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Thread: Impressionable (angsty waltz-rock)

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    Impressionable (angsty waltz-rock)

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    This is something I had planned to finish sometime in June, and I almost did, but I started to dislike the arrangement (it sounded too similar to a previous song) and I gave up on it for a while. But I'm newly unemployed so I've had plenty of time to finish it.

    I'd appreciate comments not only on the mix, but on performance and composition as well.

    Thanks.

    Impressionable

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    The mix sounds fine. Everything seems to have it's place. That key sound is a bit cheesy. The song itself, well, I can't lie. I don't like it. I tend to stay away from songs with "babe" or "baby" in them. I'm not trying to be mean or cruel. At first I thought it might be a comedy tune. Feel free to curse me at will.
    All is vanity and a striving after the wind.

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    Please, be cruel

    Is the cheese only in the sound of the keys or does the part need to be rewritten?

    Could you be more specific about your dislike? To me it just seems to be flat or lackluster. It lacks emotional depth... or like charisma. It doesn't grab me. It just drags along being unimpressive.

    After I had given up on this, I started to remake it in 4/4 time at a much faster tempo, perhaps that would've been a better route. If you prefer the comedy tunes, just wait for my next number, it's a techno/dance song with clips taken from gamespy.com.

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    RAMI Guest
    I like the drum sound. Snare sounds great. I can live with the keyboard but can see why someone would find it a bit cheesy. Maybe turn it down a bit. Whenever something's done in a waltz, you're bordering on cheese as it is, that timing just has that quality to it. And then to put "do you love me baby" type lyrics on top of it almost had me waiting for a punch line.

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    The lyrics (and the basic song structure) were written years ago... I think while I was still in high school. Clearly I should rework them. Either turn down the schmaltz but keep it serious, or actually add punchlines.

    For me, the parts of the lyrics I like are 1) just using 'impressionable' and 2) 'i thought you were serious but you were joking / you thought i was joking but i was not'.

    RAMI, how do you feel about the drum fills and the sound of the toms?

    How does anyone feel about the solo (especially the length) and the ending?

  6. #6
    RAMI Guest
    Actually, that "serious/joking" line stood out for me as being cool, too. In fact, I can't say much of the lyrics struck me as bad...Just the type of song it is, lyrically, adds to the schmaltiness of the waltz.

    The rolls are good. The fills going into and coming out of the first chorus are solid. Nothing wrong with the drum sound or the drumming all through the tune. I wouldn't have noticed this if you didn't mention the fills, but you use the exact same one going into the second chorus, too. It really doesn't matter, but you might want to slightly change it.

    The solo is ok, I'm not a guitar player so I'm no authority, but it's a little choppy. But so are Neil Young's, so who am I to say anything.

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    Interesting song... To me (on my speakers anyway) it sounds like there's not enough treble on the instruments. Like they are mixed fine, but too far in the background. I think the lyrics are pretty good... the keyboard in the back reminds me of a carnival or something. Nothing wrong with that, it's different. It actually kind of grows on you, kind of trippy. Overall I like it. The voice and music kind of reminds me of weezer.

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    RAMI - I'm tickled pink you find no fault with the drums, because they are actually programmed. I did make my own samples of my own set though, so I only consider it half cheating. I think the fills would all work better if I either recorded the drums live, or at least used a MIDI kit to input them. Clicking a mouse on a grid just isn't the same as flailing limbs about.

    SnakeDog5050 - Reminding people of Weezer is one of the reasons I had shelved this. The guitar parts seemed lame with the constant chug-chug.

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    Sorry but I couldn't help but think of weezer at times. I like weezer though and don't see anything wrong with that. As long as a lot of your songs don't sound like them though!

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    Quote Originally Posted by RAMI
    I like the drum sound. Snare sounds great. I can live with the keyboard but can see why someone would find it a bit cheesy. Maybe turn it down a bit. Whenever something's done in a waltz, you're bordering on cheese as it is, that timing just has that quality to it. And then to put "do you love me baby" type lyrics on top of it almost had me waiting for a punch line.

    While I agree that the song has some 'cheesy-ness' to it, I feel that I must point out that the oohm-pah-pah type of waltz is only 1 of 1000 ways to play in 3/4 time. I'm working on something now that doesn't have a shred of that in it that is in 3 time (or maybe it's more of a 6). I suppose it might not be the least cheesy song of all time, but I don't see it as 'cheesy' really.

    I think I can hear what SteveLetwin means about the 'lackluster' feel in the song. I'm not sure I can pinpoint where it is, and so I can only advise you to try to spend more time on the performances when tracking, if that helps.

    The recording is good. Keep at it!!!

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