Been meaning to listen to this for ages, but just not had time over the last few weeks. It's got a real new wave feel to it - I love that era of indie as at it's best it creates a real mood that resonates with me. I also like how there's always a balance between sugar and rawness (thinking about bands like the wedding present, echo and the bunnymen etc.) and I think that with retracking on the drums and vocals you could hit that sweet spot.
All the elements are there and the songs is good, just needs a little work. I don't think the vocals are too far off - they fit the song stylistically, just need to be a little stronger/more authoritative. If you want me to have a go at rebuilding the drums for you, let me know - they won't be real ones, but I think I could probably get something with a little more presence for you