need your comments for this..

First off, it is great. I like the sound of all the instruments. I'm hearing a very staccato, punchy bassline part when you get to it.

From a production persperctive:
Double your vocal track on the bridge or big ending whatever you want to call it.
Shorten the big ending a little. Then slap 1/2 of the beginning on the end. Revisit the big ending a 2nd time and fade out like you have already done. Basically a 1,2,1,2,3,1,3 song structure.

I really liked the whole enchillada. Take my production suggestions if you want to put it on the radio, otherwise, if you want it to stand as art, add your bass part and some vocals and I'd buy it on its lyrics alone.

mm
 
hey Middleman, yes, I wanna make a "radio-thing" out of this; about doubling the vocals, I still don't know how that works - is it somethin like copying the track with a slight delay?
thx for taking the time!
 
groovejunkie said:
about doubling the vocals, I still don't know how that works - is it somethin like copying the track with a slight delay?
thx for taking the time!
Click to expand...

You just go back and sing the same vocal line word for word with the exact vocal inflections as your first, then mix the 2 tracks together as one.....dont mix them too much together....just bring the 2nd vocal up enough to add body and depth to the fisrt one.
 
Very quirky! Kinda reminds me of the Clash, vocally at least. I can't offer anything to improve your mix. I can't tell if this is punkish or metalish. Vocally it sounds punkish, but the drums SCREAM metal. I would like to hear some harmonies. The recording really sounds excellent!
 
Kramer - I tried what you said, but there's no way to sing the parts "the exact vocal inflections" as the first parts, I'm not such a good singer (yet) to control that - wouldn't it be better then to double the existing tracks?

Sydfan - thx man! btw, what do you mean with "like to hear some harmonies"?
 
Pretty cool for still being in the oven.;)

I would make the drum track heavier, more HH and less ride.

I agree that the vocals need some thickening/harmonies.
 
About the doubling.It can be a real nightmare if mixed improperly but as far as the thickening goes ,it helps much.You only try and emulate the exact way you sang it the first time.The slight(and sometimes not so slight) changes in the second track will,if done acceptably,add that thickening and trick the ear a little.I don't recomend abusing this concept and besides ,I like the way you sang this tune.Other than the overall concept of the tune ,the vox is the best.It's like the guitars are caught in the middle of wanting to be metal and wanting to have better distortion.The guitar sounds like shit and need to be there to drive the song,Double the guitars if you double anything and the end has a horrendous edit,like the tape ran out.Worthy of a redo.
 
Well....

My left ear is fried from the flu....
I'm better now but the residual is like a "swimmer's ear" effect....
Doc says it will go away with time but, I can't gauge audio levels or seperation listening in "joro-mono"....

so........
after that rather lengthy preface....

seems to me the guits need to come up in the mix...the distorted track anyways...

On Meter...
Some of the lyrics seem rushed....just an observation..

really weird....
I have my mp3 player set to loop......and it's like the never ending song.....it blends perfectly stop to start.....ya know what I mean??

If ya want this to be commercial....you should expand by about a minute....perhaps a tempo change somewhere....

Take it easy man,
Joe
 
Thanks for the comments guys!

M.Brane - I agree about the drum-track and the ride, but about the harmonies of the vocals - there's still too less structure in the song(well, there isn't any) , and maybe a bridge or two and a structure like Middleman suggested, will change the perception of the vocals..?

W.I.S.C. - I thing finally I understood.. no doubling by copying but by singing.. ok, well, is gonna take a lot of time, but at least it's vocal training; the guitars in the first part were ment to be not metalish in contrast to those in the second - however, seems that I have to retrack almost everything.. btw, the tape ran out cos this was just a "fist cut"

Joe - wellcome to the club - I'm just quitting (the flu-club hehe); like I said, the next version of this is gonna have a "song structure";
the "rushed lyrics" that you noticed, well, that was a failing attempt of rapping.. my rhythm section is still very weak, especially at the vocals, but I'll try my best next time

cheers!
 
The art of doubling a vocal by second performance takes awhile to perfect...if you want to just copy it and delay it a bit, thats a decent way too....

this song is more good stuff...i love the concept and the playing is good too.....

i think the lyrics need to be fleshed out more.....maybe i could write some for ya:rolleyes:

hey check your email, i sent ya something.....:)


MIKE
 
Huh. With a handle like "groovejunkie", I'd have thought you'd have laid down the bass first...:D

A reggae bass line would be interesting. Nice sparse mix. I wouldn't try to fatten too much - it's pretty cool right now.

Nice vocs. You might want a retake - seemed like one spot got away from you early on. Wish I could sing like that...

Anyhow, sonically, it's got most of what it needs. Good song idea too - maybe Greenpeace will book you for their next Earth Day bash. ;)

Can't wait to hear the finished product.
 
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