just need to vent, divorce etc(VERY long post, beware but worth it)

CrowsofFritz said:
Hey man! Glad to see you’re still here. Sorry to see some others gone. Greg banned and I haven’t seen heatmiser posting. AFAIK, he was also in a bad situation last time I talked to him a couple years ago. Anyone know if he’s okay?
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Don't know about heat - he seems to have slipped off the radar - he signed up at the other place and posted right at the start, but that was a year ago now. Feb 2017 - last active. Hopefully he's OK! Always liked heat's stuff.
 
miroslav said:
Well...I made it through most of that first post...and yeah, pretty heavy shit.
That said...you come to a point where you just cut loose and move on. Yeah, I know, the kids are always the bond, but still, mentally and emotionally you have to cut free and move on.

This is why I stayed single after my first ex, which only last about 2 years total. I knew within the first 6 months that I had to cut loose from her and that it was a mistake marrying her...though I even gave it a second try during our separation, just to be sure I was being as fair as possible...but I took steps to get the legal process going anyway, as I was sure it would end up in a final split...which it did, and we split pretty much in agreement, so there wasn't any lasting hatred, and no children, but that experience made me see just how easy it is to get "trapped" in a situation that goes from good to bad and then proceeds to get uglier, and next thing you know, you spent 20 years with someone you no longer even like, never mind love.
I was lucky to get out quick and clean.
So it's now been 30 years, and I still have no desire to be legally entangled with anyone....and I'm still constantly being coaxed about "finding someone to settle down with" by friends and family. :facepalm:

I know that not all relationships are like that, and some are quite good...but most are pretty draining even if you manage to hang on to some kind of "love", and very often it's more about forced "duty" and "responsibility" that keeps it all together....but boy, that can be a pretty dismal environment to live in, never mind to try and be creative on any level as a musician.

So good luck...and don't beat yourself up. Cut loose as clean as you can...and make her just someone you use to know.
Don't even hate her...'cuz that makes you still involved emotionally. Just clear her out of your mind and move on.
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Yo miro. Hi from the kids... ;)
 
I waited a bit of time before commenting, cool down period,

When my first wife left many many years ago leaving me in a lot of debt at the time (I was a lowly paid full time musician), I still had a large feeling of relief as she walked out the door, a feeling that a new chapter of my life was about to start and I was fee to decide my own destiny. Its what you do with these situations that decides if its good or bad.

Good luck I know that it's not easy.

Alan.
 
miroslav said:
Hey...where you been lately?
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Oh you know, here and there. I really want to get my post count up to 10,000 as a personal achievement so I'm still here every now and then.

Will get back to you on the Carol Ann profile thing - not near the machine for a day or two... I think it's Carol-Ann OD2 if that makes sense, from a bit of googling, but I'm not sure what it says in the machine itself.
 
Armistice said:
Will get back to you on the Carol Ann profile thing - not near the machine for a day or two... I think it's Carol-Ann OD2 if that makes sense, from a bit of googling, but I'm not sure what it says in the machine itself.
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Most likely...those are his staple, and earliest, best known models....though he's talking about departing from them as his "baseline" and starting a new line soon, something that will have a combination OD + ? vibe to it.
 
WhinyLittleRunt said:
She came from a pretty broken family but a grandmother who was her guardian and did everything for her. Her mom died when she was a pre-teen. She had depression and other small abandonment issues. But she was almost like my perfect match from the start. .
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Sounds like you guys were perfect for each other. I'm a little surprised it didn't work out. Good luck with your next girlfriend, but may I suggest finding someone the opposite of the last one, even if you guys seem like a perfect match at first? :laughings:
 
ez_willis said:
Sounds like you guys were perfect for each other. I'm a little surprised it didn't work out. Good luck with your next girlfriend, but may I suggest finding someone the opposite of the last one, even if you guys seem like a perfect match at first? :laughings:
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I think the way I segued into that wasn't the best... I honestly didn't know anything about her family history in the very beginning. Why should I? She enjoyed being with me, I enjoyed being with her. We were both clearly in a position in our lives that we wanted each other. I just never expected what happened to happen.. ever.
 
WhinyLittleRunt said:
I think the way I segued into that wasn't the best... I honestly didn't know anything about her family history in the very beginning. .
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Well that changes my position. I'm gonna tell you what I have told all my friends that have went through something similar. A younger tighter vaj will fix everything in your life. lol
 
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