Critique my mix--story album song

Monkey

Cabin boy
http://www.angelfire.com/ga4/thebigsquid/songs/songs.html

Download "A Bitter Root," which right now is the only song up.

This is the last song on an album which will tell the story of the prodigal son from a parable Jesus told. In this song the runaway son has finally come home after screwing up everything and the father is throwing a party for his return. The older brother is saying how ticked he is because he's been a good boy and hasn't gotten a party, but his black sheep brother does. The father responds at the end.

This is only a demo, not a final version, but I need to learn a lot about mixing. The guitar is a Fender acoustic and I'm recording with the pickup. My voice is on a Shure SM58 mike. The mixer is a Behringer Eurorack MXB1002, a little 10-channel job, and I ran it into my cheap built-in sound card and recorded in a program called Multiquence, just a straight one-shot "live" recording. I hope to get a better computer and sound card soon but I don't think that's the primary issue on this recording.

One thing I could use suggestions on is EQing...
 
nice song.. it sounds like you need a pop screen.. are you holding the mic? I thought I heard a bump.. I have no suggestions other than try a different panning.. It doesn't sound right split up like that.. maybe it's just a preference, but I think it would sound better if the vocals came out of both speakers.. a little reverb and compression on them wouldn't hurt..

I liked the song..
 
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