video of a new song i'm working on

[cello_pudding]

i don't know why i wanted to make a video of a rough one...i guess i just wanted to get youtuber's to comment. the music and lyrics are probably the most intellectual i've made. i like it...but i just want to know some opinions...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5jyZeWdsVNI

Push, Poke, Pry

pushed to, i think, outside
i lie offset, and tongue tied
bring my soul to move, it must
this yoke sustains no more
what's this, a shell, a crust
which beyond's my lenore
my pawing turns to grind
where ,there, no progress find
replaced by fatigue in me
held strong, is my apathy
hunger hangs over like smoke
to only encourage the casual poke
this hardened womb my final fate
i ask, a simple pry? and life, create!

[ido1957]

Wow here are my initial feelings about this.....

- great to see a video of someone playing one of their tunes. Looks like a very nice set of mics. Nice change from just listening. How did you get the sound on the video - my webcam has a built in mic....

- the lyrics are very sophisticated and intellectual as you mentioned. They evoke some thought when reading, not just grade 5 words strung together Good story....

- Your chords/melody lines are equally impressive. You did a good job melding them with the lyrics. I can play about two of those notes I think

- if you can, delete those comments on your YouTube page from that jerk eatitnowbutch.

- that other video on your page is also a cool tune and well played...

[Nick_Black]

I love evrything, but, I'm not dhure, early on the vocals just seam plain bad to me, but I think thats kinda the style you were going for, but later on, liked it. verry good guitar skills btw. good job. a nice change of the ordinary.

[cello_pudding]

thanks all.

i agree with the vocals. the very first word almost makes you want to turn it off..but it gets better. its a bit on the breathy side. i don't want it to sound like i'm trying to sound breathy, but i used to have a bad habit of singing in the back of my throat.

and...this is about not feeling like doing anything... it's supposed to be about being an embryo in an egg, and not having enough care or strenght to break through it, and the yoke has been depleted, and you're just asking for something to pry open a little so you can live.

i've been listening to this...and i've just been thinking about the tension and release of the instrumental part. a part of me doesn't want to do one of the chords because it makes it repeatitive, but it does transition a bit better with it.

anyways...thanks for replying

[cello_pudding]

oh! and...

i record with the camera...record the audio at the exact same time, then synch up the audio from the camera with the recorded...and keep the video audio and video together.

[mjr]

Originally Posted by cello_pudding

oh! and...

i record with the camera...record the audio at the exact same time, then synch up the audio from the camera with the recorded...and keep the video audio and video together.

Nice work. The guitar playing is great. To me, the video looked a bit fuzzy. The song does seem very profound.

Keep it up!

[Freddy]

Unusual, interesting and it's so refreshing to see someone play their song (I'd also be interested in what you used to create it).

Nice guitar work.

Nice song really .. a bit Kurt Weillish.

I didn't get the Lenore reference... Poe's Lenore? Is this a stillbirth? I have just done a 14 hour day and am somewhat tired, so sorry if I am being dense...

Edit: OK, I read your later posts now, so all answered except the Lemore reference (sorry, as I said I am tired!)

[Nick_Black]

Originally Posted by cello_pudding

and...this is about not feeling like doing anything... it's supposed to be about being an embryo in an egg, and not having enough care or strenght to break through it, and the yoke has been depleted, and you're just asking for something to pry open a little so you can live.

wow, I just read the lyrics 9I thought you were singing in another language but oh well, thats a sweet ass story and topic, I would never have thought of something like that. thats just amazing. again. Good job!

[cello_pudding]

yea. poe's lenore was not just one person...it was a few different people he loved.

my use was just some unknown love. it's kinda just a bundle of future wife, love of music...

[chestwick91]

not bad ...i like the lyrics....vocals a little rough but i know it's in the works...
Just an idea...(if you want more balance between your lows and highs)
put one of those mics more towards the bridge...(gives more highs)
and one near the 12th fret (gives more lows)
but keep them of axis like that

i am just saying because they look like 991s or the 603s and they sound great when you do that

keep up the work

[cello_pudding]

yeah. i don't know why it got so crappy. typically i'll get a good tone out of doing an x/y at the 12th. i usually use the ldc and a sdc though...i think the brightness came from them

its a shame too. the high notes are good...but the low notes make the guitar come alive...which made this recording a bit dead.