"Excellent Girl" - comments welcome

[alibish]

Hi all

I've got a new song here:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/brr/singles

It's called "Excellent Girl" and it's an attempt at a love song.

I'd be very grateful for any comments or suggestions on writing, performance, mixing, etc.

Cheers

AB

[macle]

Hi alibish,
Great guitar pop. Your accent is great. Love the rhyme Morrison and worrisome. And the way you say 'crap'. The idea of the song is great, I can relate...2 stereos.
Mixwise, the guitars seem a little muddy, are you using amp modeling? The accapella parts are cool, but they show off the weakness of the reverb and maybe the dreaded autotune.

Great song!!

Macle

[Innovations]

I always worry when I say this, but.

That song is hilarious.

In tone, lyrics, phrasing it was right on with those wonderfully saccharine 'bubblegum' pop love songs of the seventies. And the lyrics wer just silly enough to let you know not to take it too seriously.

[mbuster]

Cool song. I didn't really like the guitar tone, but the ideas were good. awesome vocals, fun to listen to. Good job.

[muzeman]

Hi Alibish!

I love this stuff,great tune.
Your vocal style is the best.
The guitar melodys are really sweet.
Bass,and drums are perfect as always.

I think this differs from your other mixes in that the bass and organ are much less prominint.
It seems to be bringing the focus in on the vox and guitars.

Always a pleasure to hear your tunes,thanks,

Pete

[joro]

Hi,
Drums are buried...need air man...

where's the bass?


oh...there it is.....could use some v man....
nice little bass riffs inbetween chorus and verse and the slower part at 2:01.......

guit tone is definitely canned....but good man...could use less lows and more mids...maybe some more highs as well...

Cool lyric man....totally excellent dude!

take it easy,
Joe

[Kelly5150]

This song made me wanna go sit in a Volkswagon bus covered with peace signs and flowers and smoke a joint... hehe..

Seriously, its great song dude... a very "feel good" vibe going on.. Pop at its best..

I love your voice/accent, everytime I hear one of your songs I think of the Hobbits in The Lord of the Rings..

Nice job man, really cool song....

[Doug H]

Great song! I was too busy listening to listen close to the mix so it had to be pretty good.

[alibish]

Wow, thank you to everyone who listened and posted.

macle - yep, the guitars are all modelled. Any tips on how to reduce the mud? I had taken more lows off, but it made them sound a bit thin.

The bits where the vocals are exposed - well, it's always a big risk with my vocals. I really need to learn how to use reverb a bit better. Also, the "broken up" reverb tail at the beginning is an MP3 artifact - it isn't on the original WAV file.

And I'm afraid Autotune (or OB-Tune, anyway) is all over this track - you really wouldn't want to hear it "au naturelle".

Glad you enjoyed it. Now go remix your latest hit.

Innovations - thank you, it was meant to be funny. Honest.

I was going for a balance between "tongue in cheek" and a proper heartfelt love song. I can't write normal "I love you, you're great" songs - I just don't have it in me. This is the closest I can get...

And I tried to sing it as a kind of "pastiche" of cute pop. I tried to sing it in tune too, but you can't have everything.

mbuster - thank you for listening, glad you liked the song. I'm not very good at guitar tones, so any advice would be very helpful. Changing the tone of the guitars isn't a problem - I recorded them dry, then used plugins.

muzeman - hi Pete, great to hear from you again.

This is a bit of a departure for me - hardly any acoustics, no organ, lots of distorted guitars. From the other comments I've obviously still got some work to do on the guitars, but I'm really pleased you liked this one.

joro - thank you for listening, and I'm chuffed (= pleased) you like the lyric.

Drums louder? I swithered over that, so I'll try them with a bit more volume.

You had me worried about the bass for a minute there - then I realised you were probably talking about the first verse, which doesn't have any! Do you think it's too quiet when it does come in?

I'll try your suggestions on guitar tone - thanks for the ideas.

Kelly5150 - thank you for your kind words. Glad you got that "summer" vibe.

Doug H - thank you very much. But if you do have any thoughts on the mix (especially those pesky guitars) please let me know!

Cheers

AB

[joro]

Originally posted by alibish
joro -

You had me worried about the bass for a minute there - then I realised you were probably talking about the first verse, which doesn't have any! Do you think it's too quiet when it does come in?


AB

Yes...It was weird because I thought it would come in at least after the intro......

and yes.....the bass is a bit soft in the mix...except for when it is playing with the drums and vox alone....

you fade it out well before the outro finishes also...

personally, I think it should play all the way through....
but, that's an arrangement thing....ya know?

take it easy man,
Joe

[mbuster]

Originally posted by alibish
Changing the tone of the guitars isn't a problem - I recorded them dry, then used plugins.


AB

Ahh, there's the problem. Do you have an amplifier you like the sound of? If so, I think you'll like the results of mic'ing that bad boy much better. I know, it's not always convenient, hell, in this house I could NEVER record if mic'ing a cab was my only option. I guess what I'm getting at is that one golden rule of recording. Get the sound you're after BEFORE hitting record. Most of my guitars are run through various guitar processors/amp sims for my stuff. Finally I've learned to track them to fit in the mix. I roll off much lows before I even record. It doesn't sound as good soloed, but in the mix it fits better. If any of these options are at your disposal, I suggest trying them all out to find what works best for you.

[powderfinger]

i love the vocals.........you've got to find and amp and mic it for the guits, i think you would see a big jump in quality........what did you do for drums?........good production here

[boydrj]

Oh yes, right up my alley! I love this kind of stuff! It just sounds so damn good! Do you listen to Big Star or any of the five hundred million bands inspired by them?

Totally has that late 60's, early 70's vibe!

Can't think of a bad thing to say, I just totally love this! It ranks up there with TripleM's "Stupid Song" --- Very cool!

[alibish]

joro - thanks for the explanation. I'll turn up the bass a bit. I tend to like fading stuff in and out through the course of a track, but maybe it's a bit naff?

mbuster - thanks for the great advice. Usually I record my guitars through the Pod, so I have to choose the sound before I start. But I thought I'd try something different this time so I recorded the guitars dry, then I used distortion/amp modelling plugins. It obviously wasn't a complete success!

There's no way I could record a proper amp in my house (too loud for the neighbours) but I might try to buy a wee practice amp and record that. Thanks for the ideas.

powderfinger - always great to hear from you. I'll try and find a quiet amp I can mic! Drums are a Sonic Implants soundfont, MusicLab SlicyDrummer and FillinDrummer for the programming, and Silverspike RoomMachine for the ambience. Glad you like the sound. And thanks (as always) for the kind words about my singing.

boydrj - thank you very much for listening, and for the very cool comments. Big Star are one of those bands I keep hearing about, but haven't got round to listening to yet. What albums would you suggest I start with?

Anyway, I'm really pleased you like this one. Summer's coming to Glasgow, and I felt like a summery, laid-back kind of number.

Cheers

AB

[Stratomaster]

Wow great song! Very well written, arranged, performed and mixed. I really like the stylized mix, almost like a Spector "wall of sound" feel. I even don't mind the guitar sounds-has that kind of beatles-guitar into distortion box straight to board sound. Vocals are placed very well in the mix and nice performance too, I don't notice the autotune-what is the giveaway? The backup vocals maybe? "Her edges fit my corners" nice-wish I thought of that one. Anyway I'm really liking this-its a keeper for me. Very nice!

Edit to add-Check out "Sister Lovers" by Big Star-you can hear the band falling apart over the course of the album-some good pop songs mixed with some depressing stuff.

[Toki987]

very tasteful and recorded well. Mix is clean and nothing trippin over anything else. I wasnt that keen on the solo guitar tone but it works out good. Sounds like you felt good while you did all this.

[boydrj]

Originally posted by alibish


boydrj - thank you very much for listening, and for the very cool comments. Big Star are one of those bands I keep hearing about, but haven't got round to listening to yet. What albums would you suggest I start with?

Anyway, I'm really pleased you like this one. Summer's coming to Glasgow, and I felt like a summery, laid-back kind of number.

Cheers

AB

Strat suggested "Sisters Lovers" which is a good album (and you definitely can hear the band falling apart) ... I would suggest to start at the beginning with their first album called "#1 Record"

[alibish]

Stratomaster - thank you very much for your kind words. For me the giveaway is that the vocals are in tune; remember, I've heard the original takes!

Actually, I find that it's not too obvious on the main vocal (although there are occasional clicks at the starts of vocal phrases) but the harmonies are much more obvious when they're exposed - a bit of that "Cher" effect.

I'll pick up that Big Star album ASAP.

Toki987 - thank you very much! I felt really good when I did this one.

In fact, the last couple of songs I've recorded I've made a real effort to "get in the mood". So with this one I thought about the person it's about, and got myself into a really warm, loving mood. With the last one I forced myself to think back to the events it's about and make myself really upset before I started singing. Hopefully that came across a bit.

boydrj - thanks for the recommendation. I'll pick up that album too.

Cheers

AB

[chrisharris]

I liked this a ton...I can't tell if it's #1 or #2 yet... - But I'll get back to you. Too much noise here now (my house, not your recording)...I'll be back.

[lynx]

I'm not really digging this, but I think it's the mix more than anything. The concept is cool but I think I was expecting more humour or something.

[chrisharris]

Initially, some of the "SSSS's" are hitting me a bit harsh. Nice reverse intro to the lead.

The acapella into is bugging me a tad for some reason. It's not pitch, I think it's all the prominence of the falsetto parts. Like maybe try (TRY) taking one of the lower parts and bumping it up some so the that the falsetto parts are more supporting?

That's all the nits I have, really. Excellent song. (pun intended).

[skids]

Really nice song. Right up my alley! The vibe is the winner here and some fun lyrics.

I liked the mix except maybe the mud. It worked OK for this style song, but I think with less muddy guitars it could shine.

Also, the chorus melody rocked. Just what a song like this needed. The verse melody seemed a little forced in places, but I soon forgot that after the first chorus.

Just an excellent pop tune!

[Guernica]

Hey man,
.very nice tune indeed. I like the vocs in this. ...especially the verses.... ...clean and pristine. I read the comment re: the modelled guits. All I can say is I feel your pain. You know the answer... ...git yerself an amp. ...and again, Im withcha.
Re the mix: Nice production. The only thing that really stuck out to me was a possible excess of verb usage. Nobody else mentioned this so maybe its just my listening source. I like the heavy verb during the verses where there is space for it, but during the chorus, etc. where there is more going on, it seems to be the culprit (in my ears) that muddying things up a bit. It also seems to drop those sections back into the distance a bit.
Very nice tune alibish!
g

[pglewis]

The only nit I can pick in the overall quality is a grittiness or something that comes out in spots. It might be encoding artifacts I'm hearing... but this seems to be a high enough quality VBR file. I wouldn't expect the artifacts to be that pronounced except in the highs. Wish I could be of more help pinpointing what I'm hearing. But I'm reaching here, this is a great quality DIY recording.

Performance and mix fit the tune well. Writing... I can be a sucker for catchy pop songs, and I like this one a lot.

Big Star? #1 Record and Radio City (the first 2 albums) are being sold as a single CD, last I checked. Worth every penny to pick it up, IMO. Lyrics get a bit cheesy at times, but I forgive 'em.

[alibish]

Chris - great to hear from you again. Really glad you like this one.

Yeah, I noticed a lot of "brain dart" sibilance. I've toned it down as much as I can, but any more and the clarity started suffering. I'm sure a lot of it is my vocal technique, but the lyrics are also pretty "s"-heavy!

Glad you noticed the reverse guitar - I thought it was cool.

Good suggestion re the acapella bits - I'll give that a try.

lynx - thank you very much for listening. Sorry it doesn't do much for you! Any thoughts on how I could improve the mix?

skids - thanks for listening. I agree about the mud. I'm away from home at the moment, but as soon as I get back I'll try cleaning up the guitars a bit.

I think the problem with the verse melody is that there are lots of words in a short space of time. I cut out a few, but it's still pretty crowded.

Thanks for the cool comments.

Guernica - great to hear from you again, and thanks for listening and being so nice.

Re the guitars - yep, I know what the solution is. I'll need to move house first, though...

Really good thought re the reverb on the choruses - I think you might be on to something! As I said before, I've got a lot to learn about how to use reverb properly. I'll try cutting it back for the next mix.

pglewis - thanks for listening, and I'm really glad you liked the song.

The grittiness might be the limiter/waveshaper I used to "warm up" the main vocal track (Silverspike RubyTube). It gives stuff a slightly grainy sound. But I like it! Mind you, there are definitely MP3 artifacts on the reverb tails, so you never know.

I'm sitting in an Internet cafe with an excellent selection of second-hand CDs and apparently they've got some Big Star. It's shopping time!

Cheers

AB