Jokes!!
- Thread starter elbandito
- Start date
Anticleon
Member
Three men and a pretty young girl were traveling in a train compartment.
After some time all the four passengers made friends with each other and started conversing.
The men complimented her about her pretty looks!
Suddenly, the young girl said, "If each one of you gentlemen will give me £1.00, I will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by the young girl, all pulled a coin each out of their wallets, and handed
over the money to her.
The girl then pulled her dress up to her knees and showed her legs to them.
The young girl then smiled at them and said, "If each one of you gentlemen will give me £10.00, I'll show you my thighs."
The men looked at each other and nodded. Then they all pulled out a ten pound note each, out of their wallets and handed over the money to her.
The girl pulled up her dress all the way up to her thighs and let them have a good look at them.
As the conversation continued, the young girl said, "If each one of you gentlemen will give me £100/-, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three looked at each other and nodded. They then took out £100 each out of their wallets and handed over the money to her.
The girl then pointed her finger at an outside building they were passing, and said,
"See that building there. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
After some time all the four passengers made friends with each other and started conversing.
The men complimented her about her pretty looks!
Suddenly, the young girl said, "If each one of you gentlemen will give me £1.00, I will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by the young girl, all pulled a coin each out of their wallets, and handed
over the money to her.
The girl then pulled her dress up to her knees and showed her legs to them.
The young girl then smiled at them and said, "If each one of you gentlemen will give me £10.00, I'll show you my thighs."
The men looked at each other and nodded. Then they all pulled out a ten pound note each, out of their wallets and handed over the money to her.
The girl pulled up her dress all the way up to her thighs and let them have a good look at them.
As the conversation continued, the young girl said, "If each one of you gentlemen will give me £100/-, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three looked at each other and nodded. They then took out £100 each out of their wallets and handed over the money to her.
The girl then pointed her finger at an outside building they were passing, and said,
"See that building there. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
BroKen_H
Re-member
Halloween has come and gone...that time of year when we prepare our children with the skills set* to rob convenience stores and possibly go on to banks or jewelry stores...or maybe even a career as a politician!
*disguise yourself as something or someone you are not, and go ask for things that you have not earned, to use for your own benefit--with the implied threat of dire repercussions
*disguise yourself as something or someone you are not, and go ask for things that you have not earned, to use for your own benefit--with the implied threat of dire repercussions
BroKen_H
Re-member
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'You haven't touched your food. What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered --
'THE TEETH.'
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'You haven't touched your food. What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered --
'THE TEETH.'
dachay2tnr
One Hit Wonder
Once again discrimination rears its ugly head! Will it ever end?
I like it,, Hell I even tried it and got some mileage off it :>)What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
Synonym rolls!
(Does the smiley make it funny, even though it isn't?)
Anticleon
Member
This little Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look.
> >
> >
> >> "Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"
> >
> >
> >> She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."
> >
> >
> >> Then he asked, "Why is my older sister named Cornflower?"
> >
> >
> >> She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."
> >
> >
> >> "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"
> >
> >
> >> "Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."
> >
> >
> >> Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son:
> >
> >
> >> "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious about names??"
> >
> >
> >> "Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"
> >
> >
> >> She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."
> >
> >
> >> Then he asked, "Why is my older sister named Cornflower?"
> >
> >
> >> She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."
> >
> >
> >> "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"
> >
> >
> >> "Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."
> >
> >
> >> Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son:
> >
> >
> >> "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious about names??"
BroKen_H
Re-member
What's the difference between a savings bond and a drummer?
The savings bod will eventually mature and make money.
What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordion?
You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
What's the difference between a large pizza and a professional trumpet player?
The large pizza can actually feed a family of four.
What's the difference between a good joke and what I just did there?
The savings bod will eventually mature and make money.
What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordion?
You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.
What's the difference between a large pizza and a professional trumpet player?
The large pizza can actually feed a family of four.
What's the difference between a good joke and what I just did there?