How to improve this ditty

[abandonedbrain]

Thanks for any feedback.
I Can't Speak

[DavidK]

Hmmmmmm, interesting beginning.

Sounds a little soft, the whole thing. Nice synth sounds, nice panning.

Its definitely different. I suppose one would have to hear it in the context of an album, it doesnt really work on its own. It sounds like an introduction to something.

[abandonedbrain]

Thanks. Yeah, I guess this is the closest thing to "filler" we've got. We were trying to decide whether or not to put it on the demo.

[sikter]

Very interresting. I like it.
it seams to be unfinished. I am thinking about story not mix.
The mix itself could be improved by tweaking some sliders but i wouldn't go far from this version.
Well done.

[abandonedbrain]

Thank you.
Would a demo (composed mainly of the other songs on our soundclick) be better served with or without this one?