Ok cool.....well lets see: There are many fronts we have to think about here.
I mean, we gotta consider the politics, the production, the fan base, the live show, the identity....just that "shabam" factor that ties everything together.
However, I'm sort of gonna omit any detailed production advice, because if the song doesn't work, it dosn't matter how well you engineer, it's still not gonna work. So I'd rather focus on the music.
So like I said, as far as first impressions go, I dig. I like to point out the strengths and the weaknesses. If I only point out the weaknesses, then you won't know what the hell to go with! Quite honestly, when it comes to these demo submissions, the production value is not as important as the actual concept of the group and its music.
First let's break down what warp tour is really saying in thier rules: (Bare with me, I've never seen you guys live, so some of this is stuff I'm just putting out there.)
also, keep in mind that I'm a douchebag just like anyone else. except this douchebag has been around the block for a little while now. 
Musicianship- You have to be confident on stage. A crowd of people is comparable to a dog. They can tell if you're afraid or not. So if you want to impress on the stage, the live show has to come off dominant. You need impressional value. So if you're fucking up your guitar playing, people tell if somethings up.
Luckly, they are not industry professionals, so you can get away with a lot of stuff just as long as you keep playing and with high energy.
Remember, you're going to be auditioning for some of the most desensitized bastards you'll ever meet in this industry.
crowd support- In the old days, you could kind of get by without this. These days, not anymore. If you can't turn on the crowd and get peanuts out of them, that's gonna hurt you really bad. Warp Tour wants bands that will attract business.
The idea of warp tour is to attract the best unsigned talent they can find. So you have to give them a reason to be " the best unsigned talent" they can find.
There are situations where the talent reps are going to say "this shit will never work...it'll never sell", but just because the crowd loved it, they went with it. So get the crowd to love you and you're gonna look very good. But you need to be more confident than the most confident asshole in that crowd. Scope out the trendsetters and hit them first.
originality- that's a given. that's where alot of people fall short these days. There's gonna be so much regurgitated shit, that if you're caught doing the same thing, you've just shot yourself in the foot and you got no ground to stand on.
Kind of like that movie, "Bring it On", where the other team did the same routine. The same applies here. Don't get caught sounding like everyone else, and yes, you can do little things to felp you stand out a little more.
live energy- From all the live shows I've ever seen, I'd say this is probably the best example of a life line. You coudlnt imagine all the *shitty* music that I've heard that actually made the crowd beg for more!
All because the energy level was fucking amazing. Especially in this punk/hardcore/emo/thrash/spazcore/metal whatever era.
So if you do end up sucking live, then at least put every ounce of your being into that shitty performance.
Now, on to the critique (strictly the music):
Keep in mind that whatever I say can be complete bullshit, it's hit or miss in this business.
The Good:
The song seems to have a good tempo right off the bat. The performance seems to have good energy. If it was any other style of rock, I would of suggested tempo editing, but not this type of music.
I can tell you guys worked out the song form a bit, cause the song tells me it's 3 and a half minutes, but it feels short and to the point.
The vocals are a little hard to make out, but are high energy. I dig that.
For the genre of music, for the most part, I can indentify that this is rooted well within it's genre.
The Ugly:
The part that nobody likes to hear, but of course, needs to be said.
The music is missing something in a big way.
The drums kick in, thats cool, guitars assault you with some standard riffage, the voice starts right off the bat, but something is missing.
It's the type of song that if you where in the postion of the warp tour talent rep, you'd get into, but then you'd tell youself, "I dig it, but I can't do anything with this, it sounds too much like *something else*"
Or how I've been told plenty of times, "your best is not good enough". That's a big ouch. But that statement is rhetorical, cause *anybody's* best can be good enough, if they know what to look for.
The bands we like are instantly distinguishable, be it the voice, the guitar play, the drums, the song arrangments, the key you choose to write your songs in, tempo...whatever. They have that undeniable feel for thier specific style of music. The musical indentity is a reflection of your
confidence and your
experience.
For example, Rancid has thier sound. Less than Jake has thier sound. My Chemical Romance, as much as I hate that band, they have things that are unique to them, but in a big way.
So in my opinion, something has to be done to let this song stick out more. Not a complete overhall, just a little something. But think big! Think loud noises! Think dynamics! Think about what's exciting to you as a fan of music, and then over emphasize it!
Oh I dunno, maybe something in the hook? perhaps introducing a certain cool guitar riff into a certain part of the song?
You can also use a key change during your bridge to enhance the tension. So if you're playing in one key during your verses and choruses, and you suddenly bring it up on the guitar neck to a higher key, people are like "whoa!".
I wish I could be specific, but that's such a personal taste thing. Plus I learned that the hard way from all the bands Ive produced. So don't be afraid to sit down with your song and tear it apart if you have to.
I'll leave it at that so you can ask me questions or give me feedback so I don't end up talking too much.
