Some lyrics (translated from an old poem)

[32-20-Blues]

I translated this from an old piece of Irish poetry. I adapted it where I saw fit. It has been translated before by better men, but has not - to my knowledge - been set to music recently. Anyway, any thoughts would be much appreciated, as usual. I have tried to make it as fluid as possible, but bear in mind that the original is four hundred years old, so it may not read that well. Here it is:

I will not die because of you,
Although your beauty would shame the swan.
Those you killed were foolish men;
Do I look like a foolish man?

I curse your long and golden hair,
Your virgin throat and voice so sweet.
Your scarlet mouth, the breasts of snow,
Death and I will never meet.

Although your beauty would shame the swan,
In a bitter house hard-reared was I.
I have seen what comes from easy love,
And for you I will not die.

[mikeh]

Very cool!

I always enjoy the way people wrote years ago. I've read letters written by relatives that are 100-200 years old and the wording is so elegant, heartfelt and picturesque.

Thanks for sharing some cool words!

[Freddy]

Nice poem, nicely translated.

Is it from Gaelic or the Cant? Not sure how much to read into your "King of the Travellers" title

Do you write songs in the same language too, as well as in English? I'd love to be able to do that, as there is a different beauty in doing so.

[TelePaul]

It's originally Irish, or 'as Gaeilge' I think.

[32-20-Blues]

Originally Posted by Freddy

Nice poem, nicely translated.

Is it from Gaelic or the Cant? Not sure how much to read into your "King of the Travellers" title

Do you write songs in the same language too, as well as in English? I'd love to be able to do that, as there is a different beauty in doing so.

Thanks for commenting. It's originally in Gaelic, or 'as Gaeilge.' The King of the Travellers title is a line from the film 'Into the West.' I'm quite interested in Traveller, or Pavee, culture.

As for writing songs in Irish Gaelic, well I sing a few of them, but haven't written anything so far. To be honest, my Irish is only reasonable, not fluent. I know enough of it to translate, but composing might stretch my ability with the language! There are very few opportunities to speak it, so if you don't practise it, you lose it. I agree with your point about a different beauty, though. There are some nice idioms in Gaeilge that would work well in a song - despite the limited audience.