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Thread: Original Halloween Song - A Ghost Story

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    Original Halloween Song - A Ghost Story

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    I was in the ol' Halloween spirit and decided to write a song for the season.

    Critiques/comments welcome.

    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

    A Ghost Story

    Sit my friend and tell me what you think you saw,
    Late last night while you were underneath the stars.
    You're pale as a horse and you can barely speak at all.
    Sit my friend and tell me what it is you saw.

    Late last night when walkin' home from my sweethearts,
    Cold wind blowin' wanna tear the world apart.
    Inside my head I was all alone,
    "Pass the boneyard and I'll be home."

    You ask me what it is that has me shivering,
    And haunts me in this hour here with you,
    Twas fortnight last I saw you alive and well,
    Only yesterday did they just bury you. They just buried you.
    Last edited by ksounds; 10-25-2009 at 15:07.

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    Cool. The vocals, lyrics and guitar are really nice.

    What is that crazy effect on the vocals off to the left on "I'll be home...I'll be home..."? It is pretty strange, but in a good way I think. he background vocals/harmonies that come in on the 2nd verse really sounded nice.

    Liked the bizarro creepy interlude just before the end. No issues with the mix for me...

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    Quote Originally Posted by heatmiser View Post
    What is that crazy effect on the vocals off to the left on "I'll be home...I'll be home..."? It is pretty strange, but in a good way I think. he background vocals/harmonies that come in on the 2nd verse really sounded nice.

    Liked the bizarro creepy interlude just before the end. No issues with the mix for me...
    Thanks Heat. That's basically me barking the "I'll" in that line. Then I put some delay on it. I think that's what you're talking about.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ksounds View Post
    Thanks Heat. That's basically me barking the "I'll" in that line. Then I put some delay on it. I think that's what you're talking about.
    Yeah, I think so, but the delayed "I'll" kind of gets cut short in a cool way...It's freaky...I just listened to that passage again...

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    Quote Originally Posted by heatmiser View Post
    Yeah, I think so, but the delayed "I'll" kind of gets cut short in a cool way...It's freaky...I just listened to that passage again...
    Freaky is good. I was going for freaky.

    I kind of freaked myself out recording this. The last "ghost moan" I must have recorded 20 times trying to get the right sound. Very Stanley Kubrick in practice.



    Just posted a slight remix. Adjusted some levels, panning, etc.

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    Very cool. Sounds a lot like a more acoustic Stolen Babies.

    I'm always a big fan of this kind of music. The production is more creative than conventional, so it's hard to critique.

    That being said, I kind of feel like a lot of the really interesting vocal stuff is panned too far right. (i.e. the musical sighing between the verses). I figure if something is supposed to be an interesting/prominent part of the mix, at least a little bit of it should be on each side.

    Otherwise, the panning on the breakdown near the end is very cool. I like the way the sounds walk back and forth across the musical landscape.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VomitHatSteve View Post
    Very cool. Sounds a lot like a more acoustic Stolen Babies.

    I'm always a big fan of this kind of music. The production is more creative than conventional, so it's hard to critique.

    That being said, I kind of feel like a lot of the really interesting vocal stuff is panned too far right. (i.e. the musical sighing between the verses). I figure if something is supposed to be an interesting/prominent part of the mix, at least a little bit of it should be on each side.
    Thanks VHS.

    I originally approached this song as just a simple guitar/vocal...that was supposed to be it. In my mind it would have a Robert Johnson crossroads darkness to it. Then I realized that it wasn't going to work like that, so I decided to try a more small town theatrical approach where there would be "characters" that enter the song to the left and the right of the stage between narrations - hence the panning of the glockenspiel and the whisper ghost voices you are referring to. The glockenspiel symbolizes the ringing of the church bells. I tried actual church bells, but to me it didn't capture the right mood-too heavy, plus I wanted the end to be that much more bizarre after the light approach of the rest of the song. Lately I've seen the movie "Coroline" more times than I care too (A current favorite of my son's) and the soundtrack in that movie is closer to the mood I was going for most of the song. The end was supposed to be the Shining

    So the panning of the elements are supposed to be separated to create character - that was my thinking anyway. Thanks for listening. I might remix this thing one more time though.

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    Just put the remix up and lessened the panning just a bit...boosted the bass too. Made it a little hotter as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ksounds View Post
    I was in the ol' Halloween spirit and decided to write a song for the season.

    Critiques/comments welcome.

    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...&content=music

    A Ghost Story

    Sit my friend and tell me what you think you saw,
    Late last night while you were underneath the stars.
    You're pale as a horse and you can barely speak at all.
    Sit my friend and tell me what it is you saw.

    Late last night when walkin' home from my sweethearts,
    Cold wind blowin' wanna tear the world apart.
    Inside my head I was all alone,
    "Pass the boneyard and I'll be home."

    You ask me what it is that has me shivering,
    And haunts me in this hour here with you,
    Twas fortnight last I saw you alive and well,
    Only yesterday did they just bury you. They just buried you.
    I love the relenetlessness of the progression.. well-written and conceived piece... I have some comments, but they are HIGHLY subjective, because I don't know what your intent was. But if I were your producer, this is what I'd consider doing differently:

    1) That haunting guitar needs to be the driving force in the tune. Any other hints at percussion or anything that draws attention from the mesmerizing guitar and lead vocal are baggage.
    2) All of the special effects need to leave. ALL of them. The song makes its own point, and very strongly at that. The clunks, groans, screams, and other claptrap are cliche, and patently ruin the potent effect you're setting up with the last verse. OK, I MIGHT keep the wind, but I'd saturate it in reverb and cut it by a full two-thirds, because the sample sounds artificial.
    3) I'd drop the harmony vox, or pull them WAY back.
    4) I'd end it just vamping the progression, fading it very slowly, inexorably out, and let the wind trickle in, without the big pseudo-scary train wreck thing.

    (You sensing that my position is "less is more"?)

    I think you're written and sang a really good and scary piece, that stands on its own merits. What's scarier, The Munsters or Blair Witch? This tune needs 4 tracks: the main guitar, the lead vox, the harmony vox (greatly diminished) and the wind (also greatly diminished). The rest, well, it's unnecessary in my humble opinion. That guitar part just aches with dispassion and terror. Let it do so.
    Phil My website
    (Win7/Core i7-3770k/32GB/MOTU 8pre/StudioOne 2.6/Melodyne Editor/EastWest)

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    "originally approached this song as just a simple guitar/vocal...that was supposed to be it. In my mind it would have a Robert Johnson crossroads darkness to it. Then I realized that it wasn't going to work like that..."

    HA!!! *HA*, I say!!! I think your instincts were dead on (so to speak). Trust them.
    Phil My website
    (Win7/Core i7-3770k/32GB/MOTU 8pre/StudioOne 2.6/Melodyne Editor/EastWest)

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