Listening now in lo-fi, so can't give you much sonic advice.
Arrangement wise, this kind of needs to go somewhere. I think the writing is fine, but there is really nothing to fill out the arrangement for a good two minutes until the bg vocals come in and then the drums and electric at the 3 minute mark. I'm not sure what it needs, but it needs something because the verses get a little bit old by the time anything begins to happen. This kind of sounds like a guitar demo which is fine if that is all you are going for, but, to keep the audience interested, I think this needs to have some kind of arrangement filled in -- maybe some percussion -- I don't know, just something -- imho --
I think the background vocals are a good idea, but they were a little bit off pitch wise (and I have tons of pitch issues, so I guess it is okay for me to say this -- I know I need a lot of work in this department as well)
The drumming on my end seemed a bit out of place...not sure if it is the sound or just the levels, and the electric was a nice touch, but again, when the arrangment is not building towards it, it kind of seems a little bit anti-climatic.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm being harsh. I just really think this song deserves a second chance...build an arrangement and see where it goes. Experiment, add some strings, add some percussion, see if it makes a difference? Maybe it will, and maybe it won't, who knows, all you can do is try. Check around for different sounds and just go for it.
This is just my $.02 and since I don't know much, take it for what it is worth.
Thanks for giving us a listen!