ON The INTERNET

[Irwin abrigo]

This one is a pop/r&b song.

ON The INTERNET

©2008 Irwin Byron Abri

You let a photographer
take a take a photography of you
scan it on your computer
And send it to my email address
There’s something bout this picture
The way you smile
something in your eyes
Keep on telling me I want you to come into my life


(2nd verse)
And I can’t help but needing you
after seeing the words you choose,when I check my mail
on the internet, it shows your intellect
you could never be a x, for there would never be a next
once you enter into my life
am sure
it will be you and me for ever more
so if you say yes to my request


(Chorus)
(Tell me on the internet)
I’m on the other end
(tell me on the internet)
you know my email address
(tell me on the internet)
tell me tell me tell me


(3rd verse)
I’m making ah proposal
ah know it’s not unusal
I'm making it all so clare
that I’m sending you picture of me today
now I’m looking at the photography
your hair laidder
down to your shoulder
I believe just for me to see you really show it off


(4th verse)
And I can help but needing you
after seeing the words you choose,when I check my email
in my mail box you’re a rotaract I love the way you interact
my love is solid as a rock
and if you enter into my life
am sure
it will be you and me forever more
But if you say yes to my request
(Repeat chorus)


(Bride)
you may have a few suggestions
and I can take rejection
If there is something you want to say
you can tell me right here

_________________________
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=495672

[up-fiddler]

....I can't seem to get the meter for this one in my head. Either I am reading it wrong or I need to hear the tune in your head that goes with the lyrics. I went to your webpage but didn't find this particular tune so I would guess that you are still toying with the lyrics and arrangement. One thing that stood out for me was the bridge. It would be a great theme song for our forum here.

you may have a few suggestions
and I can take rejection
If there is something you want to say
you can tell me right here

Good luck with this one. I look forward to seeing how it becomes music.

[gecko zzed]

This is an interesting set of lyrics, and despite the dominace of the internet in our lives, there don't seem to be all that many songs about it.

There is a strangeness about your lyrics that suggest to me that English isn't your native tongue. Curiously, that makes the lyrics that much more interesting, because the expressions are just that slight bit off-centre.

I think these would fit well within an R&B or pop genre. I note that Up-fiddler was puzzled by the metre . . . but I reckon it coud be made to fit something ok.

There are a couple of things that I wonder about:
"your hair laidder" . . . I think that "laidder" is maybe "ladder". If so, it makes it a great line.

But I'm stumped by "rotoract". You would need to explain that.

As for the bridge . . .well, that intrigues me greatly. It is so different to what precedes it that I thought it might have been encouragement for people here to voice their opinions . . . and I didn't actually connect it with the song.

It's actually an awesome four lines!