newbie beat makers needs critique..please

[soundboy]

could some one peep this for me. this is my first beat and all the help you can give me would be great. and dont tell my dad i posted this under his name cause he dont like me playin on his computar. If yall dont hear from me again it means he caught me and dad if you are reading this i'm sorry....

hifi

lofi

[L'espion Noir]

Good job SoundBabyBoy

[Abyyss]

haha.

using daddy's account

y don't ya get ya own?

Anyways - this beat:

I like the instruments u have chosen.

the "ooh" sound good.

the drumkit is pretty good, not sure about the hi-hats though - I think they need a better sound.

the trumpets are alright nothing special.

The beat does change which is good although the changes aren't that significant eg. just having the drums for a bit - remove that part, remove this part.

try to get more of a structure to your beat and have clear intro, verse, chorus and outro parts.

for a strong chorus just add instruments that aren't used anywhere else is a good start. add a few help chords as well perhaps to make it really stand out - the chorus needs to be the tightest part of ya entire track.

i wouldn't have the intro with the hi-hats coming in and leading it.

i would have the oohs with nothing else.

bring in the bass, then smash in with the snare. and have everything in - or you can just bring the entire drums in then and build the rest up, depends what effect you want.

i think this'd sound tight with different vocals on the chorus - maybe some "ah"s that you could play every beat or so.

This ain't bad at all for ya first beat.

Mix ain't too shabby either, could be improved but it aint bad.