Song im working on...

[technominds]

Hey, im a singer songwriter from London. Just want some feedback on if i should take this song in any other directions.. and maybe some production direction?

Thanks for any feedback in advance

http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?fid=5749

[ido1957]

Wow - that's the best piece of music I've heard posted in this forum. It also rivals most of the stuff in the MP3 Clinic too - although they are more Rock and Roll.
Find a good label and get this published/distributed. It's ready for radio....
Super!

[technominds]

Wow - thanks for the responce

Finding labels has been really tough. Ive got over two albums worth of material, and I write songs like this maybe twice a week.

Seriously nothing you would change? I havent revised this whatsoever yet.

[brandoj]

Excellent work. I agree with ido.

[32-20-Blues]

Originally Posted by technominds

Hey, im a singer songwriter from London. Just want some feedback on if i should take this song in any other directions.. and maybe some production direction?

Thanks for any feedback in advance

I'd leave that exactly as it is.

Put it this way, it's not something I would rush out and buy, but I know people who will. It's well crafted and well played.

I also think you're voice is great.

[Freddy]

It's an excellent piece of work!

Arguably, anything you may do with it now comes down to personal taste. It is well-recorded, and both piano and voice sound great. Where did you record it? I suspect you have put some hard work into your recording space

Anyway, if you want suggestions, there are some minor things I could mention (though I agree that you could just leave it as it is - this is according to my taste).

At times the balance between vocal and piano is great - the vocal is the main focus and the piano accompanies it. At others, the piano builds a little too much for my taste and becomes dominant, I would prefer the vocal not to have to "fight" the piano. It's just a minor adjustment.

What that does do for you though, is build some peaks and troughs into the song. In an ideal world, it would be great to add some other instruments to do that instead (with a light touch). I can hear some plaintive electric guitar, maybe some brass, backing vocals and some drums (maybe strings), especially around the chorus. Unless you have the musicians and the facility, however, I would leave that well alone.

Next, and purely a taste thing for me, but some of the lyrics are a little indistinct ("never knew love could be" .. what? It starts with an "s" and is the last word in the song). Most people won't give a damn though. If you want any comment on the lyrics, post them. To be honest, though, they seem fine.

These are nit-picky quibbles. If I could record something that good I would be over the moon

You know, this may not be what you want to hear (or maybe it is) but I think you have a really good commercial sound there, too. I could see a boy band using this song very successfully (£££). That is not a criticism!

Nicely done!

[technominds]

Originally Posted by Freddy

It's an excellent piece of work!

Arguably, anything you may do with it now comes down to personal taste. It is well-recorded, and both piano and voice sound great. Where did you record it? I suspect you have put some hard work into your recording space

Anyway, if you want suggestions, there are some minor things I could mention (though I agree that you could just leave it as it is - this is according to my taste).

At times the balance between vocal and piano is great - the vocal is the main focus and the piano accompanies it. At others, the piano builds a little too much for my taste and becomes dominant, I would prefer the vocal not to have to "fight" the piano. It's just a minor adjustment.

What that does do for you though, is build some peaks and troughs into the song. In an ideal world, it would be great to add some other instruments to do that instead (with a light touch). I can hear some plaintive electric guitar, maybe some brass, backing vocals and some drums (maybe strings), especially around the chorus. Unless you have the musicians and the facility, however, I would leave that well alone.

Next, and purely a taste thing for me, but some of the lyrics are a little indistinct ("never knew love could be" .. what? It starts with an "s" and is the last word in the song). Most people won't give a damn though. If you want any comment on the lyrics, post them. To be honest, though, they seem fine.

These are nit-picky quibbles. If I could record something that good I would be over the moon

You know, this may not be what you want to hear (or maybe it is) but I think you have a really good commercial sound there, too. I could see a boy band using this song very successfully (£££). That is not a criticism!

Nicely done!

My recording space is nothing that special, im using a behringer B2 pro mic into a penta pre-amp, into my layla24 interface. Then the piano sound is just a plug-in.

As for the commercial sound, i never take this to offense. its the way i deliberately write music. I also write jazz, soul, funk, indie, rock and rnb. The intention of the song was to be a strictly pop ballad.

With the last word of the song, i totally agree and im thinking now i might change it. At the moment its 'deceased', but it isnt very audiable at all.

As for the production, this is only a demo version. I will probably do a full instrumentated version, using most of the instruments you mentioned. If that doesnt sound as i would like, i may keep it acoustic and maybe throw some light strings behind it.

Thanks again for the comments, and any critisisms are welcomed

[Jason P]

I agree with the previous posters. I like it a lot. Congratulations.

[technominds]

Originally Posted by Jason P

I agree with the previous posters. I like it a lot. Congratulations.

thank you