"I'll Settle for I Love You"

[mjr]

First Draft...

I'll Settle for I Love You
Copyright 2007 Monte Richardson

I've been thinking about this for so long
can't figure it out 'cause the words are all wrong
Trying to express this emotion that's real
can't find the words to say what I feel

(chorus)
I realized there aren't any words
that could be spoken or that could be heard
So I know what I'm gonna do
I'll Settle for I Love You
------------------------

Initial thoughts??

[ido1957]

Originally Posted by mjr

First Draft...

I'll Settle for I Love You
Copyright 2007 Monte Richardson

I've been thinking about this for so long
can't figure it out 'cause the words are all wrong
Trying to express this emotion that's real
can't find the words to say what I feel

(chorus)
I realized there aren't any words
that could be spoken or that could be heard
So I know what I'm gonna do
I'll Settle for I Love You
------------------------

Initial thoughts??

Monte,
Great idea for a song...you have a knack for that.....
The verse works for me as is.
The chorus seems to be missing a phrase to complete the thought.
That phrase is in the verse though: can't find the words to say what I feel
I think if you add that it will complete the "story" of the chorus.

What do you think?

[mjr]

Originally Posted by ido1957

Monte,
Great idea for a song...you have a knack for that.....
The verse works for me as is.
The chorus seems to be missing a phrase to complete the thought.
That phrase is in the verse though: can't find the words to say what I feel
I think if you add that it will complete the "story" of the chorus.

What do you think?

So should I repeat that phrase? Something like:

I've been thinking about this for so long
can't figure it out 'cause the words are all wrong
Trying to express this emotion that's real
can't find the words to say what I feel

(chorus)
I realized there aren't any words
that could be spoken or that could be heard
can't find the words to say what I feel
So I know what I'm gonna do, I'll Settle for I Love You

or maybe

I've been thinking about this for so long
can't figure it out 'cause the words are all wrong
Trying to express this emotion that's real
can't find the words to say what I feel

(chorus)
I realized there aren't any words
that could be spoken or that could be heard
can't find the words to say what I feel
So I'll Settle for I Love You

Reading back over it, though, the first & third lines of the chorus seem odd, now...

[ido1957]

Originally Posted by mjr

(chorus)
I realized there aren't any words
that could be spoken or that could be heard
can't find the words to say what I feel
So I know what I'm gonna do, I'll Settle for I Love You

The above seems to work pretty good - the rhyme of "do" and "You" seem good here.

Originally Posted by mjr

Reading back over it, though, the first & third lines of the chorus seem odd, now...

Which version?

Not sure about the duplicate phrase in verse/chorus. That's the idea I was thinking of for the chorus - not necessarily the same phrase though....
You'd have to try it and see if it sounds too "the same"....

let me know what you think....

[mjr]

Originally Posted by ido1957

The above seems to work pretty good - the rhyme of "do" and "You" seem good here.


Which version?

Not sure about the duplicate phrase in verse/chorus. That's the idea I was thinking of for the chorus - not necessarily the same phrase though....
You'd have to try it and see if it sounds too "the same"....

let me know what you think....

I've been thinking about this for so long
can't figure it out 'cause the words are all wrong
Trying to express this emotion so true
How do I express these feelings to you?

Dang skippy!

So now it reads:

I've been thinking about this for so long
can't figure it out 'cause the words are all wrong
Trying to express this emotion so true
How do I express these feelings to you?

(chorus)
I realized there aren't any words
that could be spoken or that could be heard
can't find the words to say what I feel
So I know what I'm gonna do, I'll Settle for I Love You.

[ido1957]

Ok that works pretty good.....