A newbie remix

[ItzCashew]

As you guys know im a newbie that made the thread how to build a flow. Well i've taken the advice and worked on it. And i made this newest song here check it out. Im still new to hip-hop but still doesnt mean i cant try.


http://www.myspace.com/itzcashew


Third Song down

Or Here

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/song...songID=3822668

[DesertEase]

Ight man I just listened to it and it's not that bad for a newbie findin his flow. Wut u need to consider though is that the sound of your voice is different. You don't pronounce words the same as other people do so keep that in mind, also try to keep your bars short and have a punchline, make sure your words are real clear, your voice needs to grab hold of the beat and take charge not just try to go along with the beat u know? i'm not dissin u man so don't think i am, i'm tryin to help u out a lil bit, and show a lil more energy on the mic u sound like ur not comfortable. try some of this out and post up some new shit i can't wait to hear it cuz

[ItzCashew]

Yeah man fo real. Thnxs for your advice. Been working at it you know, so i appreciate all criticsm. Ill keep at man all respect to you bro.

[DesertEase]

I listened to your curious joint and i think your presentation is not bad at all I think your only real problem is you are trying to cram too many words in your bars nd other bars are real short, so you gotta get it consistent to where the bars are pretty much the same in length and think of words u can say that could perhaps replace 2 words with one u know? try that out and hit us back

[ItzCashew]

Ohh yeah man. Like i said im still new to this so its all a learning process. Im working on some new songs right now and im taking in all criticsm to help build my confidences. So thnxs for all your help most appreciated.

[mentalattica]

Hey man, nothing wrong with being new. As long as you are willing to learn from your mistakes and keep learning you'll get to what ever level you want to be at. We're all still learning.

I checked out your song, as DesertEase said your cramming your bars. A better explanation would be to say your saying too much in too short of a period of time. Also, don't be afraid to punch in. It'll help if you say one word wrong or slightly off beat. Some people don't but I punch in damn near every time I run out of breath. People might argue that's a lazy way of doing things but if done tastefully and properly no one will know, just don't drag out that last word. But keep at it, I'm not knocking you either. You do pronounce words slightly different, use that to your advantage.

Keep it up!

[ItzCashew]

Yeah thnxs for your tips man. Yeah i punch in sometimes but i dont do it usually cuz my voice seems to be different in tone as the beginning. But you know im still learning.
Yeah inm also trying to get my voice just right with different songs. Before i used to be monotoned but now im less (or so i think), but yeah its all fun to learn new things. Thnxs for all the help guys. Hope to drop new songs in the near future.