Broken Love (Another Messy Demo For Yeah)

AaronChapman

New member
The recording is pretty dang cooked (some areas on purpose to mask greater imperfections lol) and there's bad fret buzz. Nonetheless, I think the recording has some character. I'm wondering if I should add some chord changes to keep things fresh? Also, how do you all feel about the vocals? Some moments I think the the vocals are strong and then there are some words (like the first "anymore) that are a little thin. I was trying to get a balance of gentless and raspiness from the tune. You know, a little whiny...a little lonesome...and a little drunk. Not sure if it works. Is this a noticeable distraction or do you feel the contrast adds the desired emotion? I was thinking of getting my sister (wayyy better singer than I) to do the backup vocals at around the 2:10 mark. I was thinking adding a female voice would provide an interesting dynamic to the song. Watcha think?

Broken Love (From Demo Album "Bartender My Glass Is Half Empty) by Aaron Chap | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Lyrics: (varries a little)

Girl, I want to love you.
I try to trust yeah,
But you crazy about your broken love.

I love how you're gentle.
I love how you're kind.
But, nobody's fooled by that anger inside.

Curse it like it's over.
I don't see the closure.
I hardly even know yeah.
But, I'll be by your side.

String me all around.
Find some common ground.
Still, don't know if I belong.
I have no mind.
Anymore,

Maybe we're similar?
Maybe we got that together?
Got that together?
Anymore...
 
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Cool tune. On headphones there's a LF buildup on the accoustic guitar which is masking the vocal. The vocal could possibly use a slight hi pass as well and be brought forward a little. A female backing could work well, be worth trying anyway. There's some distortion accumulating around 1.55. If you tame the low end, it should improve the overall clarity. Nice job
 
Listening on my iPad, the vocals sound kinda muddy. If it sounds muddy on my iPad, it’d probably sound that way through my speakers, but I can’t confirm that until I listen through them.
 
I like the song a lot. Agree with the above that the vocal needs to come forward a bit. Keep at it, will love to hear it fill out.
 
My two Cents: I agree with the other posts that the distortion in the middle of the song is distracting. My ears were looking for a quiet guitar solo or some other way of providing a more natural fuzz/distortion. Perhaps a dirty sounding organ drone at low volume or some type of innocuous syth pad. Nothing dramatic but something that would take the place of the distortion. Of course, if the distortion was unintended, I'd head back to the drawing board and either cut the track again or edit out the background noise.

I'd also like to hear a cleaner guitar with less low end mud. It sounds like a pickup or perhaps a mic pointed at the sound hole. In either case, I'd be inclined to track it again or at least EQ the guitar--perhaps a cut around 220hz. I'd also like to hear less of the percussive pounding on the guitar body. I like the idea but it's a little flawed in implementation. It tends to add more mud to the mix. Perhaps a second track using the guitar as percussion might work better. Or maybe even a cajon or another type of hand drum.

Overall, though, I like the mood and character of the song. And I think it gets better towards the end when the vocal is accompanied by a second vocal or a delay coming from the left channel. You might think about working this in earlier.
 
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