Please Review: IF I KNEW YOUR NAME

[DarkFriend]

Greetings, all.. Wanted to ask for reviews of my new tune called "If I Knew Your Name". It's the default song at http://www.myspace.com/evanlesser

Would love any comments on the songwriting, recording, and musicianship.

Thanks much!


Current gear list so you can come rob me: Reaper v2.031, Waves Gold plugins, 1995 Fender Nashville Telecaster, 2007 Fender Jazz bass w Badass II Bridge, Yamaha MM6, M-Audio Firewire 410, Line 6 Pod X3, Audio Technica 3035 condenser mic, Various crappy tube mic preamps, KRK Rokit 5 monitors, Sennheiser HD 280 Pro cans, 1966 Yamaha Upright Studio, Domestic Shorthair Tabby

[ido1957]

Good writing Evan. You have a strong power pop song going here. The arrangement of the keyboards and guitars really contributes to the quality of the song. The little fills are excellent. Production/Recording is also top notch!

The only nit I have is that sometimes the vocals pause in the phrase, when I would like to hear another syllable or two and sometimes it's rushed. For example:
Won’t you go, (pause pause pause)
with me (rushed) to this show?

Just an example of an additional syllable or two....the change to the rush is harder to explain but....
Baby won't you go.
With - me to this show?

[gecko zzed]

Your song triggers memories of the sounds of a number of bands, and I hear influences from The Beatles, ELO, Badfinger and maybe others. If you deliberatley set out to capture this flavour, you've done well.

I hear a song that is well recorded, well mixed, and well performed. Vocally, the verse is strong and confident, and most of the harmonies are fine. However, in the bridge bit, they sounded a bit perilous to me, and that part of the song would need a bit more attention.

I agree with the comment that the phrases are short. This tends to give a jumpiness to the song that makes listening to it disconcerting. Maybe you could try, as suggested, to lengthen the phrases, but I'm not sure that that is the best solution (although I can't yet offer an alternative).

There are a couple of other things I might suggest. The song doesn't have a very memorable hook, so you need to think about this. I think it could also benefit from some greater dynamic variation; there is a broadly constant feel throughout, and mixing it up a bit more might add some dynamic interest. As it is, by about two and a half minutes, I felt that the song had said all it was going to say musically.

But . . . it's a very fine effort.

[DarkFriend]

Originally Posted by ido1957

Good writing. You have a strong power pop song going here. The arrangement of the keyboards and guitars really contributes to the quality of the song. The little fills are excellent. Production/Recording is also top notch!

The only nit I have is that sometimes the vocals pause in the phrase, when I would like to hear another syllable or two and sometimes it's rushed. For example:
Won’t you go, (pause pause pause)
with me (rushed) to this show?

Just an example of an additional syllable or two....the change to the rush is harder to explain but....
Baby won't you go.
With - me to this show?

ido1957:

Big thanks to you for the detailed comments. I agree with your take on the vocal pauses. Can I justify them by saying the protagonist in the song is tentative about talking with this woman?

I heard this too early on, and tried to construct the song so there were some instrumental bits to fill in the "holes". It definitely sounds better than the original version of this song, but agreed that there might be an opportunity to improve it even more. Thanks again!

[DarkFriend]

Originally Posted by gecko zzed

Your song triggers memories of the sounds of a number of bands, and I hear influences from The Beatles, ELO, Badfinger and maybe others. If you deliberatley set out to capture this flavour, you've done well.

I hear a song that is well recorded, well mixed, and well performed. Vocally, the verse is strong and confident, and most of the harmonies are fine. However, in the bridge bit, they sounded a bit perilous to me, and that part of the song would need a bit more attention.

I agree with the comment that the phrases are short. This tends to give a jumpiness to the song that makes listening to it disconcerting. Maybe you could try, as suggested, to lengthen the phrases, but I'm not sure that that is the best solution (although I can't yet offer an alternative).

There are a couple of other things I might suggest. The song doesn't have a very memorable hook, so you need to think about this. I think it could also benefit from some greater dynamic variation; there is a broadly constant feel throughout, and mixing it up a bit more might add some dynamic interest. As it is, by about two and a half minutes, I felt that the song had said all it was going to say musically.

But . . . it's a very fine effort.

Gecko:

Excellent comments - very astute. Yes, I was hoping for the sound of ELO, Jeff Lynne, The Cars, and other similar genres. Glad to hear you think I pulled it off. Regarding a "hook", I tried to limit the harmony vocals to the main line "If I knew your name, I know you'd be my girl" to emphasize with a little ear candy that that was the hook. The song is a departure for me, as its the first time I've had the verse and chorus use the same exact chord progression. This is a common songwriting technique, but one I've not done before. I've always wanted to give it a shot.

I'll see what I can do with the dynamics. After the first verse, it does have about the same volume range except for the bridge. Thanks again!

[up-fiddler]

I especially like the guitar panning/echo at the ends of verses. Nice tune with great guitar tone. The bass runs drive the song enough to keep it interesting for me. Are your Tube MPs modded or stock? I have two, one of which I like and the other sounds like trash.

[DarkFriend]

Originally Posted by up-fiddler

Are your Tube MPs modded or stock? I have two, one of which I like and the other sounds like trash.

Thanks for the comments! They are stock TubeMPs. I use them only for vocals as a mic preamp. I used to use them for guitars, but then I got into the Pod XT and Pod X3.

[nord]

you could try;

won`t you go-O, with me to this show?

nord

[DAS19]

For me in this horrible bedroom of my brothers it sounds like the bass is to heavy in the mix. Cool song. I hear the 60s sound but I hear more of the beach boys then the beatles.

[DarkFriend]

Originally Posted by DAS19

For me in this horrible bedroom of my brothers it sounds like the bass is to heavy in the mix. Cool song. I hear the 60s sound but I hear more of the beach boys then the beatles.

Give the tune a shot on basic iPod headphones. You'll hear a normal bass level and still a nice mix.

[DAS19]

Originally Posted by DarkFriend

Give the tune a shot on basic iPod headphones. You'll hear a normal bass level and still a nice mix.

Your right it sounds fine now that I listen to it in my normal bedroom and with headphones. Cool tune I hear the beach boys influence if there is one. It reminds of the beach boys for sure anyway.

I like the delay on the guitar and the drum phil in between verse parts.

[DazJWood]

Yes some interesting techniques applied there and tis catchy. Well done

[Drummerbones]

Hey Even. That's a fun song. It's a little hard to really evaluate songs off of myspace because their streaming on songs isn't the best, no matter how high quality you submit to them. Anyway, these are the quick notes I made from just a once-through listen.

Vocal have a bit too much effects for my taste. You have a good voice, let us hear it. It's like having a great steak and smothering it with too much A-1.
Then again, the effect fits the style of the song, so this is merely a matter of taste (no pun intended after my steak comment!).

On the verses, the rhythm guitar overpowers the lead vocals in a few places. I don't think this is a level issue, I think it's due to the fact that the guitar is relatively dry and the vocals are pretty wet which gives the perception they are sitting back in the mix a bit...again, a matter of taste.

I personally would develop the bridge / break in the middle of the song a little more. There's a lot of room there to do some more creative things...your call.

Lastly, I would recommend you vary the vocal melody a bit perhaps going up in range a little on the last verse/chorus or something just to mix things up. The vocals are pretty much in the same repetitive vein throughout the song...not a bad thing, just a suggestion.

All that being said, I think you did a nice job putting this together. All of my comments are based on opinion only. There's nothing there that I would point out to a newbie, for instance, as to how they were dong something wrong or needed to redo this or that. I like the track. It's catchy...but then, so is the clap!!

Nice work...later.

Bones