It hurts

Hi guys, this song is a song that I've been working on for some years now and now I've done the demo I am asking for some feedback.

It Hurts by irwin abrigo | Free Listening on SoundCloud


IT HURTS

Written & Produced by Irwin Abrigo
Vocals & All Vocals arrangement by Heather Rachael
©2020 Irwin Abrigo (Member Of BMI)

(VERSE 1)

I plan, to live , my whole life through
With me, and you, yes this is true
I remember you saying
You’d wanted the same thing too
we met, I had wanted
Your love to be devoted

Snow is falling, I’m at home
It is cold, I’m alone
Against my window there’s a storm
And it’s coming on strong

(CHORUS)
Outside, I can hear
Hear the sound of the wind, blowing
Wishing, Lying in my bed, I’m pretending
Pretending you were near
Just to think you’re not here it hurts
Just to think you’re not here it hurts
Just to think you’re not here it... hurts

(VERSE 2)
Never had, I ask, you for too much
So how can you make me feel sad?
I only ask for your touch
You know that you’re all that I had
I need your, hugs and kisses
I need you more than riches

I dim the lights, through the night
And this is, wishful thinking
Like the wind that blows through my door
I hope you’ll come walking

(CHORUS)
Outside, I can hear
Hear the sound of the wind, blowing
Wishing, Lying in my bed, I’m pretending
Pretending you were near
Just to think you’re not here it hurts
Just to think you’re not here it hurts
Just to think you’re not here it, hurts

(BRIDGE)
Just to think, that you’d leave
Is what I can’t believe
You left me with a broken heart
Pretending you were here

(Out)
Just to think you’re not here it hurts
Just to think you’re not here it hurts
Just to think you’re not here it... hurts
 
Irwin , I thought that was very well written and performed. What I think it needs is smoothing out. I would start with the snare hits . They make 4 or 5 hits right in a row , dead on time and all the same volume. Some individual volume changes on the hits would make it flow better and sound less robotic. Some of the back and forth vocal parts could also use some volume adjustments. I know what you're going for , but it gets a little cluttered. There was also a little fade and start back in there somewhere that sounded out of time. All in all good song that just needs some editing to get it final . Enjoyed it .. mark
 
Irwin , I thought that was very well written and performed. What I think it needs is smoothing out. I would start with the snare hits . They make 4 or 5 hits right in a row , dead on time and all the same volume. Some individual volume changes on the hits would make it flow better and sound less robotic. Some of the back and forth vocal parts could also use some volume adjustments. I know what you're going for , but it gets a little cluttered. There was also a little fade and start back in there somewhere that sounded out of time. All in all good song that just needs some editing to get it final . Enjoyed it .. mark

Yes Mark, I do understand the input and advice you have given in your comment above and I am taking them very seriously. the snare volume idea that is a very good one so I am going to look into that. Glad you enjoy the listen.

Thanks for the reply.

Irwin
 
Very cool and original idea here. Many points for originality. I honestly think it works as a kind of lighthearted, cheeky and ironic song. A lot of stiff melodies and rhythms - but again, that's the uplifting vibe I think you're going for. I personally might throw in some smoother, flowing melodies on the keyboards. Some of the female vocals are SLIGHTLY pitchy in places - but overall quite good.
 
Very cool and original idea here. Many points for originality. I honestly think it works as a kind of lighthearted, cheeky and ironic song. A lot of stiff melodies and rhythms - but again, that's the uplifting vibe I think you're going for. I personally might throw in some smoother, flowing melodies on the keyboards. Some of the female vocals are SLIGHTLY pitchy in places - but overall quite good.

Yes Stevie, that is just the vibe I am reaching for, and thanks for sharing your thoughts about my song.
Myself and my vocalist we are going to go after that slightly pitch you are talking about.

Thanks for the reply.

Irwin
 
Hey Irwin, I really enjoyed listening to your song. As mentioned above, this track is very original sounding...the only thing that I did notice though on my laptop speakers is this: the background vocals were sounding louder than the main vocals to the point of overshadowing it completely. Also, it sounded as if the backing vocals were going off-key on a few occasions? Thanks for sharing!
 
Hey Irwin, I really enjoyed listening to your song. As mentioned above, this track is very original sounding...the only thing that I did notice though on my laptop speakers is this: the background vocals were sounding louder than the main vocals to the point of overshadowing it completely. Also, it sounded as if the backing vocals were going off-key on a few occasions? Thanks for sharing!

Hi Himalayanger, Thank you so much for listening to my song and I am glad that you enjoy the listen. I've found that the things you have commented on are very interesting things to hear and I thank you for that too [MENTION=130473]irwin[/MENTION]
 
Hi Irwin

This is a fun song, really enjoyed it!! The pitchy vocals have been addressed, but that can easily be fixed if you do not want to re-record.

The vocals have the a lot of reverb on it, and the instrumental sounds almost dry when compared. That makes the vocals not mix with it and sounds separated, pushed back at times with the instrumental upfront. It's almost as if the instrumental was a karaoke track and the vocals recorded over it.
The multi vox parts needs to be arranged a bit better using volume, panning and some eq. They drown each other and that takes away from the vibe of the song. I would take on these issues first before looking at some eq to be applied in a few spots.

This is just my opinions but as i said, i really like the song and thank you for sharing. I would like to hear this track after it's been worked on a bit more!
 
Irwin, your music has gotten a lot better since you first started here at the forums. Great job!
 
Hi Irwin

This is a fun song, really enjoyed it!! The pitchy vocals have been addressed, but that can easily be fixed if you do not want to re-record.

The vocals have the a lot of reverb on it, and the instrumental sounds almost dry when compared. That makes the vocals not mix with it and sounds separated, pushed back at times with the instrumental upfront. It's almost as if the instrumental was a karaoke track and the vocals recorded over it.
The multi vox parts needs to be arranged a bit better using volume, panning and some eq. They drown each other and that takes away from the vibe of the song. I would take on these issues first before looking at some eq to be applied in a few spots.

This is just my opinions but as i said, i really like the song and thank you for sharing. I would like to hear this track after it's been worked on a bit more!

Very interesting comment and advice you have given above and I am much appreciative of it.

Glad you like my song. Thanks for the review.
[MENTION=130473]irwin[/MENTION]
 
Yes Bruthish,

you have been commenting on my songs here for a very long time now and if you say I have gotten a lot better, (Great job!) well my friend, I'll take that as a compliment.

Thanks for listening to my song.
[MENTION=130473]irwin[/MENTION]
 
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