New acoustic rock tune posted, please comment!

Mr. Moon

Mr. Moon

Force of Naked
Hi,

Please check out and comment on a new tune that I did with a bud of mine. The tune is called "Molds of Clay" and it is a collaborative effort between my bud, Jim, and I. He wrote the basic tune (acoustic guitar and vocals), and from there I added lead guitars, bass, etc., and we both put together the drums and other remaining instruments.

I normally do "heavier" music, like metal and such (i.e. my other posted tune "War13"), but I also enjoy playing and recording mellower stuff too. The next tune we're currently working on is one of mine, and as such is quite a bit heavier!! :)

Please let me know what you think about the mix, production, song content, and anything else you'd like to comment on regarding the song.

"Molds of Clay":
http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=2903&alid=-1

I tried to include all the pertinent info I could think of about the tune, but I'm sure I forgot something, so please feel free to ask any questions and I'll be sure to reply!

Thanks!

-Mr. Moon
 
nice song! i like the progression during the chorus.. it's just different enough to be 'new' sounding, and not cliche.

the song has kind of a G-n-R 'Patience' vibe to it, which is cool.

i think the mix is well balanced, maybe add a little 'air' to the vox by twiddling and EQ around 14k and above, not much, but a touch might do it.

vox are just a tiny bit pitchy in like two spots, but that's me being really nit-pickey.

keep it up!
 
volthause said:
vox are just a tiny bit pitchy in like two spots, but that's me being really nit-pickey.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the feedback! The stuff about the vox being "pitchy" is the exact kind of stuff I'm looking for, as my ears are no longer fresh and it's hard for me to hear some of the nuances that fresh ears pick up.

Could you please jot down the time(s) where you hear the vocals get pitchy and post them here or PM them to me? I would really appreciate it...

Thanks!

-Mr. Moon
 
Guitars, nice, shaker, nice ...

vocals, way, way, way too much reverb.

This is NOT your voice we are hearing, it is a 'box' a machine.

YOu and this song deserve MORE and BETTER.

Do not ever cheat these board members of a nice vocal like this by hiding the quality and feeling behind an algorithm.

The human voice is the most important element in this song.

Look at your meters, the guitar is probably peaking above the vocal.

Please, mix this vocal much cleaner and drier and repost it.

At 1:41 to 1:43 you may appear to some people to 'go out of tune' but that is much more evident with these effects on your voice. Without the effects it would be 'feeling'. You cannot get emotion and quality out of this box, it comes out of your heart and it's there, in this song, don't cover it up, don't cheat us.

Bring the guitars DOWN, and reduce the amount of effects on your vocal, please. This is a beautiful song, and I would LOVE to put real strings to it and after I finish this I'm going to jam on violin, viola AND cello ... I gotz to practice lotz ya know ...

PM me if you want to collaborate on this tune, but I won't put real strings in with your vocal covered up ... because where would they go in the mix ? I'd just end up stomping on your vocal even further ...

Everything is pretty good here, the bass is a bit muddy in parts, yeah, the cello at the end, I'm liking it.

And as I continue to listen to the song, and play through it, I'm hearing the cello part, I can barely hear it in most places and this is probably appropriate, it's for color and body, and that is well written, I urge you again, let your vocal shine, those backups are really good quality too. Don't let the guitar dominate the mix please.
 
This has potential

The playing is great. Nice sounds.
The mix.

Vocals--way too much effects! and bring them up. You are losing vocal definition and burying it in the mix.

Lose a little of the shaker, it should stay in the background. Perhaps it will drop back on its own when you bring the vocals up.
 
Very nice guitar sounds - nice song, good feel, everything sounds great... except the vox.

I'm starting to think we all here at HRC just need to record vox absolutely DRY for awhile, because these crappy software reverbs are going to be the end of us.:)

And I'm as guilty as anyone else....

Anyway, the vox sound like they're in a cardboard vox, but the performance sounds good, so, as SV said, don't hide it!

Good song, Mr. Moon. Kind of Elton John-ish.

Chris
 
Wow!!

Wow! Thanks for all the feedback and suggestions...

I will work on the vox a bit to remove some of the verb ...how do the vocals sound during the refrain that begins at 2:40? On my monitoring systems (car stereo, workstations, x2 home stereos) the vox are much dryer during this refrain. How does the verb level sound during this part, as compared to the other parts? Is this closer to the sound I should be going for?

Thanks everyone!

-Mr. Moon
 
hey man, great tune here!!! I agree with everyone else about the vox! they ARE the center piece in a song like this! I LOVE it! nice job on the recording and just a little more time on the mix and it is gonna be sweet! thanks for this tune, man! brightened up my day! peace the dude abides!
 
Real nice acoustic guitar sound. I liked the layering. Pretty part too.

Not sure what's going on with the vocals. Almost sounds like phase issues. Nice voice though.

The shaker didn't work real well IMO.

Liked the solo at 3:16. 12-string?

Pitchiness at 1:16 on the word "clay." Little flat at 1:37 Very small however. Maybe some other spots too.

A little battle for space between the guitars and the vocals.

Very minor things. Did I mention good acoustic guit sound? :) Good job.
 
"Molds of Clay"

Nice fingerpicking... hmm... thinkin that shaker you got there's just getting
in the way... would you consider hardpanning that out of the vocal/gtr's way?

Singing's not bad. Lots of overlapping mids-there (guitar/guitar/bass/vocs)...
in the 1:02 & on part... some separation there would be welcome, but w/this
many tracks that's often tricky. Sometimes different levels of reverb works,
sometimes panning, sometimes EQ... would be worth an attempt...

something that would pull the vocs out on top would be some more high end air (above 9k)...
but you pretty much have to capture that at recording... (just a sugg.)

The octave stuff is nice. You've got a nice song here.


Chad
 
participant said:
"Molds of Clay"

Nice fingerpicking... hmm... thinkin that shaker you got there's just getting in the way... would you consider hardpanning that out of the vocal/gtr's way?

Chad
Click to expand...

Which way would you suggest to pan it to? ...Possibly to the left while the lead guitar does its thing on the right? Or do you think that dropping its volume would be enough?

Thanks!

-Mr. Moon
 
I liked the track too! It has a nice structure to it and sounds well played.

I think I would have preferred a bass guitar to the synth pad bass sounds I was hearing but otherwise, as previously mentioned, a little more top end on the vocals would add some nice shine to the sound.

A very fine effort over-all.

Cheers! :)
 
I like the guitar tones, nice and clear (I say this all the time, but I have nothing else to say recording guitars!). I don't like that muddy chorusy feel to the vocals (man, I'm tired). The drums samples are pretty good. Nice song, Mr. Moon. I feel at peace listening to this.
 
The Ghost of FM said:
I liked the track too! It has a nice structure to it and sounds well played.

I think I would have preferred a bass guitar to the synth pad bass sounds I was hearing but otherwise, as previously mentioned, a little more top end on the vocals would add some nice shine to the sound.

A very fine effort over-all.

Cheers! :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the feedback.

Actually, there's a pretty active bass line throughout the song that I played myself. I ran it through amplitube and a bit of verb (of course) to give it some "umph", but sounds like I may have to reduce the amnt of verb everywhere to bring it up front a bit more... I didn't want to bring it too far in the front, as this is supposed to be a mellower tune, and I didn't want the bass line to overwhelm the rest of the tune.

Oh yeah, there *is* a synth pad in there too, as evidenced in the beginning and trailing off at the end, but I tried to keep it lower in the mix to keep the tune clean. I think I may work on some track volume envelopes for the synth pad to tone it down in spots...

Again, thanks for all the suggestions and help! ...And I thought I was done mixing this tune :)

-Mr. Moon
 
Thanks everyone!!

I'd like to thank everyone for their feedback and suggestions. Jim (the dude who wrote the tune and who I recorded the tune with) and I will be getting together later today to go over each and every suggestion/point brought to the table.

I'm thinking Jim and I will try to get an updated version posted in the near future, once we have the bugs worked out and decide that we've got it to the point that we can leave it be ...it's only a home studio recording after all. Perhaps someday we'll have a chance to recording it in a "real" studio with more "real" (read: "expensive") gear, but I figure we'll have most of the arrangemant, etc., already figured out, so we'll at least save some money by not having to completely reinvent the wheel for the tune, so to speak.

I'll be sure to post our next "final" version and see what you all think!

Thanks again,

-Mr. Moon
 
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