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Thread: And now, for something completely different...

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    And now, for something completely different...

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    Here's a hymn I wrote for Good Friday a couple of years back. The tune is "Danny Boy" (public domain - keeping it all legal, Waldo!!), which has already been borrowed over the centuries for a few hymns, including one on a similar topic. Text is my copyright, 2001.

    Anyhow, we were going to keep it a capella and segue into Song Eighteen at the end, but one night I was feeling adventurous - so I worked up a kind of cinematic soundscape approach to this. I thought I was kind of on to something new, but my niece says it's reminiscent of what they did to "Enchanted Boy" in Moulin Rouge.

    Whatever. I'm kind of pleased with it, and now I'm uncertain whether the a capella version or the cinematic version should lead off the album (we're expecting sales in the dozens!!!).

    So, fellas (and both you girls ), tell me what you think:
    King O'er the Hills

    Caroline used an MK-319. The soundscape was all loop wrangling, except some synth work (Greenoak Crystal & GakStoar Alpha VSTi's) in the second refrain The hifi streaming audio sounds muffled compared to the mp3, so if you can download the mp3, that would be better.

    I'm aware of some problems, but not sure how much of an issue they'd be for listeners, so I won't give 'em up yet, lest the topic skew in that direction.

    Thanks in advance.

    Jay

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    Well, I seem to have made it down to page two with no responses.

    Maybe I should clarify - if it was ONLY a hymn, I probably wouldn't ask you to listen, except maybe to help with miking or EQ problems. What I'd like feedback from you on is the cinematic stuff I did - drone beds, sound effects, tone clustering, etc.

    **I** thought it was pretty cool. The singer SAID she thought it sounded cool, but she always tells me what she thinks I want to hear. The guys in my band (who aren't involved in this project) listened tonight, and said something like:

    Dan: "It's, um, really interesting, Jay."
    Carl: "Yeah, interesting, that's it."

    Sheesh.

    I'm sure you guys know how hard it is figuring out whether your creations are any good - they're like our kids, we love them, we bury countless hours into them, we want everyone to love them as much as we do. So **I** can't be objective about them - I need you to be.

    If it's a stupid idea to do this to a song, tell me so. If the idea's okay but I'm screwing it up somehow, tell me so, and how you'd fix it. Please.

    Thanks, you guys.

    Jay

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    Hadn't seen this one yet. When I saw the Python-esque title I had to check it out.

    I'm a big fan of dissonance, but this isn't working for me. I think it distracts from her voice. Too much contrast.

    I like the ambient sounds like the rain, etc.

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    Originally posted by M.Brane
    I'm a big fan of dissonance, but this isn't working for me. I think it distracts from her voice. Too much contrast.
    Thx, M.

    Yeah, I made a bunch of changes to the second refrain to try to make it different from the first one, think I may have cluttered it up too much.

    Was it just the refrains that were too dissonant, or were verses 2-3 (with the chant drone) not working either?

    And did you listen all the way to the end? The dissonances are gone in the last refrain. 'Course, if everyone tunes it out before they get there, it won't matter much.

    I appreciate the input.

    Anyone else?

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    The mix: You hafta do something about the sibilance on the vocal. Also, sometimes I can't hear what she's singing because it gets lost, not just because the level of the music's a bit high, but because it runs counter to the melody and makes it more difficult to hear. I know you're proud of the synth stuff LOL but turn it down in places. LOL

    The lyrics: I don't think love limps to defeat. Not real love.

    'Love longs for what's sweet'
    'Love's tears do entreat'

    The song: it's great. The music surges slowly along behind the vocal, like waves rolling up on a beach, matching it roughly, or like wind gusting up in a high place. One reason I like it is because it reminds me of bits of Infrared Roses by the Grateful Dead. They did it weirder than you, I imagine more drugs were involved, but just like this one, a truly weird approach has these moments of real beauty if you do things right. It's gonna weed people out on the first listening, right? Never mind. It's like meditation - the longer you listen to it, the more sense it makes. It's got beauty, but it's not pretty. I have no idea what he felt at the end, but I hope to fuck it wasn't the way the music in this makes me feel. It's so desolate. I hope he was too occupied with dealing with the moment to feel that desolate. I hope this is more about you than him. I can see how the strong, gentle beauty of the melody moving through its changes set against that musical backdrop of dire skies tells the story. But for some reason, this focusses my attention on the background more than the melody. Maybe try lowering the level on the synth bits. Dunno. I'm groping.

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    Thanks dobro!

    Yeah, I've already decided to drop the beds for refrains 1 & 2 way back. Thanks for confirming. And I'll check the vocs again - I didn't notice sibilance, but my ears are not what they were.

    As for The "mood" thing - the last refrain moves away from dissonance, into minor key consonance, and the whole piece ends with 3 hits on the major tonic ... not sure what else I can do to convey a "happy ending". Also, remember this is Lent / Good Friday thing - can't be getting too happy! We give that up for Lent.

    Here's the thought process behind "Love limps":
    Christ's final walk to Calvary was along the path that all "criminals" had to take to get there. Children are conceived in joy and love, we parents do our best to raise them, and watching that product of our love take one last painful walk to an untimely and sorrowful end - deserved? maybe - law mimics justice, it doesn't always provide it - is, in a manner of speaking, an ultimate and final defeat.

    For every living soul who walked that first century version of "The Green Mile", love DID limp toward defeat. Except Jesus. The line was describing nature of their green mile. One of the things Christ overcame, once you get to the three final chords.

    Thanks again for your encouraging words.

    Jay

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    ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????.... I don't know?

    I don't think I'm qualified to critique it.

    Joe

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    Originally posted by Smokepole
    I don't think I'm qualified to critique it.
    I never let that stop me!

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    Unhappy

    think the mix is good, but I can't handle this kind/amount(?) of dissonance..
    cheers

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    Thx, groove. I'm thinking if I let the vocs overshadow the track some more, the dissonance won't be quite so hard-to-take (though that's kinda what I'm going for).

    I appreciate the input. Still not hearing the sibilance though. Curse these ears - ruined by years of loud rock and roll...

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