New Song: "How To Acheive Your Goals Without Actually Trying"

Eurythmic

Eurythmic

majordomo plasticomo
Hey all, I'm looking for some input on a new song. I'm not quite sure what to think of this one - I'm hardly a prolific songwriter, so it would be funny to say that I have a "method"... but if I did, I guess it would be that I generally spend a lot of time with a song, so by the time I'm done I have a good idea of whether I like it or not.

This one was different... It was basically a situation of, "Write whatever, sing whatever, play whatever, and see what comes out". And by the time I was done, I actually kind of liked what I had.

I'm really looking for input on the song, not the recording. In the interest of getting the recording down as quickly as possible, I left in all kinds of noise and hiss (it's really not as bad as I'm making it sound). I thought I was just fooling around - I didn't really expect to like the final product.

Let me know what your thoughts are, whatever they might be - but here are my primary questions. One, is the song any good? And two, should I add to it or keep it as is? I wouldn't want the song to be too terribly much longer, because the other pieces I'm working on right now are all five to six minutes. But I could easily do another verse and chorus, giving the song an A-B-A-B pattern. I could also write a new melodic line for the next verse, making the song A-B-C-B.

So, let me know what you think. Thanks, everyone!

The song is called "How To Acheive Your Goals Without Actually Trying". The file is 2.61 megabytes.

 
Dude,
You gotta be a little more patient than that...

Put it back, I'll listen and comment.

Queue
 
Eurythmic said:
I'm really looking for input on the song, not the recording.
Click to expand...


That's a tough call - because I can barely understand the lyrics in most spots. If this is just a rough draft, dump the effects on the vocals and bring them to the front of the mix ... then we can better critique the song rather than the recording, et al.

I will say that the flow of the song *sounds* pretty hip ... has a haunting feeling to it.

Cheers.
Scott
 
I found the arrangement rather Spartan....
Just a litte web space/domain humor :D
just kidding.


It is very difficult to make out the lyrics, but ...bottom line... I think the song is worth pursuing.

Has a little bit of David Bowie "Space Oddity" era sound to it.

Queue
 
Thanks for the comments, guys. Between here and the friends I've hit up for critique, the general consensus seems to be that the buried vocals don't help the song. I'm thinking I'll bring them up after the first quarter or so.

I haven't done anything with the song since the night that I recorded it, because I'm kind of at a loss for arrangement ideas. Maybe you have some suggestions?

I'm planning this as a part of a bigger project, and right now I'm thinking that this will be the final song on the disc, crossfaded into another song's fadeout. (This is all speculation at the moment, because I only have about half of this project's songs written.) The previous song has a string coda, which I could extend and use as part of the introduction for this song. Can you picture that?

Don't worry, this isn't a "tell me what I can do so I can go do it!" type question... :) I'm just curious as to what other musicians might do if they were working on something similar.

Now, I generally use synthesized, rather than sampled, MIDI instruments. Although I don't necessarily want to sound "straight out of the '80s", that decade's music influences me greatly. Keeping that in mind, how might you fill this arrangement out? Or wouldn't you fill it out?
 
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