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  #1  
Old 02-20-2007
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ido1957 ido1957 is offline
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Sweet Addiction - New Lyrics

There are a lot of verses here, so I may omit one when I lay down the music.
I'm going to try and make this a bit of an up tempo rocker.

Let me know what you think.....

Sweet Addiction

Another night and I know I won’t sleep
Can feel the hunger that’s inside of me
It’s always for you that my body yearns
I’m lying here awaiting your return
Don’t know why you make me feel this way
Should run from you but I can’t find the strength
This restless feeling, it won’t let me be
You’re My Sweet Addiction, got a hold on me

Not long together but we had our time
And that taste of you it still haunts my mind
If I give in to you uh huh, lord you know
You’ll just take me where I don’t want to go
Yes I’ve said that we were done before
Always find myself coming back for more
And all those times that I’ve said we’re through
You’re My Sweet Addiction, I can’t get over you

There’s so many nights that I dream of you
You tease me baby, like you always do
Make me do those things and it just ain’t right
And I can’t get away though I try and try
Then I wake up to find that it was just a dream
You’re not really there that just the way it seemed
But the feeling lingers then drifts from my mind
You’re My Sweet addiction, but it’s still my life

When I see you give it up to somebody else
If I said I don’t want it I’d be fooling myself
You cut like a knife I feel it turning inside
As long as I can I’ll hold on to my pride
Just a taste of your love would make me so high
You know I can’t take that chance, but it would feel so right
I want you so bad, but you’re no good for me
This Sweet Addiction, won’t let me be

(Bridge)
My Sweet Addiction, I can’t get over you
Yeah you control me and everything I do
I fight the hunger I want you all the time
Sometimes I feel like I might go out of my mind

I know what’s right and this is just so wrong
But my desire for you is much too strong
Always the same it’s like this everyday
This empty feeling never goes away
You don’t even know what you’re doing to me
You got an innocent smile but I can see.
It’s a real fine line between pleasure and pain
You’re My Sweet Addiction that I can’t explain
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Old 02-20-2007
mikeh mikeh is offline
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Several good lines - as you indicate there may be too many verses.

If I were you, I would try to take the best lines and condense to 3 verses (2 before the bridge and one after).
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Old 02-20-2007
Freddy Freddy is offline
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This flows really well and sounds like it will work well musically too.

If it's up tempo, maybe it won't be too long .. I'm sure you can make that judgement when you get the music down.

If you have to drop any verses, I would say the second and third are less strong than than the others, but ymmv

Great work!
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Old 02-20-2007
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ido1957 ido1957 is offline
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Thanks mikeh and Freddy - I'll keep your advice in mind as I develop these further....

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Old 02-25-2007
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ido1957 ido1957 is offline
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I wrote some music for Sweet Addiction over the weekend, and recorded a really rough track. I took the advice of mikeh and Freddy and trimmed the lyrics way down. Here's a link that will open the song on it's own page.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/song...songID=5048577

Would love to get your feedback on the arrangement......

Here's the lyrics from the updated version....

Sweet Addiction

Another night and I know I won’t sleep
Can feel the hunger that’s inside of me
It’s always for you that my body yearns
I’m lying here awaiting your return
Don’t know why you make me feel this way
Should run from you but I can’t find the strength
This restless feeling, it won’t let me be
You’re My Sweet Addiction, got a hold on me

When I see you give it up to somebody else
If I said I don’t want it I’d be fooling myself
You cut like a knife I feel it turning inside
As long as I can I’ll hold on to my pride
Just a taste of your love would make me so high
You know I can’t take that chance, but it would feel so right
I want you so bad, but you’re no good for me
This Sweet Addiction, won’t let me be

(Bridge)
My Sweet Addiction, I can’t get over you
Yeah you control me and everything I do
I fight the hunger I want you all the time
Sometimes I feel like I might go out of my mind

Break
Bridge

I know what’s right and this is just so wrong
But my desire for you is much too strong
Always the same it’s like this everyday
This empty feeling never goes away
You don’t even know what you’re doing to me
You got an innocent smile but I can see.
It’s a real fine line between pleasure and pain
You’re My Sweet Addiction that I can’t explain

Don’t know why you make me feel this way
Should run from you but I can’t find the strength
This restless feeling, it won’t let me be
You’re My Sweet Addiction, got a hold on me

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Old 02-25-2007
Freddy Freddy is offline
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Thumbs up

Where's a thumbs-up icon when you need one?

That works
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Old 02-25-2007
VGreen VGreen is offline
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Gerry,

Sounds just great. When you colour it up it will sound even better. Well done and good luck with it.

V
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Old 02-26-2007
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rayc rayc is offline
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Gerry,
MMMMAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN are you on a roll!
& I don't mean subway style.
When I read the lyric I recognised your style & had a fair idea of how I thought you'd deliver it BUT I wasn't even close. Nice draft recording!
I reckon you should record the slightly shorter version & then reprise it after a mock fade out but with the missing lyrics. You can edit to the short version for general consumption & keep the longer version for those who find your music top be a sweet addiction of their own.
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Old 02-26-2007
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ido1957 ido1957 is offline
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Freddy - thanks for the thumbs up and the good advice

VGreen - thanks for checking it out

Ray - thanks for listening. Long and short versions might be just the ticket.

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Old 02-26-2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ido1957
Don’t know why you make me feel this way
Should run from you but I can’t find the strength
This restless feeling, it won’t let me be
You’re My Sweet Addiction, got a hold on me
Maybe I listened to way too much pop music this weekend but I would like to hear more of this. I think it's stronger than the bridge lyrically. I seem to like everything that you do musically but I feel these four lines are among your best efforts. I've also had a lot of coffee this morning........ Seriously, nice work.
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Old 02-26-2007
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ido1957 ido1957 is offline
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[QUOTE=ido1957
Don’t know why you make me feel this way
Should run from you but I can’t find the strength
This restless feeling, it won’t let me be
You’re My Sweet Addiction, got a hold on me[/QUOTE]

Quote:
Originally Posted by up-fiddler
Maybe I listened to way too much pop music this weekend but I would like to hear more of this. I think it's stronger than the bridge lyrically. I seem to like everything that you do musically but I feel these four lines are among your best efforts. I've also had a lot of coffee this morning........ Seriously, nice work.
Dave - thanks for the listen and the kind words. While arranging I felt the same sort of thing, so I added those lines again at the end. I still wanted to mix the "chorus" up a bit each time though for a change of pace...

Dig your new web-page - must have taken a few guys to get that piano on the truck....

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