Simple song ..lyrics.

[Henri Devill]

This lyric is real simple pop rock..Its not too deep..But a fun story about a girl that I knew ..Some people you never forget..

Faith..

The girl is a mystery
She keeps her faith under lock n key
She sees pictures in the sand
Says that its by a immortal hand
Dances around a wishin'well
Says thats how everyone out here casts a spell
And when it rains
She slides down rainbows

Chorus

She sees in the past
Her eyes turn to glass
Wind blows as a candle glows
She sees in the past

Vers 2

The girl is a mystery
Sacrad diary under lock n key
Grows flowers in the sand
Says that its help from a immortal hand
Shes got a heart of gold
Swears that its very old
And when it rains
She slides down rainbows

Chour.....

Bridge

She lies on the ground
Watchin' the world turn around
She closes her eyes
Here comes the rain

Vers.3

A spirit who begs to be free
Keeps her wand next to her rosary
Reads a bible from her past
Scribbles a rune,Hummin' a tune
And with a wave of her hand
She slides down rainbows

Chorus out......

Its got a extra verse{3}....I know it is a confusing storyline..I have to write some music for this soon..What I don't know yet!
Any ideas?Like I said these arn't deep lyrics.....


Don

[chazba]

Hi Don...Great imagery , I kinda have an image of her It's good to leave out fine details so that the listener can fill in the blanks, so-to-speak. Keep going,,,,
writeon...chazba

[Henri Devill]

Hey Chaz..Thanks... hows the recording goin' ?Long time no read..Glad to see you back.

Don

[theron]

I've read the lyrics a couple times and if songs go with you as they do with me, then the kinks will get flattened when you put a progression and or melody to the words.

You've all you need to work with as far a content and stucture goes.

Let us know how it turns out.

Peace,
Theron.

P.S. nice common thread to hold the lyrics together.

[Henri Devill]

Hey Theron ..Ya It will get some editing..The "reads a bible from her past" line...ahhh..I dont know, its a little too..But like you say it gonna flatten out..Thanks for looking


Don

[theron]

Usually, I tend to get wordy. Too many sylables or rythms within the verse. I count on the musical timing of the progression to cull the lyrics. But, you can't discount the possibility of a decenting line that ignores the rythming pattern and timing, will also refresh the whole damn bundle and recatch the ear of the listener.

In short, don't trash that line too soon without first giving it a chance to flourish.

Just a thought.

Theron.

[badgas]

Hi Don.
You did another good one.
Great lyrics.

Your right about some people you never forget.

[Henri Devill]

Thanks B.G.......I wonder how she is..Theres a song in that!..LOL

Don

[chazba]

Hi Don...Kinda reminds me of " LittleWing". Not really a story, more of an impressionistic word picture of the girl. Whimsical and with an element of fantasy to it. If you tried to make it a story, like about "she went there and did whatever" , it would change the vibe . Maybe ruin the effect. I like it as-is. Modal harmony with modulation to a far key for the bridge.??
writeon...chazba