Jan Challenge - Burts reviews

[Whatmysay]

Up fiddler – My first Car

I like this approach; it reminds me of the way that the tow truck Mater in ‘Cars’ moves. The beat and the riff (like changing gears with a worn clutch) are jumpy and agitated and the prosody suits the lyric beautifully. The first listen was very jarring, but by the third listen I was hooked.

Definitely in novelty song zone, but it could be more. The final verse could do with a slightly different arrangement to move it to a slightly more reflective mood, prior to launching into the craziness of the final verse/outro.

I’d be inclined to keep the foot drum going all the way through particularly in ‘It didn’t go fast and it never went far’ – just to give a little more cohesion, unless you really want the jarring effect of the rhythm.
I’d love to hear a different sound choice for the second guitar, as the ‘fuzz’ is a little too much for me on both riffs, perhaps pan them wider to distinguish them better.

This is a great realization of your song and sounds fantastic

Your Home – Joseph Spain

A little Bee Gees, a little Jeff Lynn; I think it is one of those winning progression, that just carries you along. I think it is the same prog as the Ch of ‘Echo Beach’ – I felt it in the up-strummed chords between V1 and V2.

This song weaves a lovely spell till the middle eight. I am sorry but the octave up falsetto or helium f/x is just too jarring against the rather even sonorous quality of the rest of the song. I would love to hear that voice mixed back somewhere as a harmony line against the main vocal melody. If it is edge you are after in the bridge then consider the arrangement, not just the vocals.

Perhaps some distortion guitar – fore-grounded a little earlier in the song’s Ch could provide you with the impact you need.

I’d definitely consider layering the vocals with a couple of harmony lines. Bring the drums up a bit more. Perhaps more layers with synths and guitars. Don’t underestimate the power of a good piano sound, just plunking away on the 1 and 3 beats – works for Coldplay.

In fact my gut reaction would be to push this further in a CP sort of direction, keeping the vocal line even while building the power underneath it with keys, guitars and harmony lines – perhaps I am imposing too much on your work?

I really enjoy this work and your voice warms with each listening.

Somewhere – Gecko

As a fellow Ausi (all be it exiled) this is Chiselesque and I think uniquely Australian. The production is excellent, musicianship outstanding and the arrangement supports the sentiments of the lyrics superbly. I enjoy the transfer of the counter melody from the piano (in the Vs 1) to the harp (V2) and then how all inst play their part in the chorus.

Your voice is perfect for this material – or as the songwriter – you have written a song that works so very well with your voice. I’d love to hear some more harmonies (actually a whole choir) in the Ch and some open tuned slide guitar.

I am not crazed on the conga sound – in a song full of ‘real’ sounds they sound very ‘midi-ish’, perhaps they just need to be pulled back in the mix.
I loved the lyric last month and I love the song, as it fills me with a certain nostalgia for home and would sit along side the best Paul Kelly, Jimmy Little or Wedding Parties Anything could offer.

Seven Tears Ago – Frankie Rage

I have not listen to your material before so this was a surprise. You really are cutting the alt-country genre here.

It is nowhere near what I expect from the lyrics, but it really works well. There is much more of a first person voice coming through – like a dramatic monologue – with this arrangement. I really connect with the ‘bill on the mat’ image much more then leading into the ‘and you’ll never be back’ realization.

The song is short but even so I think you could get some more variety in the arrangement. I’d love to hear a 2/4 roll on a country snare after the first Ch and pull back on the detuned echo effect.

The more I listen the more the song grows on me and now I want to desperately to hears a bridge/mid-8 section

Thank you all it has been a pleasure sharing these months with you and listening to your work as it grew.

Cheers

Burt

[icystorm]

Your Home – Joseph Spain

A little Bee Gees, a little Jeff Lynn; I think it is one of those winning progression, that just carries you along. I think it is the same prog as the Ch of ‘Echo Beach’ – I felt it in the up-strummed chords between V1 and V2.

This song weaves a lovely spell till the middle eight. I am sorry but the octave up falsetto or helium f/x is just too jarring against the rather even sonorous quality of the rest of the song. I would love to hear that voice mixed back somewhere as a harmony line against the main vocal melody. If it is edge you are after in the bridge then consider the arrangement, not just the vocals.

Perhaps some distortion guitar – fore-grounded a little earlier in the song’s Ch could provide you with the impact you need.

I’d definitely consider layering the vocals with a couple of harmony lines. Bring the drums up a bit more. Perhaps more layers with synths and guitars. Don’t underestimate the power of a good piano sound, just plunking away on the 1 and 3 beats – works for Coldplay.

In fact my gut reaction would be to push this further in a CP sort of direction, keeping the vocal line even while building the power underneath it with keys, guitars and harmony lines – perhaps I am imposing too much on your work?

I really enjoy this work and your voice warms with each listening.

Thanks for listening and the helpful guidance, Burt.

I agree with you about the bridge. It can definitely be better, and your advice sounds like a very good idea.

Man, I would love to spend a week or so looking over the shoulders of some of you guys in the forum during your recording/mixing processes. I'm sure I could learn a lot.

Cheers,
Joseph

[gecko zzed]

Originally Posted by Whatmysay

Somewhere – Gecko

As a fellow Ausi (all be it exiled) this is Chiselesque and I think uniquely Australian. The production is excellent, musicianship outstanding and the arrangement supports the sentiments of the lyrics superbly. I enjoy the transfer of the counter melody from the piano (in the Vs 1) to the harp (V2) and then how all inst play their part in the chorus.

Your voice is perfect for this material – or as the songwriter – you have written a song that works so very well with your voice. I’d love to hear some more harmonies (actually a whole choir) in the Ch and some open tuned slide guitar.

I am not crazed on the conga sound – in a song full of ‘real’ sounds they sound very ‘midi-ish’, perhaps they just need to be pulled back in the mix.
I loved the lyric last month and I love the song, as it fills me with a certain nostalgia for home and would sit along side the best Paul Kelly, Jimmy Little or Wedding Parties Anything could offer.

Thanks, Burt.

The transfer of melody from piano to harp was accidental . . . not a lot of conscious thought in it.

I had considered more voices in the chorus . . . but it would need a skilled arrangement to prevent overcrowding, and that was beyond me at the time. The idea of slide is a good one, and I might even experiment a bit. Thanks for the suggestion!

I agree with the conga sound. They are, in fact, sample, but not very good ones. I was trying to find a 'half-way' percussion part between nothing and the full kit. I agree about their 'midi-sih' nature. The kit, by the way, is also samples and midi.

[up-fiddler]

Up fiddler – My first Car
....Definitely in novelty song zone, but it could be more. The final verse could do with a slightly different arrangement to move it to a slightly more reflective mood, prior to launching into the craziness of the final verse/outro.

I’d be inclined to keep the foot drum going all the way through particularly in ‘It didn’t go fast and it never went far’ – just to give a little more cohesion, unless you really want the jarring effect of the rhythm.
I’d love to hear a different sound choice for the second guitar, as the ‘fuzz’ is a little too much for me on both riffs, perhaps pan them wider to distinguish them better.....

I tried a reflective ritard for that but couldn't get it done in time. (Stupid deadline!) I think you are spot on with that rec. Thanks for letting me know I was off in the right direction. I also tried the kick through the chorus but either I didn't play it well or I should have changed the beat. My original thought was to keep pounding the kick through the stops but it just never sounded like it belonged with everything else that was going on. In the end I muted the kick in those spaces. The riff guitar setting is non-negotiable! (But thanks for noticing) I always appreciate your insights and this time is no different. I will get to work on the soulful ritard. Thanks.