And here is the other song.....

[up-fiddler]

This is a bluesy folk rocker that I put together by writing down a list of cliches and then trying to tie it all together with a tag line and a strong chorus in a way that made sense. I have the melody in my head (Which is why I didn't put it in the February Challenge) but haven't recorded anything yet. Enjoy and feel free to rip it apart as long as what you have is constructive and honest. Thanks.

I Can Hold You
c.Dave Morehouse 2008

I won’t catch you whenever you fall.
I can’t take away the tears in your life.
I probably can’t help you get over that wall.
But I ……………….. I can hold you.

I can’t promise you the rest of my days.
I won’t buy you everything you need.
I can’t guide you through life’s twisted maze.
But I ………………... I can hold you.


And
That might be enough
To get us through today.
It might help to keep
Our demons at bay.
I can’t do what everyone told you.
But I ……………. I can hold you.

I won’t walk you dog, I won’t feed your cat.
I won’t tke the garbage out to the street.
I can’t worry about little thing like that.
But I ………………... I can hold you.


That might be enough
To get us through today.
It might help to keep
Our demons at bay.
I can’t do what everyone told you.
But I ……………. I can hold you.

[Nicole_Rose]

did you make a rule that you can't submit more than one tune? i wouldn't be upset if you submitted them both.

[up-fiddler]

Originally Posted by Nicole_Rose

did you make a rule that you can't submit more than one tune? i wouldn't be upset if you submitted them both.

No such rule and I appreciate your kind thoughts. By submitting this song outside of the challenge those people who are not involved in the challenge can fire away at this one. I am also in one of those stretches where I am writing like a madman and the song sketches are coming almost by the hour. (No, I don't use drugs!) But you know the other side to that story.....I will also have three weeks where I only write trite and trivel and go stomping through the house. Thanks again for the kind words and also for baring your soul to the Challenge.

[Whatmysay]

I'm with Nicole (are you one of the yopies Nicole? - new language for an Aussie) post it in the main list - I 'm struggling to get one in - so you could be my proxy.

You are driving such a positive vibe here upfid - you are entitled to some latitude.

[mjr]

Originally Posted by up-fiddler

This is a bluesy folk rocker that I put together by writing down a list of cliches and then trying to tie it all together with a tag line and a strong chorus in a way that made sense. I have the melody in my head (Which is why I didn't put it in the February Challenge) but haven't recorded anything yet. Enjoy and feel free to rip it apart as long as what you have is constructive and honest. Thanks.

I Can Hold You
c.Dave Morehouse 2008

I won’t catch you whenever you fall.
I can’t take away the tears in your life.
I probably can’t help you get over that wall.
But I ……………….. I can hold you.

I can’t promise you the rest of my days.
I won’t buy you everything you need.
I can’t guide you through life’s twisted maze.
But I ………………... I can hold you.


And
That might be enough
To get us through today.
It might help to keep
Our demons at bay.
I can’t do what everyone told you.
But I ……………. I can hold you.

I won’t walk you dog, I won’t feed your cat.
I won’t tke the garbage out to the street.
I can’t worry about little thing like that.
But I ………………... I can hold you.


That might be enough
To get us through today.
It might help to keep
Our demons at bay.
I can’t do what everyone told you.
But I ……………. I can hold you.

The only thing I can think of is to change "whenever" to "every time" in the first verse.

[Nicole_Rose]

Originally Posted by Whatmysay

I'm with Nicole (are you one of the yopies Nicole? - new language for an Aussie) post it in the main list - I 'm struggling to get one in - so you could be my proxy.

You are driving such a positive vibe here upfid - you are entitled to some latitude.

no but close. if i go to the river i can hit michigan with a thrown stone. i'm just on the other side of the st clair river in sarnia ontario right across from port huron.

[ido1957]

That might be enough
To get us through today.

While reading the verse(s) I was thinking that you weren't really doing much for the person you're singing to. The chorus clarifies it a lot though. I like the way the above lines infer something like - "I'm not your husband/boyfriend/lover, who would normally do these household chores for you, but I can hold you and get you through today..." At least that was what I was getting from it.....

I can’t do what everyone told you.

What does this refers to? What did everyone tell them?



__________________
My Songs are here

[Nicole_Rose]

Originally Posted by ido1957

What does this refers to? What did everyone tell them?

there is a common myth that when you find, Mr, or Ms, right, he/she will be everything to you. lover, friend, father, mother, sister, brother, partner, well almost everything. that that one person can fulfill all your needs. . you get the idea. anyway, he's saying that he can't fulfill all of that stuff. (like a sensible person would realize) but he can love her for as long as it lasts and be there to hold her.

at least that's my interpretation of what he wrote. correct me if i'm wrong up fiddler.

[up-fiddler]

No rights and no wrongs for the listener. It always is what it is. Perception is reality.....for the listener interpretation is also reality.

For the writer it was the idea that quite often people will tell you that someone can do this or that and then you expect that behavior from them. I wanted to stress that although he might not live up to others' expectations he could still deliver one of the most powerful acts of affection. The shear act of holding someone when they need it most.

[Yonce N Mild]

Originally Posted by up-fiddler

I won’t walk you dog, I won’t feed your cat.
I won’t tke the garbage out to the street.
I can’t worry about little thing like that.
But I ………………... I can hold you.

Somehow this verse seems out of place with the rest of the song. In the other verses it's pretty significant things that you are saying that you can't do. These thing are trivial.

I LOVE the chorus! I really get the sense of two lonely souls coming together and giving each other just what they need just when they need it. Quiet your mind and live in the moment it's alright tonight. Who knows what the morning might bring but tonight we are warm safe and most importantly, not alone. Beautiful.

Overall I like it and it speaks to me. I feel like I can relate, it actually reminds me of a specific night many years ago. Actually.......... I feel inspired..... I'm off to write.

Thank You.

[up-fiddler]

Originally Posted by Yonce N Mild

Somehow this verse seems out of place with the rest of the song. In the other verses it's pretty significant things that you are saying that you can't do. These thing are trivial.

I LOVE the chorus! I really get the sense of two lonely souls coming together and giving each other just what they need just when they need it. Quiet your mind and live in the moment it's alright tonight. Who knows what the morning might bring but tonight we are warm safe and most importantly, not alone. Beautiful.

Overall I like it and it speaks to me. I feel like I can relate, it actually reminds me of a specific night many years ago. Actually.......... I feel inspired..... I'm off to write.

Thank You.

Very perceptive. That is the verse I wrote the following day and I am still not happy with it for the very reasons you mention. The chorus took the better part of a day to write and rewrite and rewrite and....... (You know the drill.) Thanks for the input. Good luck with your inspiration session!

[jdblessing1970]

Originally Posted by up-fiddler

Very perceptive. That is the verse I wrote the following day and I am still not happy with it for the very reasons you mention. The chorus took the better part of a day to write and rewrite and rewrite and....... (You know the drill.) Thanks for the input. Good luck with your inspiration session!

how about this for a last verse?

I can’t be your soul mate; I can’t stay til the end
I can’t put the pieces back together
I can’t be what you need when you need more than a friend
But I ………………... I can hold you.

Just something I threw together.

[up-fiddler]

Originally Posted by jdblessing1970

how about this for a last verse?

I can’t be your soul mate; I can’t stay til the end
I can’t put the pieces back together
I can’t be what you need when you need more than a friend
But I ………………... I can hold you.

Just something I threw together.

Thanks, as always. Waht I need for the song is something with substance for the 'big finish'. This is a start towards that ending. What I had written is disjointed and out of place. Not rewriting this one just now. I am letting it simmer for a bit. The melody is done so perhaps I will record something but I like to lock in the lyrics first whenever I can.

[32-20-Blues]

This is thematically quite close to "It Ain't Me, Babe" by Bob Dylan, except for one crucial difference. Whereas Dylan is saying something like, "I'm not the perfect man - I don't want to have anything to do with you", your song (to me, anyway) says something like "I'm not the perfect man, but hell, life's not perfect either, and I'll do the best I can, when I can." In this regard, it's an odd mix of devotion and apathy, which is interesting. For my money, there's too many songs about unquestioning love. This has more truth in it: "I can't worry about little things like that." It's easy to miss the complexity upon a first read. After subsequent readings, I found myself wondering whether the singer will actually be good for the woman he is singing to. Probably not - he's more interested in comforting her after the fact, as opposed to preventing her hardships to begin with. Nothing wrong with that, though; he is, after all, a confirmed romantic, who is more concerned about loftier things than the garbage and family pets. Nicely written piece, without a doubt.

Incidentally, it put me in mind of another deeply ambivalent love song, but one that also, on first listen, comes across as a straight ahead song of devotion. Namely, "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys, which begins with "I may not always love you..." I think there are resonances of this sentiment in lines like "I can't stay 'til the end."

Anyway, nice job.

[jdblessing1970]

Originally Posted by up-fiddler

Thanks, as always. Waht I need for the song is something with substance for the 'big finish'. This is a start towards that ending. What I had written is disjointed and out of place. Not rewriting this one just now. I am letting it simmer for a bit. The melody is done so perhaps I will record something but I like to lock in the lyrics first whenever I can.

As always, my unsolicited lyirc suggestions are just that, suggestions. Without the melody, I have no idea how well my idea would fit, but figured it might give ya food for thought. (Not trying to get my name attached to yet another Dave Morehouse original. Glad to see it served it's purpose.

[up-fiddler]

Originally Posted by jdblessing1970

As always, my unsolicited lyirc suggestions are just that, suggestions. Without the melody, I have no idea how well my idea would fit, but figured it might give ya food for thought. (Not trying to get my name attached to yet another Dave Morehouse original. Glad to see it served it's purpose.

What most of you don't know is that Jeff and I have collabed on a couple of tunes via long distance. Jeff is ALWAYS welcome on one of 'my originals'.