All Alone

[Whatmysay]

This is my latest work

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=6366808

I'm not posting in Mp3 Clinic as I know it is not about the mix - comments pls on song, structure or arrangement

Cheers

Burt

[up-fiddler]

The phrase "All Alone" is one of great power. It evokes personal images to each of us and is repeated enough to bring this song home for me. I like the additions of 'electronica' since you have done them with taste rather than experimentation. Theses parts and fills seem to flow well within the song. Many times people will slap them into a song just because they can and the result is rarely musical to my ears. You have a nice balance with this one. Good tune. Instead of trying to hold notes like "all aloooooooooooooooooone'" your voice might be better served by breaking it up and repeating it over the same time span. (Like "all alone, all alone, all alone") Nice tune either way.

[Whatmysay]

cheers - I think this is how my style is evolving (synth acoustic)so I am pleased you think they are blended well

[ido1957]

Great tune - I'm not sure whether I would prefer the long All Alone or make it several as mentioned by UF. They both have merit, maybe a combo would work.... I think if you play this live, you could give it a shot to see how you feel about it. As this recording is done, you should keep this version and try a different one in the future (just vocals changing) if the change up really feels right.

I found the synth a bit distracting at first. But towards the end it seemed less so. Just a volume thing I would say...

Bridge was very strong....

The lyrics are great - all the things about being alone are very true.

I found the last verse to be a bit "quick" in it's fix to the problem of being alone. It took several lines to describe the problem but only a few to say it was solved. I was left waiting for more details....

Anyway that's my take on it....I did like the tune a lot...

[Whatmysay]

Cheers Idol

Thanks for listening and comments - I like economy in my lyrics, but I can see how the bridge could jump out as a bit quick. I think the narrative was devised to serves the changing meaning on "All alone" rather than being driven by its self and appropriately weighted - but it is a perspective I had lost touch with in the writing and now hear in the listening, as per your comments.

Will have a think about that one - I hate songs over 5 mins so not sure what I'd do

Cheers

Burt

[Coughmist]

hey! if your song was six minutes, it would still kick ass. Time is only relative to what it is filled with. Courting a lady for a year can feel like a minute... sitting on a hot iron for a second can feel like a year!

Dig the tunes on yourspace. cool stuff! keep it up!!!

[Whatmysay]

I know time is relative - but when you write you can only hope your song is like a good 'courting' as opposed to a 'red hot poker' - I could go for hours on the double meaning here, but I'll restrain for tastes sake, as it is Good Friday.

Something under 5 min walks the middle ground for me - it is not that I would not go over it - but the argument would have to be strong.

I am often amazed at how many artists material can seem so engaging and feel so detailed and run at under 4.5 min - that what I strive for

Cheers for your comments

[DAS19]

Originally Posted by Whatmysay

This is my latest work

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=6366808

I'm not posting in Mp3 Clinic as I know it is not about the mix - comments pls on song, structure or arrangement

Cheers

Burt

I am all for people posting in both mixing clinic and songwriting because its two different aspects. We can comment on both in two competely different ways. Good mix. Bad Songwriting. Bad Mix. Great Songwriting. You get it.