Another Tune I'm working on

vestast

vestast

Gassy Member
Hey everyone.

Here is another tune that I'm working on. Tracked and Mixed on my fw-1884 with Cubase SX. I'm playing the gtr and my buddy wrote and sang it.

There's some clipping going on with the vocals on the outro so I'm going to have to redoo that...

Any comments are appreciated !



P.S - If anyone is interested I have another one that I posted on the weekend at
 
Listened to them both. Much - I mean, hugely much - preferred Gimme The Night. Love that groove - the guitar playing is delicious. I wonder if there's scope for a little more percussion, or something to build the rhythm a little more - the soft guitar that sounded almost like it had nylon strings filled out the sound but didn't add much to the rhythm. Would love to hear a bit more of that Steely Dan (as in Do It Again) type percussion on it.

It could do with some vocal harmonies - something coming in and out to bring more variety. But it was really good, played it twice, made me smile. (My partner came up the stairs as it was playing and said something about it reminded her of Foreigner as she came within earshot. The vocal I'd guess.)

Great stuff - thanks :)
 
Thanks Garry. Appreciate the honest opinion.

Can I ask if it's just that you liked Gimme the night that much more, or is Price you pay that bad ? :)

Thanks again Garry.
 
caveat - I've had a bellyfull of red wine and am liable to be over honest, but...

I really liked Gimme The Night. I just love that kind of stuff and on the second listening some of those lead guitar breaks were beautiful. I just reread my first post and haven't changed my view. With more percussion and some harmony there's a real winner there.

(Interesting story. I'm going through the frustrating process of reassembling a band. I spoke to a guitarist yesterday, who makes his living teaching "media assembled" bands to play, he's 45, I'm 43. He asked "which direction are you moving in, are you getting more into funk?" Answer Yes, then he said "Yeah everybody gets funkier as they get older")

Back to the topic - maybe it's a genre thing, but I thought Price You Pay was just..there's nothing there that hasn't been done better before. Also the vocals sounded between a quarter and an eight flat to me - I actually like things to be slightly out of tune but if he'd been sharp it would have given it more life.

I hate to be critical - my stuff ain't worth much at the moment - but I'm beginning to realise that you're defined as much by the stuff you chuck away as by the things you keep. I write (books, not music!) for a living and because I've been doing it so long am a brutal self editor; if things I write don't immediately get the reaction I want then I don't hesitate to kill / rewrite them. But there is a strong artistic argument for doing exactly the opposite, and just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean a thing in the broader scheme.

End of drunken ramble.
 
Garry - Your honesty is....well.....Honestly Appreciated ! :)

I'm soaking it all in...And you are right, it is nothing that hasn't been done before. It is a very simple song that needs a lot more work if it's going to be anything at all. I do like the story line ( a women cheating on her husband) cause it is something that my family is experiencing right now, and I sorta like the simplicity of the guitar parts..

I'm going to bring your comments to my buddy about the percussion and the harmonies and maybe we can go with something like that.

Thank you very much for taking the time to give me an Honest critique !

Dave
 
Hey man, I dug "Gimme the Night." Reminded kind of the Beegee's (sp?), haha. I don't know if that's a good comparison for you or not, but it was a good song. I thought everything was pretty tight, the vocals and harmonies were definately right on target. The guitar playing was smooooth. Did you do this with a drum machine? I'm definately gonna get a real drum machine soon. Well, I already own one but it's more for electronica/techno music as it doesn't have any real sampled drums.
 
Hey Acidbandit. The drums were done with some samples in Acid 3.0. I've recently bought the discrete drums series II to use right in Cubase rather than having to do all the drum work in Acid and then import it into Cubase.

Thanks for the listen :)
 
Vestast,

I checked out "Price you Pay"

That's a great pop tune you put together there!

I really liked the drum sound and driving bass play in it. The guitar tone was sweet and natural too!

The vocals sounded a bit too dry and intimate like you were eating the mic too much and creating too much proximity effect from the effect.

Try re-doing the vocal by stepping back a good few inches from the mic and adding some backing vocals to fatten up the presentation in the chorus and progressively into the song as it develops.

You've got a good voice but it sounds like you are holding back and singing too quietly. Step back more and belt it out if you can. I think you'll like the difference.

Beyond that, maybe take a bit of the bass's mid range out of it and bring it back in the mix about a db and you'll have a very competent mix from this,

Cheers! :)
 
Hey thanks for checking out the tune Ghost. I appreciate the comments.

I agree with you on the vocal and bass parts. I was actually listening to it in the car today and was thinking that the bass had too much mids in it.

The vocals are actually sung by my buddy. That was a scratch track and so far we haven't had a chance to work on retracking it.

Guitar was a tele. I love that guitar ! :)

Anyway thanks again for taking the time to comment. I'll be using your suggestions !

Dave
 
Hey Guys - 103 views and 3 comments..

If anyone else has a chance to make any comments on either song that'd be great as I'll have to take them off my little webspace soon..

Thanks again !

Dave
 
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