Dave, I agree with Calwood about you reading the lyrics. on 00:52 particularly ( Don´t you think some flange would be cool in here? not in your voice!
I think your voice is too much in the face in all the song.
As the snare should have more volume and more crispness, something around 3k
For the new metal songs I prefer the guitar with lots of bass, its the actual new metal guitar fashion, is it not?
Also trying adding more point to the kick, so we call hear when it attacks!
At 3:00 minutes it get´s really good but the vocals are not in the same ambient as other things!
Think I said to much... :-/
Take care!