You can't come back written by Ellise Kibel Please give me feedback on my first song
- Thread starter ellisek
- Start date
Armistice
Son of Yoda
What do you think of it?
Seems to me like you're concentrating on the "torch song" notes to the detriment of some of the lower pitch, lower volume passing notes. Can you not hear these odd various pitch issues yourself? I'm guessing you can't remove the piano and hear your voice unaccompanied, but you'd see what I mean if you could.
And it's been recorded in less than perfect circumstances with a distant voice and a distant piano in an echoey space - so sonically, it's pretty awful to listen to. But hey, you've got a YouTube video in which you look deep and wistful and it has nice accompanying text effects.
I don't mean to be harsh - you probably have the makings of a good singer for this style of music - your vocal tone is pleasant, and the song's OK if you like that sort of stuff - but this presentation doesn't do you any favours - so I'd suggest as a next step you consider finding someone to record you a quality piano backing track, sing against it properly into a real microphone with multiple takes until you have one good take, or a composite that's good enough, THEN mime against it in front of the shower curtain with the wistful sad face. That's how videos are done - they're not live.
It would take so little to get from where you are now with this video, to something more professional. Cultivate the acquaintance of some people who can record - Melbourne's the music capital of Australia - they can't be too hard to find, it's so easy these days.
Keep it up Ellise. Don't take what I've said negatively - I applaud your keenness to get out there - confidence is a good thing
Seems to me like you're concentrating on the "torch song" notes to the detriment of some of the lower pitch, lower volume passing notes. Can you not hear these odd various pitch issues yourself? I'm guessing you can't remove the piano and hear your voice unaccompanied, but you'd see what I mean if you could.
And it's been recorded in less than perfect circumstances with a distant voice and a distant piano in an echoey space - so sonically, it's pretty awful to listen to. But hey, you've got a YouTube video in which you look deep and wistful and it has nice accompanying text effects.
I don't mean to be harsh - you probably have the makings of a good singer for this style of music - your vocal tone is pleasant, and the song's OK if you like that sort of stuff - but this presentation doesn't do you any favours - so I'd suggest as a next step you consider finding someone to record you a quality piano backing track, sing against it properly into a real microphone with multiple takes until you have one good take, or a composite that's good enough, THEN mime against it in front of the shower curtain with the wistful sad face. That's how videos are done - they're not live.
It would take so little to get from where you are now with this video, to something more professional. Cultivate the acquaintance of some people who can record - Melbourne's the music capital of Australia - they can't be too hard to find, it's so easy these days.
Keep it up Ellise. Don't take what I've said negatively - I applaud your keenness to get out there - confidence is a good thing