Critique please

raven46

raven46

New member
Hey guys

I buried a good friend today, I wrote this tune Saturday and dedicated it to him. There are a few bum notes and mistakes. I'm not at all happy with the performance, I couldn't really focus when I was tracking, so I'm gonna do it again but I wont get a chance until next week.
Its very repetitive but that was the point. I might add something when I redo it.

Its been ages since I posted a song. I would be grateful if ye can critique the mix.

Urban man(Ode to Seamus)


http://www.reverbnation.com/burninsinners
 
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I'm not really digging it. It's just way too slow and monotonous for me. It does kind of have a "fuck the world" feel to it though, so if that's your response to your friends passing, then you nailed it.

Sorry about your friend. :(
 
Thanks Greg for taking the time to listen and for your thoughts especially since this genre is not your thing. What did you think of the levels? Is the piano buried too much in the mix?
 
Listening again......

I guess it is. I'm faintly hearing what I think is a piano. So yeah, if you want it more prominent, bring it up.

I'd focus on better guitar tones, and obviously, tighter playing. This could be cool with some big, menacing guitars.
 
(Serious) timming issues are everywhere and are specially noticiable in this kind of song -

There´s space for more reverbs / delays (plus snare is so dry...).

Good Luck!

Ciro
 
Dude...

This is a foundation for a freaking fantastic song.

I like. Alot.

But as mentioned before the obvious timing issues,

the kick and the snare to my ears need some love and attention. They sound too 'little' for the vibe your trying to capture here.

Beef up the guitars, and get the piano up front and add some atmosphere to it.


This is definitely something i would listen on a regular basis provided there was some more work put into it.


Im going to listen to it a few more times and PM you my intrusive thoughts if your up for it.

Off to a Fucking phenominal start.. Keep working on it. Don't quit there.

Your buddy (rest his soul) will thank you for it in the long run bro.
 
Ciro and Atom Bomb thanky you

Yeah timing issues really have let this piece down, when I was tracking I just could'nt concentrate without my mind wandering. Real sorry I neglected it but as I was saying I will be retacking this again as it was done very quickly, as you can tell everything was one take.

There is only a tiny amount done to the drums, just a bit of eq carved out if the toms, kick and snare. As for the reverb I use it sparingly on everything and mostly prefer a dry snare same usually with vox espically when the guitars and piano are wet.

I was unsure about the piano, I did'nt want it to overpower the other instruments, I just wanted it barley audible but not so much that the listener had to stain their ear to hear it. Guess I'll have it a tad louder next time.

Atom Bomb I would be more than happy to hear anyother thoughts you have on the mix. PM away

Thanks again guys
 
I think it's a bad ass song man. It's got plenty of stuff going on but so slow that when things come to a stop it drags on a little and sounds empty on the pauses. Maybe some guitar fills can fix it. It needs some soulful vocals and meaningful lyrics as well. Nice dark and gloomy rock n roll. Not too bad in my opinion :D
 
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