Trying to write pop-punk[ish]

[Newbie dude]

The band i've joined is sort of a indieish pop-rock pop-punk alternative band, and I've been tryin to write some material for the band, but I'm just not used to writing this genre.I'm used to writing soft indie acoustic rocks songs that are very wordy and have tons of metaphors that are confusing to the point of annoyance.Anyways, Lemme know what you think of what I got so far:
Verse 1
Don’t just say anything,
Anything at all
Your words just might break me
And shatter as I fall
Cause I know what you’re thinking
I can see it on your face
It’s the same as it’s always been
It’ll never change

Chorus
If I could love you better than
If I could speak out better when
I keep on making the same mistakes
Then could you just find a way
To keep this one more day
And don’t say
That it’s time to break this


I remember when
A smile wasn’t hard to find
It would be on your face
Reflecting off of mine
Where did this turn wrong
Where did we let this slip away
Cause now I can’t see anything
But darkness in this place

[TelePaul]

Cool. Punk-pop like blink 182 punk-pop or punk-pop like the Goo Goo Dolls punk-pop?

[Newbie dude]

more along the lines of good charlotte type pop-punk. But like the Young and the Hopeless album. not their newer stuff.

[Freddy]

The words seem fine, but I do wonder about the fit.

I am way out of my time on this stuff (see my age) but my memories of punk don't include love songs quite like this one. Nowadays, of course, it could all be different.

30 years ago (which probably doesnt help!) it would have been more likely to have sung something like...

Verse 1
Don’t just say anything,
Anything at all
I may have to break your face
And kick you in the balls
Cause I know what you’re thinking
I can see it on your face
Same old crap it’s always been
It’ll never change

Chorus
If you understood me better then
If you could speak out better when
You make the same mistakes again
Well, maybe I could find a way
To take you to one side one day
You know what I think?
Yeah, it’s time to break this!

I know.. it probably doesn't help ..

I like the lyrics fine.. I just reacted to the "punk" word. You have some nice images and yet it sounds simpler than it is (simple is good in this context!).

It's always hard to tell without music, but it looks good to me

[Newbie dude]

Haha. And when I say "haha", i'm trying to express that I laughed my ass off when I read your lyrics. I loved them.

But, anyways, imagine real punk music. Now water it down alot. Replace the take the angriness, cut it in half. Sprinkle a dab of happiness on, and add alot of sadness. Now take what you've got and put it in a blender with boy bands like backstreet boys and nsync.

You know have some freshly brewed pop-punk.

As bad and pathetic as it seems and reads on paper, pop-punk is actually pretty descent music.

[Freddy]

From that description, your lyrics sound spot on!