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Thread: Looking for more of a composition critique than a mix one.

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by PDP View Post
    Yes the kick drum in particular. There's a double kick at the end of the loop. That's very awkward. I'd take the second hit out altogether maybe.
    I’ll rework the whole beat there.

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    This reminds me of early of Montreal. I'd look to them for inspiration on song structure.

    I tried not to read other replies and be influenced so sorry if some of this has been said. I think you need space at the beginning before you jump into the vocal, even if it's just playing the chord for 4 beats... even if you hit the chord once for a whole bar or measure and then jump in... it just needs some space.

    In my mind, this seems to be in an A B C A B C format, with A being your apparent chorus.

    A beginning with the "fallen leaves in the winter..."
    B beginning at 0:24 with "and I'll..."
    C beginning at 0:51 with "I'm going down"
    The C section is the bridge to me.

    I might consider doing an A B A C B A structure and changing the lyric in the second B section.

    Mix-wise I think the timing could be tightened on the double vocal and in general the vocal could be brought down a few dB. There's a scratchiness on one of the tracks so maybe use a subtle noise remover on that, but it's not too distracting. I'd also compress the guitars a bit more personally and play with panning and expand the stereo field to make it feel wider. I think the parts themselves are fine, but again I also enjoy early of Montreal stuff so if that's not the vibe you're going for then you could certainly go in a more pop direction.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by grn View Post
    This reminds me of early of Montreal. I'd look to them for inspiration on song structure.

    I tried not to read other replies and be influenced so sorry if some of this has been said. I think you need space at the beginning before you jump into the vocal, even if it's just playing the chord for 4 beats... even if you hit the chord once for a whole bar or measure and then jump in... it just needs some space.

    In my mind, this seems to be in an A B C A B C format, with A being your apparent chorus.

    A beginning with the "fallen leaves in the winter..."
    B beginning at 0:24 with "and I'll..."
    C beginning at 0:51 with "I'm going down"
    The C section is the bridge to me.

    I might consider doing an A B A C B A structure and changing the lyric in the second B section.

    Mix-wise I think the timing could be tightened on the double vocal and in general the vocal could be brought down a few dB. There's a scratchiness on one of the tracks so maybe use a subtle noise remover on that, but it's not too distracting. I'd also compress the guitars a bit more personally and play with panning and expand the stereo field to make it feel wider. I think the parts themselves are fine, but again I also enjoy early of Montreal stuff so if that's not the vibe you're going for then you could certainly go in a more pop direction.
    Thanks for giving it a listen and the critique! I’ve never heard of Montreal. I’ll give them a listen.

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