I am not sure how to reply to this question. The mix to me lacks a space and 'glue' that makes it feel like a live experience. Sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear. But then again, this is not my genre.
I am likely not the best guy to offer opinion here so don't take it to heart. I am likely wrong.
I dig the tune! Again, not my thing but I like it. 
I would have to go back 30 years ago to criticize my first mix. The technology was not so good for home recording and I was young and inexperienced.
Each and every project I work on get's easier and better. Time and experience has a way of evolving what we do. It all worth the time to me.
To make this a ready for radio mix, I would suggest a bunch more work with the mix. Again, I might just be an asshole..
PC Win7-64-24G i7-4790k/Cubase 9 Pro 64-bit/2-Steinberg UR824's/ADAM A7x/Event TR8/SS Trigger Plat Deluxe/Melodyne 4 Studio/Other things that don't mean anything if a client shows up not knowing what it wants.
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