herezzz another song by me

[Physical Ill]

http://www.zshare.net/audio/1447508114e84c2a/

thankz in advance yall, much love

[Physical Ill]

Feeeeed ?

[Fieva]

I can tell you're workin on it homie. I can tell that you're reading it, but only barely...500% better than your last effort so it's movin'. I like how you're flippin' the lyrics, tighten it up a little more though and it'll be solid. Just remember, if you have to work too hard to make words fit in the bars, try switching them up (a thesaurus is my best friend in those times) so that they mean the same but have different words.

Edit: Don't forget that slang ain't gonna hurt you homie, this is hip-hop, you can do it.

Once we get that conquered, we'll work on your mix. I honestly think that your mix is hurting you more than the reading because it's throwing me off with the beat. I could only tell where the hook was because of the words being repeated.

Fiev.