Your thoughts....

[qiktune]

Happy new year to all at my favourite forum.

I've got a couple of demos on my page I'd like some comment/critique on.

http://www.myspace.com/brettmosesmusic

"Blue Skies Forever" - just a couple of words I liked so started recording just to use them and see where it leads. I've never recorded like that before so I dont have the song completed....nevertheless theres a snippet to listen to and comment on.

"Tell Me More About You" - well, the lyrics speak for themselves and I really just wanted to demo this thing to get some ideas down (get it out of my system).

All comments and feedback welcomed.

[Emusic]

Hello.
Since there was no feedback to your post , I decided to make one.
I'm listening on one very, tiny and old PC internal speaker, so I can\t comment much on production and such - just on how I feel the melody itself works for me. The good thing about that is; if a song works on the smallest mono speaker, it will work wherever.
So did it work? To the comments:

Blue skies forever
Too short to say much. The melody quickly settles as "something I've heard before". Probably means I have. Not as in a ripoff, but in it's "just too common."

Tell me more about you
I sense that those elements in the start are verses. They are ok, but quickly places themself into the above mentioned "heard it so many times before" category.
And I can't sense a single chorus up to the guitarsolo. Well thats ok, some songs don't have choruses (or consist only of choruses or just even hooks(Call on me)) like Stevie Wonders maybe best tune ever, "Isn't she wonderful".
But here it just stands out as just predictable verses strung together.

The lyrics I can't comment on from my listening environement right here now. Same goes for for arrangement allthough i sense quick demo productions.

Actually, the track with best melodically potential is imo California Stars.

Well thats what I got out of it; melodically speaking.

Try to finish the productions a little more? Make some elements stand out more from the verses?

Best of luck.

[up-fiddler]

...Blue Skies sounds very familiar. That very feature gives it nice commercial appeal as a chorus. I would like to see a clever storyline surrounding it and have the melody wander a bit during the stanzas.

Tell Me More is a pleasing tune but I agree that the vox need to be up front for the listener to get much out of it. The drums sound just right on this one to me. Try comperssing the vox lightly (1.4 to 1) and raising the volume on them a bit to get them out in front of the rhythm section.

As always, this is jsut my $.02 and the music is yours, not mine. Good luck.

[qiktune]

Thank you VERY much for your input (as limited as you may think it is - it's not, it all helps).

Let's clear up one thing from the start......California Stars is NOT my song ( it's a Wilco cover from Mermaid Ave 1 ). So I'd love to take credit on the melody but kudos needs to go to Jeff Tweedy and Jay Bennett on that baby.

As for the other songs (which ARE mine)...

Blue Skies etc, is familiar to me too but rather than throw it out as I always do I figured I'd just run with it and see where it goes. Up-fiddler has hit it on the nose with the "commercial" aspect. I'm not striving for the top of the Billboard charts but I LOVE "guitar pop".
There is a longer version on my page now.

Tell Me More, lyrically was just some feelings I was going through and again just needed to get it out. I agree that it does need something else to get it going....but what? Hmmmm.

I'll work harder on my production skills as I do tend to struggle with compression and stuff (it's all so new to me).

Keep 'em comin please