B.B. Behrlari Triple-Gain-stage Tube Exciter

C

chessrock

Banned
Makes all of your harsh digital-sounding mixes sound smoooooove like butta.

Incorporates patented Triple-stage tube excitement techniques developed by legendary Toob Efficienato, Crawdad.

"Crawdad is truly the Stephen Paul of Triple-Toob Exciters," Raves Mix Magazine.

You will listen to your mixes and will not believe your ears at their sheer toobness and excitedness.

Stage I Incorporates Behringer's legendary digital tube emulation circuitry. This tube emulation is then routed to a real, genuine Bellari tube for even greater warmth, before it becomes immersed in the joy and excitement of a real Bellari exciter. Excited yet?! Well you're REALLY going to be excited when we tell you about the second exciter phase, compliments of the BBE Sonic Maximizer technology at the end of the chain ! ! !

Order yours now. Operators are standing by:

1-800-GET-3XTOOB
 
I tried to order but they were outta of them:rolleyes: ..But they still had the Pocket Fisherman got two of them:p Im gonna try again later:D



Don
 
:D:D:D:D:D:D
I'll take two! You can run them in series right? And while we're at it, why not dolby-encode everything and not decodeit? That would add the last bit of "crispness" we all desire. :D

BTW chessrock, I'll be getting started on that project we talked about this weekend so you'll be hearing from me soon. ;)
 
My God!

Chessrock--I've been rolling on the floor for about ten minutes, so I'm gonna try to respond.

Listen folks. We are very "excited" about the BBTTE, as Chess has aptly named it. The next version will definitely include Lt. Bobs dolby encode algorithms, however the current version is more than capable of making tracks literally leap from the speakers (as well as making listeners leap from tall buildings). I won't review the BBTTE myself, lest I be accused of spamming the board, but I will say this. We A/B'd our unit with a wall of 2000 tweeters being pushed by over 10,000 watts. We ran our unit through some NS 10's and everyone in the room agreed that we pushed more excitement through those Yamaha's compared to the tweeter array. Indeed, the "warmth" was warm and the excitement was definitely full of 2nd order harmonics. All I can say is to imagine a telecaster with a microphonic pickup facing a 100 watt marshall with everything on 11, and you'll get an idea of what the BBTTE can do for your mixes.

The first 20, 000 units will be signed by Chessrock and, yours truly. These will definitely become collectors items, as The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has already ordered a pair.

By the way, Chessrock--what will the street price be? I know the list seems steep at $2495, but I assume there will be deep discounts to Homerecording members?
 
And if you act now, crawdad will throw in, absolutely free!! a brand new pair of his special designed headphones made from two piezo tweeters. That's really the only way to truly appreciate what the BBTTE can do!
 
Re: My God!

crawdad said:
By the way, Chessrock--what will the street price be? I know the list seems steep at $2495, but I assume there will be deep discounts to Homerecording members?
Click to expand...

I'm assuming we'll just take the median price of everything Fletcher is selling at Mercenary, and that'll be a pretty steep discount for the home recer's.

The thing that really seems to be driving up the cost is the every-escalating testing process. We're trying to find the ideal means of testing the exciters. You see, we were really pleased with the initial tests utilizing the 2,000 tweaters that you so amply described.

But we've decided it's not enough. We need to take this testing to the next level.

Phase II of the testing process has already begun with the close micing of sharp objects being ran across various surfaces: chalkboards, nail files, etc. We also recorded samples of other high-end emmitting devices, namely the 15-year old breaks on my Toyota Tercell, a dog whistle, standard issue fire and car alarms, voiceovers of Fran Drescher, and the rusted, squeeky door to my basement.

We plan to take these samples, bypass the tubes and go straight to the three-stage exciters.

In order to get an idea of how big a sound we can get, we plan to pump all of these samples through a 70-foot high Marshall stack in an enclosed arena. We're curious to see what kind of effect the TTE stage will have on various animals, so we included a pack of wolf hounds and doberman pinchers amongst the subjects. The human subjects will be very demographically diverse.

We're very interested in hearing it's effect on various accoustic surfaces, so we will be enclosing the speakers and the subjects within a gigantic wall of glass.

I apologize for the delays in the release, but we're really anxious to get Phase II of the exciter testing underway. I already sent a beta version to Harvey, and Fletcher seems to be chomping at the bit to add it to his arsenal, but he's haggling with me on the price. He was mentioning something along the lines of a barter deal involving cow maneur fertilizer? Not sure what he meant, but I am sure he's going to be thrilled when he hears it. It's all very exciting, and I know you're all going to love it!
 
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Why Its So Damn Good

Chessrock--I think its important to educate our potential clients on the extreme value of the BBTTE system. As you know, there are so many factors that have a bearing on the outcome of recorded audio, that the average engineer can become overwhelmed by the choices and the method of achieving sonic needs vs. budget considerations.

The BBTTE can be considered the sonic leveler, the Swiss Army knife of the audio pro. It has a profound and dramatic effect with whatever it is interfaced with.

I'd like to take just a moment and give you some examples. In a blind listening test, which took place at a New York mastering house, we ran two mixes through the BBTTE. One was done with a Neve console and 2" tape, while the other was done on a tascam cassette 4 track. Amazingly, when we ran the mixes through the BBTTE, no could tell the difference!

Similarly, we A/B'd a vintage neumann U87, run through a Brent Averill pre, with an old Electrovoice mic (you know, the big chrome one everybody had in the 60's) run through a Rolls preamp. When the BBTTE was engaged, the finest mastering engineers in the world could not tell which was which!

Extrapolate what this means. Say you are comparing a Pro Tools System to a cheap soundcard and recording app that came with your PC you bought at Walmart. With the BBTTE, there is no sense in spending $30,000 on the PT rig when the Walmart package for $499 will sound JUST AS GOOD. Similarly, you found a cheap solid state Crate guitar amp, but you have your eyes on a $3500 Badcat boutique amp. Answer=BBTTE+Crate!

Need a studio mic for critical vocals? Forget all those high dollar models that get talked about on the pro forums--stuff like the Stephen Paul custom modded mics that cost a fortune. Why waste your precious income when any Radio Shack mic will give the others a run for their money--if plugged into the BBTTE!

Sure, $2495 SEEMS like a lot of money, but when you factor in what you can save by not buying all the other high end gear, its truly a bargain almost beyond belief. If you could understand the lengths Chess and Craw go to in our testing procedures, the price would seem almost like we were giving these babies away! The cost of 70 foot marshall stacks, amphitheaters, dog rental--not to mention our new $50,000 watt power amp system--well it all adds up. Plus, I have had to consult with the hearing specialists lately for some reason. Probably just the aging process. Still, when I think I'm going deaf, I just plug my hearing aid into--you guessed it--the BBTTE portable--and everything is back to vivid warm, 3D sound!

So, whether you want to warm up your digital workstation, master your finest mixes, track that "cutting" edge dog whistle or digeridoo, or just plain make your crappy equipment sound as good as the big boys in NY and LA, look no farther than the BBTTE--the answer to all your audio problems!

PS--Chess, how many orders do we HAVE so far, anyhoo? My parole officer is demading a kickback to keep me a free man. I need some bread pretty quick or I'll be doing all my sonic research in San Quentin. Send CASH ASAP!
 
I'll take two. I understand that if you bump the gain up a notch they'll rid a 300 sq. ft. area of mosquitos.
 
Just as quick as you can say "cure for the West Nile Virus!"

I think there me be industrial and medical applications for the BBTTE, once scientists have a chance to run it through its paces. Heck, one time I had a big slab of balogna I wanted sliced. I played Midnight Rambler through the BBTTE, and when I held it up to the speakers, I instantly had twelve uniform slices of lunchmeat! Just as a precaution, I've been wearing a lead lined athletic cup whenever I am "experimenting".

There's no telling how far the applications may go for this device. I know Chessrock is working on some top secret stuff right now, but he says I will have to wait until his experiments are conclusive. Such is the price of research...sigh....
 
Crawdad,

You took the words right out of my mouth.

I would like to elaborate on this idea, and point out the (rather surprizing) wonders it can actually do for your performance and songwriting; up untill now, two things generally not associated with an outboard unit.

But what we really weren't prepared for were the implications this little wonder would have from a RE-MASTERING standpoint. We're pumping whole albums through this thing, and we're honestly getting reports that people can't tell the difference between the Beatles' Rubber Soul and Andy Gibb's Shadow Dancing.

Well, Crawdad, I was going to try and keep this a secret, but I just can't help but let the cat out of the bag: This has been rumored to perk some interest from the Sony camp on a possible Michael Jackson Remaster of 2001's dissapointment Invincible . Apparently, they've already begun work, using the TTE, and most reports indicate "A very noticeable improvement."

I've got an AES/NAMM show to fly off to, and I don't want to get people too excited, so I'll just leave at that. :D
 
chessrock said:
we're honestly getting reports that people can't tell the difference between the Beatles' Rubber Soul and Andy Gibb's Shadow Dancing.

Well, Crawdad, I was going to try and keep this a secret, but I just can't help but let the cat out of the bag: This has been rumored to perk some interest from the Sony camp on a possible Michael Jackson Remaster of 2001's dissapointment Invincible . Apparently, they've already begun work, using the TTE, and most reports indicate "A very noticeable improvement."
Click to expand...

ROFLMAO!:D:D:D

Chess--I'm glad I caught you before the NAMM. Listen, some people from Bose have been poking around the BBTTE factory intimating that they'd like to use this technology in the Bose Wave Radio. I told 'em its gonna cost some big ones for the license. Its a damn good thing we encased the secret circuits in epoxy goo, too, because Behringer might try to reverse engineer the whole thing and call it the Tripe Exciter Maximizer Pro. I think thats pretty much impossible. They don't even have Radio Shack's in Germany, do they? How about China?

Meanwhile, the RAIA is leaving calls on my answering service. Seems they are really nervous. The upshot is that they think people will stop buying CD's, since the BBTTE makes anything sound as good as the next. Basically, one CD and you have whatever you want.

Oh, yes...one more thing. I'm getting some heated calls from labels wanting to remaster several divas. Hell, I offered to remaster the whole Diana Ross catalog fro free! Other prospects include Celine Dion, Helen Reddy, Donna Summer and Barbara Striesand. I'd really like to run Striesand's whole catalog through the BBTTE--maybe twice, just to make sure every ounce of her magic talent gets processed.

Just for fun, I ran Dylan's Blonde on Blonde through the thing last night. You know what I got? Barry Manilow! And to think that some people are gunshy about our list price! I guess you can lead a horse to water...

I haven't tried the box on any rap or hip hop yet, but now I am really curious.
 
News Flash!

This just came across my desk. Looks like Orkin, the extermination company, has found a use for the BBTTE: Cockroaches exposed to the sonic waves of the BBTTE DIE INSTANTLY!

Chessrock, I think we are gonna be rich. Orkin wants 4000 of these things as soon as we can make 'em! If we have to, we can blow off Grundig Masters for a while. They can wait to get theirs. :D

Craw
 
This just in on the Morning Advocate "Chef John Folse to boil crawfish using the new BBTTE!" Man, I'll bet you guys never realized the impact on modern society that this is gonna have.
 
Well, George Washington Carver had the peanut. I guess the BBTTE is our peanut!

Will be preparing the audio demo soon for this product. Stay tuned. I'm sure it will be worth the wait!
 
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
LMAO!!!!!!!!! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while. Debi and I were rolling on the floor. You did say that homerecers got an accomodation price? Also....could I use that to strip paint from my interior trim? And what finishes is it available in?
 
Exciting news!!!! I just went and listened to some horn parts I was up 'till 4:00 this morning doing on your tune, Ain't Going Back. This morning when I finished it....the sound was sorta blah and lifeless. I was too tired to continue and thought I'd fool with it today to see if I could "fix it in the mix" as the pros say. Well I couldn't believe it. After listening to the BBTTE demo.... the tracks I did last night sounded the same way! WOW! I think that your demo adjusted my neural synapses so that I'm finally hearing things clear as mother nature intended them to be. Breathlessly I dived into all my audiophile recordeings to see if it was possible.... yes!...YES! Thank you BBTTE team....my trumpet recordings sound as if the horn was sitting 2 3/4 inches from my ear. Simply unbelievable!

An unsolicited testemonial.
 
Lt. Bob said:
I think that your demo adjusted my neural synapses so that I'm finally hearing things clear as mother nature intended them to be.
Click to expand...

That's beautiful, Lt. Bob. Just beautiful. I'm going to need a kleenex before long to wipe the tears of joy from my eyes.

In fact, adjustment of neural synapses was one of our major goals we imparted upon our design team.

Crawdad, your demo was beautiful. I don't think I could say it any better than Lt. Bob. My neural synapses certainly feel as though they have altered.
 
Chessrock--Indeed, it seems as we have hit a "home run" as they say in the biz. Check out the MP3 forum. there is a big buzz going on there in reaction to the demo. Apparently, folks can't believe the BBTTE. I think some poeple don't even believe it exists!! There are some great suggestions of things we can incorporate into the product too.

I threw away all my high end gear and I'm using the BBTTE exclusively in MY studio. Its funny, I start with a country song and by the time its mastered, it sounds just like Nirvana! Or I work on a classical guitar piece and it seems to turn into an Oakridge Boys song! We may need to think about presets...
 
crawdad said:
We may need to think about presets...
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I'm right with ya on that one, Crawdad.

Our design team just finished programming on the "raucious" preset, and is now beginning work on "gnarly." The entire team fully realizes just how important the presets are going to be.

In the meantime, I have been putting on my marketing hat, throwing around some ideas for a new jingle to be included in our advertisements. I'm thinking radio spots (morning drive), movie trailers . . . the works.

Here is a link to the jingle I was working on last night. It's the very last one at the bottom, entitled BBTTE JINGLE:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=1298&alid=-1

I look forward to your input. Keep up the great work!

Chess
 
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