Arthur (The Urban Legend)

Mr Clean

Mr Clean

AKA Teddy Wong
After a long time away from writing and recording (been in a busy band for a few years) I made a promise to myself, this year, to get back to it.

Having a few hours spare today, I wrote and recorded this little tune. It's an alternate take on bullying, from the perspective of the bully (or an observer of the bullying). Most of it is true, from childhood memories of several people who were disliked and the end is fiction.

The vocals are very sloppy as I have a cold and my voice is shot at the minute so I'll be re-doing them sometime in the future. The four to the floor drums will most likely be changed as well, although I kind of like them with the song. Keeps it pumping along.

All comments on all things accepted and appreciated.

Cheers

 
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It's quite a fun track this, reminds me of the stuff on the radio when I was a kid. I don't see a great lot up with the overall mix, it has a pleasant, spaciousness to it, the bass seems a bit light, though I appreciate a clonking bottom end is not for this kind of track. Its seems pretty tight and the vocals are not bad considering you say you have a cold. Thanks for the listen.

Tim
 
Cheers for listening and the comments Tim. Much appreciated.

RE: The bass, I did try it with a picked bass but it was a bit too twangy. So I played it with my thumb in the end and got a sound closer to what I wanted.

Cheers
 
Nice job! Good sounding mix--I love the guitars. And you're right, the drums really keep it pumping along.
 
Got kind of a Herman's Hermits sound to it. A bit like early Kinks too.

Kind of a thin mix by modern standards. Like Phrasemaker said, the bass is really lite.

The 'oooohs' are pretty loud after the intro. They're also much wetter than the other tracks. There's a little guitar on the right at 2:28 that is real loud too.

I liked the distorted rhythm guitar sound. Nice retro sound.

Some pitchy vocals. Particularly early in the song.

Personal taste thing - I don't like the wide lead vocals on a song like this. I'd keep the lead vocal tracks panned down the center. No stereo reverbs or delays either. Just me though.

The drums are mostly snare. I'm hearing a little from the kick, but it could be louder. I'm not hearing a lot of overheads. I like the snare sound. Kick sound is OK too.
 
WhiteStrat said:
Nice job! Good sounding mix--I love the guitars. And you're right, the drums really keep it pumping along.
Click to expand...

Cheers for listening and the feedback.

TripleM said:
Got kind of a Herman's Hermits sound to it. A bit like early Kinks too.

Kind of a thin mix by modern standards. Like Phrasemaker said, the bass is really lite.

The 'oooohs' are pretty loud after the intro. They're also much wetter than the other tracks. There's a little guitar on the right at 2:28 that is real loud too.

I liked the distorted rhythm guitar sound. Nice retro sound.

Some pitchy vocals. Particularly early in the song.

Personal taste thing - I don't like the wide lead vocals on a song like this. I'd keep the lead vocal tracks panned down the center. No stereo reverbs or delays either. Just me though.

The drums are mostly snare. I'm hearing a little from the kick, but it could be louder. I'm not hearing a lot of overheads. I like the snare sound. Kick sound is OK too.
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Thanks for the feedback TripleM.

I'll have a look into the points you make tomorrow when I have the time. You've made some great points.

I struggle with stereo mixes, being deaf in one ear hinders me somewhat.
 
I like the vocals as I am a sucker for that accent. Words a bit hard to discern.

I'm intrigued by the concept as I too wrote a tune from the bully POV.

Would you post the lyric?
 
Manslick said:
I like the vocals as I am a sucker for that accent. Words a bit hard to discern.

I'm intrigued by the concept as I too wrote a tune from the bully POV.

Would you post the lyric?
Click to expand...


Lyrics

Back when we were young and life was so easy and free
There was a boy in hand me downs who was so easy to tease

Arthur used to be the boy who was always made the fool
Left out of the games we played in streets and in the school

Arthur used to say stop picking on me
I am just a normal boy like you and he
I don’t want to play your silly games today

Arthur used to chase us down the street
Size 12 shoes with size 6 feet
He was teased, never pleased, the target of dismay

Arthur used to live around the corner from my mum
He lied and cried, all the time
The object of our fun!

Tied to a tree he couldn’t run away
His parents only saw children at play
A bit of harmless fun out hanging with the gang

Used and abused for all his life
He never had a girl, no chance of a wife
There is no happy ending for this man

I saw Arthur peeping through his window
Watching people passing by the street
There goes Arthur out there chasing rainbows
There is no other quite like him to meet

Arthur lived around the corner from my dear old mum
She heard, she said, he’d lost his head,
And gone and got a gun!

Arthur lived around the corner from my dear old mum
She heard, she said, he’d died in bed
Dressed up as his mum!
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I'd be interested to hear your take on a song from the bully POV.
 
I like those lyrics a lot. My approach was a broader stroke as I tried to sum up all the bullying at once.
Yours is much more specific and intimate. I think they are touching and sad. I can’t get to the music right now. I am looking forward to a revisit later. I have some family chores to tend to tonight but I will get to this.
Thanks MC.
 
Right off the bat, the first set of "oohs" seems pretty pitchy. They match better after that.

Second mix sounds better. Lead vox are louder, and oohs are at a better level.

The drum part gets a bit tedious, especially the snare.

See, my approach to the bullying song was to have the victim take over the world with his massive brain. :D
 
Mr Clean said:
Here's a revised mix.

Click to expand...

Well, I like it, but it is a lot like The Who's "I'm a Boy". The style, arrangement, even phrasing is very similar. Not that that's a bad thing. Everything sounds like something else. It just hit me immediately. To that end, I think you'd do well by embracing the similarities and making the guitars bigger. The drums dominate the mix. It pains me to say it, but they're too out front. Bigger guitars man. Rock it up. :D

And that's not really "four on the floor" drumming. What you have is loosely referred to as "turning the beat around" (not the Gloria Estefan song) as in the snare leads the way on the four beats with the kick filling in the "ands", like 1-2-3-and-4-and.......while true "four on the floor" has the kick thumping out 1-2-3-4 with a snare beat on the 2 and 4. That's my understanding anyway. I'm probably wrong. I play drums but really don't know much about beats or terminology.
 
Cheers for listening and the comment. I'll be re-doing all the vocals when I'm rid of this cold so a bit of off pitch doesn't concern me too much.

As for the drums, I can't play the damn things and I'm new to programming them with midi, so it's a learning curve for me. I do appreciate that they are a little monotonous. Something I would like to fix ;)
 
Greg_L said:
Well, I like it, but it is a lot like The Who's "I'm a Boy". The style, arrangement, even phrasing is very similar. Not that that's a bad thing. Everything sounds like something else. It just hit me immediately. To that end, I think you'd do well by embracing the similarities and making the guitars bigger. The drums dominate the mix. It pains me to say it, but they're too out front. Bigger guitars man. Rock it up. :D

And that's not really "four on the floor" drumming. What you have is loosely referred to as "turning the beat around" (not the Gloria Estefan song) as in the snare leads the way on the four beats with the kick filling in the "ands", like 1-2-3-and-4-and.......while true "four on the floor" has the kick thumping out 1-2-3-4 with a snare beat on the 2 and 4. That's my understanding anyway. I'm probably wrong. I play drums but really don't know much about beats or terminology.
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Thanks for listening Greg. Glad you like it. As I explained above, I'm no drummer and there in lies the problem with the drums. I'm learning though, I can't run before walking ;)

The Who are my favourite band in the world, closely followed by The Kinks, and I've been listening to a lot of The Kinks lately which is where I think most of the song influence comes from. The only problem I have with 'rockin it up' is I only have an acoustic guitar at the minute, all the guitar on the track is the same acoustic, mic'd for acoustic and plugged through amplitude for the rest. I've kept it low because it starts to sound a bit pants as it gets louder. I will take everything said on board and have a play around though.

Cheers again.
 
Mr Clean said:
Thanks for listening Greg. Glad you like it. As i explained above, I'm no drummer and there in lies the problem with the drums. I'm learning though, I can't run before walking ;)

The Who are my favourite band in the world, closely followed by The Kinks, and I've been listening to a lot of The Kinks lately which is where I think most of the song influence comes from. The only problem I have with 'rockin it up' is I only have an acoustic guitar at the minute, all the guitar on the track is the same acoustic, mic for acoustic and plugged through amplitude for the rest. I've kept it low because it starts to sound a bit pants as it gets louder. I will take everything said on board and have a play around though.

Cheers again.
Click to expand...

Listen to "I'm a Boy" and see if you hear the similarities. Again, that's not a bad thing, but it's there. I actually think that's a cool thing. Sounding like vintage Who is a plus in my book.

The drums are fine dude. The pattern is fine. It doesn't need fills and shit. Just drop em down some.
 
I've sorted the first 'ooh' and took the drums down a touch. I've listened to this tune too much for today though so I'll leave it for now and have a fresh look tomorrow with a fresh ear.



I get the 'I'm A Boy' likeness, it wasn't intentional though. Never a bad thing to have an influence from such a great band, but the vocal is a direct Ray Davies rip off. That was intentional ;)
 
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