Is this ballad better than average? Feedback (and singer) needed!

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Stoertebeker

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Is this ballad better than average? Feedback (and singer) needed! [Added rockversion]

Another rough sketch of a ballad I'm working on. In it's current form its supposed to be a duet between piano and vocals. As I haven't found a singer yet, I replaced the vocals by violin.

duet

[NEW] poprock-version

Maybe you can help me make up my mind, because I'm not sure about the following aspects of the piece:

1. Quality: Do you think the musical ideas I've come up with are better than mediocre and bear some orginality?

2. Songcharacter: Would you say, that this works as a duett? Or should I add some orchestra-parts, or even introduce a Band (Bass, Drums, Guitar,...)

3. Plagiarism: Does anything of it sound already familiar to you?

Thanks for your help

Stoertebeker
 
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You say this is a ballad (a story told in song)? I really don't hear a ballad when I listen to this, mainly because music alone without lyrics does not tell a story, at least in the strict sense of what a ballad is typically. If I try to imagine lyrics in place of the violin, I can't seem to do it comfortably.

The music does move me and creates a sort of reflective mood and feeling: It is a beautiful piece. I wouldn't say it is mediocre, better than that. Original? Not really original, meaning it does not seem much different than say a soundtrack to a drama movie, something like that.

I am not a music major, so take it with a grain of salt.
 
I would definitely record it with bass, drums, guitars, strings, etc.
With proper arrangement it could be really good song. Vocals have to be good too! Try to vary on dynamics as well.
Only thing you need to do after recording is experiment with different combination of instruments.
I’m looking forward to hear you next version because I write ballads too.
sikter
 
Stoertebeker said:
1. Quality: Do you think the musical ideas I've come up with are better than mediocre and bear some orginality?
Click to expand...
First, this is much better than mediocre - much better. Originality - yes. although it sounds familiar and "comforting" because of that, it also sounds fresh and new (no other songs jumping out when I hear it). That being said, I'm sure someone could come up with comments where it sounds like something they've heard before...
Stoertebeker said:
2. Songcharacter: Would you say, that this works as a duett? Or should I add some orchestra-parts, or even introduce a Band (Bass, Drums, Guitar,...)
Click to expand...
I would start as a duet and see how that turns out - once you get a vocalist. I would also do another version for the challenge of seeing how you are as an arranger or producer - would be fun too I'm sure.
Stoertebeker said:
3. Plagiarism: Does anything of it sound already familiar to you?
Click to expand...
Nope - but like I said, someone else might find some similarities with other tunes.....
Nice violin playing - love the vibrato.....
 
@sikter: This is how it might sound as a pop/rock version. I increased the tempo by around 30 bpm and changed the arrangement to a more band-oriented one. You have to imagine the vocals, though:

poprock-version
 
Sped up it reminds me a bit of Classical Gas.
Ido's assessment is pretty much spot on & Sikter amplifies this.
Keep working on it & decide what suits YOU best.
 
Hm,
Your new pop version is definitely not rock-ballad. In my opinion there is great difference in between those two genres.
You could use this idea to make both of them but I would give a first shot to rock ballad.
In that case you don’t need to speed up the tempo.
You need powerful drum sound in chorus. It’s necessarily to “hire” good rock singer.
You can still use your piano in verses. Try to use your violin too. It’s great and just need to put it in right time in your song. Dynamics are important for finale result.

I can hear you are using midi. If you don’t have equipment to record real guitars there are many guitar players here who would like to collaborate on this one.
 
Thank you all for your comments. Instead of going for the a standard band-like instrumentation I gave the symphonic approach a try (once more ;-). And I'm surprised how deeply an orchestra can enhance the emotional impact of certain parts. For my taste this is the best solution:

symphonic version

What's new: More sophisticated piano playing, added symphonic passages, worked out a vocal-line (played by violin)



PS: If anyone out there wants to sing this tune, you're welcome! Don't hesitate to contact me. I'm desperatly looking for a singer.
 
To me, the symphonic version is a hundred times better than the pop-rock version. It sounds beautiful, like the theme to a sad film.

The pop-rock one was OK, but was more Hill St Bluesy.

Feel free to ignore my nonsense.
 
As Rick mentioned: To make it a ballad the song needs a good set of lyrics. Well, I haven't a clue yet what to write about.

Do you associate anything lyrical to my music when listening? What theme would you consider appropriate given the mood of the songversion of your choice?

I'm sure that for example the two "symphonic outbursts" in the newest version could be taken advantage of lyrically but the fitting topic has still to be found.
 
I like the original version best I think, but the symphonic version is a close 2nd. I dont like the pop version much but that is just my opinion.

I would try to sing on this but I have no ideas of where you are going with this song for lyrics or "feel". Plus with the symphnic version, it seems its much more suited for a good instrumental. If it had a different structure, more like the original version, it may be better suited for vocals ;)
 
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