January's challenge - "Your Home" - Joseph's contribution

[icystorm]

Greetings all...

This is a rough demo of "Your Home" with vocals for part II of Dave's songwriting challenge. I will be revising it before the deadline.

My topic, as a reminder, was "my first home".

There are a few artifacts that are audible in the demo. They are related to computer latency during the mixdown process. I am working to resolve those for the final demo.

Also, I think I need a special microphone for the use of falsetto vocals in the bridge. I read about one especially for falsetto vox somewhere. I'm looking for the article/blog entry.

My current mic mutes (or caps) the vocals above a certain level, which results in the sound becoming "sqashed". If I cannot resolve that, I will sing in a normal range for the bridge. I am still working to make the demo better for the challenge entry.

Both sources have the same file, but the box.net version offers a higher resolution.

I think the vocals sit slightly too loudly in the mix and the EQ is not proper. I'm working on both.

http://www.box.net/shared/bkdi405hdh

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=7186294

Your Home

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.1
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: none (Homrecording.com challenge entry)
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

verse 1
Yesterdays are faded gray
The mirrors never show
Within these walls are memories
of love I'll never know
Every year I celebrate your birthday all alone
Your pictures smile in every room
and shine in my first home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

verse 2
You said you'd always live for me
We promised that we'd die
to live inside each other's hearts
in vows we made for life
Now every day I pray to see
the hands I used to hold
These timeless gifts are in your reach
and waiting in your home

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

bridge
There's emptiness in my first home
I crossed the threshold all alone
Across the fields that bear your name
I'm everything you own

chorus
I know someday you'll find the truth
I'm waiting here alone for you
and everything I'll ever do
will bring you safely home
We share the moon above the sea
While we're apart I'll always be
the light beyond your darkest need
to guide you to your home

(repeat chorus through fade out)

Cheers,
Joseph

[icystorm]

Hi all...

Well, I made six changes to my demo since the previous posting. These may be the final changes I make before the January 31 challenge deadline.

The changes include:

- Removed one of the electric guitar tracks, which had too much 'buzz'. That increased the overall clarity of the song.

- Corrected most of the significant artifacts in the song that were originally brought about by latency during the conversion process.

- Added some targeted delays in the bridge, for effect.

- Modified the EQ to provide slightly more dynamics.

- Reduced the compression slightly.

- Reduced the vocal volume slightly in the mix.

Same links as before, but updated:

http://www.box.net/shared/bkdi405hdh

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=7186294

As a self-critique, I know I need to work on the timing of breathing and get a mic shield. In some spots, it sounds like I'm sucking the air out of the room.

Plus, the falsetto scream at the end of the bridge is still too "crushed" due to loudness. No amount of EQ tampering can fix that. I'm still looking for the falsetto mic I read about once before that is supposed to be able to handle a scream.

I look forward to hearing everyone's contributions within a couple of weeks. I'm already very impressed with Gecko's work.

Cheers,
Joseph

[Frankie Rage]

Just to let you know someone is listening!

Feedback after 31st.

I have to say I am impressed by yours and Geckos work. I am not able to produce anything as polished myself but at least I have finished my song.

I am rushing to record at least a rough demo.. well, that's all it will be!!!

[SEDstar]

I listened to the first version.

good song. I'm not worried about "production", just want enough to "hear" the song, and try to "see it" in my head. This is enough production for that.

Somethng slightly reminiscient of "moody blues" to the whole thing, just a general "feel" to it, lightly bittersweet. I guess just the "mood" reminds me of their song that says "I... refuse to believe... that some-one's.,.. not waiting.. for me....."

maybe the key is similar same, and the use of "home" as a theme is all it was.



I dont mean this in a "you ripped it off" way... I mean it in a "thats who it reminds me of" way...

*shrugs*

as a demo goes, its enough quality production to hear that the song is "working" well, and the lady from "Heart" could tear into it, if only we could convincer her producer to buy it for her... I consider it "sale-able" and isnt that the whole idea of songwriting?

good job... I'm green with envy. WHich is better than being green from being "sick" as happens when i listen to my own singing, LMAO

[icystorm]

Originally Posted by Frankie Rage

Just to let you know someone is listening!

Feedback after 31st.

I have to say I am impressed by yours and Geckos work. I am not able to produce anything as polished myself but at least I have finished my song.

I am rushing to record at least a rough demo.. well, that's all it will be!!!

Thanks for the kind words, Frankie! I look forward to hearing yours and commenting on all contributions after the deadline.

Regarding your production, remember what SEDStar pointed out... it's more about the quality of the song itself than anything. As that goes, I doubt I'll be entering any production or singing contests, but songwriting is the fun part for me.

BTW, I think it would be fun to pair up with an amatuer video maker and set a song or two to a video(s)... just for fun. I looked around online the other day, but had no luck finding such a group.

Cheers,
Joseph

[icystorm]

Originally Posted by SEDstar

I listened to the first version.

Thanks for listening and the kind words, SEDstar. I will respond to your post in full after Jan 31. (...waiting in observance of Dave's rules...)

Cheers,
Joseph

[icystorm]

If you've already listened to my contribution to Dave's challenge, please note that nothing about the song has changed from my previous post last week. This post is simply to identify the higher-quality version on box.net, vis-à-vis the lower-quality version on Soundclick.com.

So, my final, "official" entry for "Your Home" is:

http://www.box.net/shared/bkdi405hdh

resolution: VBR 292-320 kbps

-------

additional Soundclick version in case Box.net does not work for you (128 kbps):

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=7186294

Cheers,
Joseph

[icystorm]

Originally Posted by SEDstar

Somethng slightly reminiscient of "moody blues" to the whole thing, just a general "feel" to it, lightly bittersweet. I guess just the "mood" reminds me of their song that says "I... refuse to believe... that some-one's.,.. not waiting.. for me....."

Thanks, SEDStar. I am familiar with a few hits by the Moody Blues and I respect their work; Nights in White Satin, Gemini Dream, and Your Wildest Dreams come to mind. At first, I thought you might be drawing a comparison to Your Wildest Dreams. But, I did a little checking based on the lyrics you posted and found a Moody Blues song titled It's Cold Outside of Your Heart. I'd never heard it, but thanks for the comparison. I'll take it!

BTW, I learned something new when browsing the Moody Blues discography. I did not know they performed I'm Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band). I would have bet my last dollar that The Steve Miller Band performed that. I've heard it on the radio for many years, but always assumed it was TSMB. I really never gave it much thought.

Originally Posted by SEDstar

as a demo goes, its enough quality production to hear that the song is "working" well, and the lady from "Heart" could tear into it, if only we could convincer her producer to buy it for her... I consider it "sale-able" and isnt that the whole idea of songwriting?

Thanks again for the kind encouragement. I would love for Nancy Wilson to sing it. I've always preferred her voice over Ann's. Sure, Ann has the stronger, more acrobatic voice and she's a gifted singer, by Nancy has a certain style that I love.

I watched her perform These Dreams in a 2002 video filmed in Seattle. It was pure magic. Her performance was very sweet (it's on YouTube). I like her more now than during her rock girl/big hair days of the 80s.

Originally Posted by SEDstar

good job... I'm green with envy. WHich is better than being green from being "sick" as happens when i listen to my own singing, LMAO

Actually, I'm envious of the crystal clear sounds you produce in the songs you post. If mine could only be half that good!

Thanks for listening and posting, guy!

Cheers,
Joseph