolen Babies.

I'm always a big fan of this kind of music. The production is more creative than conventional, so it's hard to critique.

That being said, I kind of feel like a lot of the really interesting vocal stuff is panned too far right. (i.e. the musical sighing between the verses). I figure if something is supposed to be an interesting/prominent part of the mix, at least a little bit of it should be on each side.

Otherwise, the panning on the breakdown near the end is very cool. I like the way the sounds walk back and forth across the musical landscape.
 
Very cool. Sounds a lot like a more acoustic Stolen Babies.

I'm always a big fan of this kind of music. The production is more creative than conventional, so it's hard to critique.

That being said, I kind of feel like a lot of the really interesting vocal stuff is panned too far right. (i.e. the musical sighing between the verses). I figure if something is supposed to be an interesting/prominent part of the mix, at least a little bit of it should be on each side.

Thanks VHS.

I originally approached this song as just a simple guitar/vocal...that was supposed to be it. In my mind it would have a Robert Johnson crossroads darkness to it. Then I realized that it wasn't going to work like that, so I decided to try a more small town theatrical approach where there would be "characters" that enter the song to the left and the right of the stage between narrations - hence the panning of the glockenspiel and the whisper ghost voices you are referring to. The glockenspiel symbolizes the ringing of the church bells. I tried actual church bells, but to me it didn't capture the right mood-too heavy, plus I wanted the end to be that much more bizarre after the light approach of the rest of the song. Lately I've seen the movie "Coroline" more times than I care too (A current favorite of my son's) and the soundtrack in that movie is closer to the mood I was going for most of the song. The end was supposed to be the Shining:)

So the panning of the elements are supposed to be separated to create character - that was my thinking anyway. Thanks for listening. I might remix this thing one more time though.
 
Just put the remix up and lessened the panning just a bit...boosted the bass too. Made it a little hotter as well.
 
I was in the ol' Halloween spirit and decided to write a song for the season.

Critiques/comments welcome.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=805880&content=music

A Ghost Story

Sit my friend and tell me what you think you saw,
Late last night while you were underneath the stars.
You're pale as a horse and you can barely speak at all.
Sit my friend and tell me what it is you saw.

Late last night when walkin' home from my sweethearts,
Cold wind blowin' wanna tear the world apart.
Inside my head I was all alone,
"Pass the boneyard and I'll be home."

You ask me what it is that has me shivering,
And haunts me in this hour here with you,
Twas fortnight last I saw you alive and well,
Only yesterday did they just bury you. They just buried you.

I love the relenetlessness of the progression.. well-written and conceived piece... I have some comments, but they are HIGHLY subjective, because I don't know what your intent was. But if I were your producer, this is what I'd consider doing differently:

1) That haunting guitar needs to be the driving force in the tune. Any other hints at percussion or anything that draws attention from the mesmerizing guitar and lead vocal are baggage.
2) All of the special effects need to leave. ALL of them. The song makes its own point, and very strongly at that. The clunks, groans, screams, and other claptrap are cliche, and patently ruin the potent effect you're setting up with the last verse. OK, I MIGHT keep the wind, but I'd saturate it in reverb and cut it by a full two-thirds, because the sample sounds artificial.
3) I'd drop the harmony vox, or pull them WAY back.
4) I'd end it just vamping the progression, fading it very slowly, inexorably out, and let the wind trickle in, without the big pseudo-scary train wreck thing.

(You sensing that my position is "less is more"?) :)

I think you're written and sang a really good and scary piece, that stands on its own merits. What's scarier, The Munsters or Blair Witch? This tune needs 4 tracks: the main guitar, the lead vox, the harmony vox (greatly diminished) and the wind (also greatly diminished). The rest, well, it's unnecessary in my humble opinion. That guitar part just aches with dispassion and terror. Let it do so.
 
"originally approached this song as just a simple guitar/vocal...that was supposed to be it. In my mind it would have a Robert Johnson crossroads darkness to it. Then I realized that it wasn't going to work like that..."

HA!!! *HA*, I say!!! I think your instincts were dead on (so to speak). Trust them. :)
 
I agree 100% with Llarion. Seriously. He made my post before I could. It doesn't sound scary or creepy at all to me the way it is right now. It just sounds like a folk song with somewhat demented lyrics. I don't know anything about musicianship or chords or whatever, but it needs more whatever guitar chords sound scary. Lol. Awesome. Minor chords maybe? Diminished 19ths? I don't know. It just needs more creepy and less camp. :D
 
It just sounds like a folk song with somewhat demented lyrics. I don't know anything about musicianship or chords or whatever, but it needs more whatever guitar chords sound scary. Lol. Awesome. Minor chords maybe? Diminished 19ths? I don't know. It just needs more creepy and less camp. :D

(You sensing that my position is "less is more"?) :)I think you're written and sang a really good and scary piece, that stands on its own merits. What's scarier, The Munsters or Blair Witch? This tune needs 4 tracks: the main guitar, the lead vox, the harmony vox (greatly diminished) and the wind (also greatly diminished). The rest, well, it's unnecessary in my humble opinion. That guitar part just aches with dispassion and terror. Let it do so.

Thanks for posting guys...

Llarion, your review was much appreciated and very thoughtful, thanks so much. So I remixed it based on my original direction and your review and posted a second version. It's "A Ghost Story - Bare Bones". I'd be interested to see if you think it sounds like you thought it would. I know what I think...

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=805880&content=music
 
Thanks for posting guys...

Llarion, your review was much appreciated and very thoughtful, thanks so much. So I remixed it based on my original direction and your review and posted a second version. It's "A Ghost Story - Bare Bones". I'd be interested to see if you think it sounds like you thought it would. I know what I think...

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=805880&content=music

Ahhh, yes. The essentials. It lets my mind paint the picture. It's WAY creepier this way. You were SO on with the Robert Johnson analogy.... I think it's appropriate that your guitar has a "parlor" kind of sound... the thinner tone...

I still don't like when it breaks into that strum weirdness, but yeah, that's the way it should be... just vamp the progression over and over.. slow fade, a touch of wind... MUCH better!
 
I didn't listen to the first mix, but I just listened to the second mix.

It wasn't scary, except at the end (from "They just buried you") it was kind of scary.

But I like it! More Halloween songs is good -- this one fits in nicely, I think.

Now that you've got more sparseness, you have more room to do stuff inside the stereo image - at one point, you had some laughing off to the far left, and that was a little spooky, but it was kind of an outlier. I'm not saying you should re-introduce any of the sound effects that everyone was dissin', but you might be able to move around the things that are already in the second version some more.
 
Ahhh, yes. The essentials. It lets my mind paint the picture. It's WAY creepier this way. You were SO on with the Robert Johnson analogy.... I think it's appropriate that your guitar has a "parlor" kind of sound... the thinner tone...

I still don't like when it breaks into that strum weirdness, but yeah, that's the way it should be... just vamp the progression over and over.. slow fade, a touch of wind... MUCH better!

Alright, so I went all the way with you on this one Llarion. I nixed the weird guitar breakdown and stopped on the last "bury you". A freaky thing happened when I did that. It opened up the main vocal and exposed and final breath, which I though sounded like a natural segway back into the guitar riff. I just updated the "Bare Bones" version if you care to listen again.
 
Hey. I just want to say, I liked the first version better. All of the sound effects, however campy as some put it, was very cool to me. It is a great song, and with the sound effects, remind me a bit if what's the new mary jane by the beatles. Very good job sir.

-Adam.
 
I like the camp!

The new (non bare-bones) mix sounds good. The vocals on the right do sound more like a person standing to the listener's right (directly to my right, but at least that's a real location).

I'm not much impressed by the bare-bones version actually. I think it's because the song doesn't feel like an old ballad. I kind of feel like if you're going to do a folk song about ghosts and death, it should have that timeless ballady sound. This song sounds like it was written well after the 19th century.
 
I listened to both mixes and by far Bare Bones emphasizes the lyrics much better, especially the last verse. The haunting driving guitar playing all the way through; a lot of wood in the tone of the guitar too. It sets the feel of the song. I really like the way you captured it.

Nice job.
 
Thanks for listening guys. Interesting to see people liking both versions for diferent reasons. Propman, based on your music, I would have guessed you would like the 1st version better. You experiment alot with your music as well.

For those of you who prefer the bare bones version, I have a question:

Should I just completely nix the background vocals. I'm thinking so...

Glad you like the tone of the guitar chili. My classical using an even spacing technique with a Rode NT3 at the 12th fret off axis, and an AT2035 between the sound hole and the bridge. Vocals using the AT2035.

Thanks again for listening and commenting.
 
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