Any opinions are greatly appreciated

[Rock Star 87]

I know we all hate links from any forum but the clinic, but I am posting a link to a ROUGH MIX I just got finished. I posted about this about a month ago, and everyone told me to record a roughie and post it. So here it is. I think it sounds fairly good, technically. How does everyone think it sounds musically? And what genre do you think of it as? Is it even worth copyrighting? Any opinions are greatly appreciated, and I thank you for your time.

Speedy Speed Girl / Dustin Werner w/ Alyse Bensel

[undrgrnd studio]

Dude, lay off the 80's keyboard. Holy crap! This is insane. I like some of the ideas, sort of. For instance, throwing in that semi asian section, and mixing it up with talking vocals with mostly drums for background. But overall the whole thing smacks of 80's cheesy keyboard sounds and multiple sample overkill. The highs are ear piercing, the drum samples sound extremely fake. Technically, the music is in time and played fine, but the sound quality of the keyboard, drums, and eq of the highs are terrible.

The genre, I would say is a mix between experimental and "casio play along samples". I like all sorts of music, so I am definitely open to new things. But this is just plain bizarre.

I'm sorry for being so harsh, but you need to go back to the drawing board. And get a new keyboard.

[brandrum]

Is this serious?

[cello_pudding]

jealousy is sinking into me so deep, you have no idea

[sirslurpee]

It kinda reminds me of the funny music on homestarrunner.com...

[Rock Star 87]

It's not even mixed guys. In either sense, I only wanted music-related feedback. I know it sucks technically, but how are the notes and lyrics.

PS. Cello, what is the jealousy about? You like it that much?

[VGreen]

Hey Dustin,

I think the first reply is brutally kind, you know what I mean? Constructive, helpful. The others are plain cruel with no constructive criticism.

I'm gonna try to give some constructive criticism too. I think you're big enough to take it. So here goes.

I listened to it twice, and technically it's good. Musically, your song has a distinct oriental, middle eastern sound to it. Is this what you intended? I don't know what sample you're using in the melody line, but I'd advise you to open up the keyboard, identify where the sample is stored, and take a pair of pliers and snip the wire. That sample is truly horrible, although it could be used successfully as a form of torture.

Perhaps replace the melody with a piano sample. And instead of repeating the melody line over and over in the root chord (which is G), try throwing in another chord, as it helps break up the monotony. Hip hop or however you might describe your song always sounds better with a few subtle chord changes. Artists are doing this more and more these days. Perhaps try this: (key of G) A B . G (key of Cmaj 7) GA . DB.

The vocal is a little rushed at times, which makes it difficult to understand you. Yours and Alyse's vocals are good. I'd work on the bridge a little - the chords sound unnatural together, i.e. unnatural to a westerner's ear, but if you want the oriental thing then good.

I'd also try a different drum "rhythm" (don't ya just hate spelling that word?). The drums have a distinct middle eastern feel to them. But again, that might be what you want.

So that's my take. Remember, it's only my humble, unerring opinion. I'll look forward to the remix.

V

[cello_pudding]

here we go.

the keyboard patch wasn't bad. you can take any sound and make it okay. i have a friend that can do it well. everythings about note choice..rhythm...layers of sound.

lose the unison part with the girl. have the keyboard play something different. anything different.

when your 'rap' voice comes in...rap on some sort of rhythm. if its suppose to be spoken...then speak it. it seems like it is in between and just really really off.

oh..the samples that come in while you hear the male voice are strange too. cut those out for sure. or have things layer in later or earlier...at the same time it just sounds like a clutter of noise that wishes it were on beat.

the way the song flows is just strange too. something comes and then goes..comes and then goes...its a small theme that's not memorable, and isn't repeated so its just random.

the drums are pretty cheesy...the beginning drums are actually tolerable if you could do something interesting with them throughout.

the girls vocal line seems like it needs a break up in rhythm. she seems out of breath at points. at 1:00 'everything' seems this way. and every time she says it, really. copy paste?

i think those are the big points to tackle.

[Freddy]

You know, it's definitely quirky and/unusual and I am not sure what to think.

I suspect that the keyboard-style is deliberate, and the vocalists can clearly sing.

Call me crazy, but I think it has something. It could drive you mad, but it sticks..