some country lyrics..I need a third verse

[jimistone]

BEER THE OL' LADY AND T.V.


1st
Back when I was young and wild,
there weren't many trips to the Doc,
but now it seems my aches and pains,
cost about a thousand a pop,
The bills get most of my money,
my kids take all the change,
the doctor took my liquor and smoke away,
thank god a gave a good woman my name.

(chorus)
I used to party down all night,
and chase 'em until dawn,
but I spent over half my life,
hungover and all alone.
Well, I changed my wild and wooley ways,
my honey gives me all I need,
and my "wine, women, and song"
turned into "beer, the ol' lady, and T.V."

2nd
Nobody wants to listen,
to the old songs that I play,
that I learned so many years ago,
It still seems like yesterday.
My kind of music's out of style,
with this modern nightclub crowd,
but my baby still loves to hear me sing,
and my kids both clap real loud.

(chorus)
I used to party down all night,
and chase 'em until dawn,
but I spent over half my life,
hungover and all alone.
Well, I changed my wild and wooley ways,
my honey gives me all I need,
and my "wine, women, and song"
turned into "beer, the ol' lady, and T.V."

3rd ?

any ideas?

[djhead]

Originally Posted by jimistone

BEER THE OL' LADY AND T.V.


1st
Back when I was young and wild,
there weren't many trips to the Doc,
but now it seems my aches and pains,
cost about a thousand a pop,
The bills get most of my money,
my kids take all the change,
the doctor took my liquor and smoke away,
thank god a gave a good woman my name.

(chorus)
I used to party down all night,
and chase 'em until dawn,
but I spent over half my life,
hungover and all alone.
Well, I changed my wild and wooley ways,
my honey gives me all I need,
and my "wine, women, and song"
turned into "beer, the ol' lady, and T.V."

2nd
Nobody wants to listen,
to the old songs that I play,
that I learned so many years ago,
It still seems like yesterday.
My kind of music's out of style,
with this modern nightclub crowd,
but my baby still loves to hear me sing,
and my kids both clap real loud.

(chorus)
I used to party down all night,
and chase 'em until dawn,
but I spent over half my life,
hungover and all alone.
Well, I changed my wild and wooley ways,
my honey gives me all I need,
and my "wine, women, and song"
turned into "beer, the ol' lady, and T.V."

3rd ?

any ideas?

Someday I'm a hafta hang up,
this guitar that I play,
Roundabout the same time,
My kids start their wild days.
My Baby still loves to hear me sing,
But she can't when I'm in the ground,
The Guitar i played moved down a generation,
so my baby can still clap real loud.

[lbanks]

one day I might just buy a wig
and some purple spandex tights
and get on stage and shake mah booty
in those swirlin' Disco lights
and turn my amp up, real loud
and just rock out, all night long
but, more than likely, I'll just ditch the crowd
and finish up this here song

[apl]

One day they'll call me paw-paw
I'll bounce them on my knee
Try to keep the tears from showin'
While I play with my family
This beats all I could have had
When life was a big party
Sure am glad I didn't die in jail
Or slammin' my truck into a tree

EDIT: "As I bounce them on my knee" would be a better second line.

[djhead]

Originally Posted by apl

One day they'll call me paw-paw
I'll bounce them on my knee
Try to keep the tears from showin'
While I play with my family
This beats all I could have had
When life was a big party
Sure am glad I didn't die in jail
Or slammin' my truck into a tree

Oh hell if we're gonna be all queer about it

And Jesus is gonna hold my hand
When I teach them how to play
Because the scripture shows only how to love
Not to play a harmonic 8th
And they'll grow to be state champions
And republican middle class
Because I cast aside my fire for life
America will take it in the ass.....

hehehe just playin

[B-man_88]

Originally Posted by djhead

Someday I'm a hafta hang up,
this guitar that I play,
Roundabout the same time,
My kids start their wild days.
My Baby still loves to hear me sing,
But she can't when I'm in the ground,
The Guitar i played moved down a generation,
so my baby can still clap real loud.

DJ. That's good stuff there man. Jimistone, dig the lyrics. Describes myself as well. LOL

[mikeh]

So now I sit on my back porch, instead of in a bar
And keep singing all those old songs, just the way they are
I only have a fan or two and they all share my name
But it still feels good to pick and sing, it helps to heal the pain
Some day they'll prey this here guitar, from my cold stiff hands
Until that time, I play for joy that few can understand.

[apl]

Originally Posted by mikeh

So now I sit on my back porch, instead of in a bar
And keep singing all those old songs, just the way they are
I only have a fan or two and they all share my name
But it still feels good to pick and sing, it helps to heal the pain
Some day they'll prey this here guitar, from my cold stiff hands
Until that time, I play for joy that few can understand.

That's really good!

[B-man_88]

Ditto, agree with apl. Good lyrics man.

Ya got four verses now man.

[up-fiddler]

Originally Posted by mikeh

So now I sit on my back porch, instead of in a bar
And keep singing all those old songs, just the way they are
I only have a fan or two and they all share my name
But it still feels good to pick and sing, it helps to heal the pain
Some day they'll prey this here guitar, from my cold stiff hands
Until that time, I play for joy that few can understand.

Mikeh gets my vote! If only I had lost my truck, my dog, my wife, etc.... Just kidding Use his verse and call it a cowritten song. jmho

[mjr]

Originally Posted by up-fiddler

Mikeh gets my vote! If only I had lost my truck, my dog, my wife, etc.... Just kidding Use his verse and call it a cowritten song. jmho

Hey, you know what happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your house back, you get your wife back, your dog comes home, your truck starts...


I like Mikeh's idea also. Sounds like you've got yourself a complete song!

[jimistone]

Originally Posted by mikeh

So now I sit on my back porch, instead of in a bar
And keep singing all those old songs, just the way they are
I only have a fan or two and they all share my name
But it still feels good to pick and sing, it helps to heal the pain
Some day they'll prey this here guitar, from my cold stiff hands
Until that time, I play for joy that few can understand.

Good one mikeh!
I wouldn't be able to fit it all but....

"So now I sit on my back porch, instead of in a bar
And keep singing all those old songs, just the way they are
I only have a fan or two and they all share my name
But it still feels good to pick and sing, it helps to heal the pain"

would fit perfectly.


Thanks everyone....some good ideas there guys!

[mikeh]

Glad I could help.............now about that shared writing credit

Actually, I liked your story line. A well crafted song is something that the listener can relate to - and your story (trading the wild life for something more domestic) is something many (eventually most) can relate to - even if they don't play a guitar.

Because you started a good story I found it very easy to follow the theme with an ending that seems to flow well.

Keep writing - it looks like you have some good fundamental understanding of the craft!!

[guitarist_44]

This verse definitly has my vote.

[jimistone]

there is one line in the chorus I didn't like

"my honey gives me all I need"....flows well, but it is kind of a chezzy line.

I think "she's the only one for me" is much better:


I used to party down all night,
and chase 'em until dawn,
but I spent over half my life,
hungover and all alone.
Well, I changed my wild and wooley ways,
now she's the only one for me,
and my "wine, women, and song"
turned into "beer, the ol' lady, and T.V."

[mikeh]

I too thought the "honey" line was a little weak.

"She's the only one for me" is better.

Another option could be - Family gives me all I need

[jimistone]

Originally Posted by mikeh

I too thought the "honey" line was a little weak.

"She's the only one for me" is better.

Another option could be - Family gives me all I need

I considerd that already.

"she's the only one for me" works the best.

Another problem with the song is the beginning of the 1st verse.

"Back when I was wild and youg I didn't make many trips o the doc...
but now it seems my aches and pains cost about a thousand a pop."

I like the two lines, but, they don't really get the song off on the right foot...
They serve no purpose in telling the story.

I need to lose them I guess....but I can't really come up with anything any better.
Im going to work on it some more.

Thanks for your input mikeh.

[orson198305]

Now my leg aint as good as it used to be,
My eyes don't work and i have to push to pee,
But still i'll continue down my country road.
I'll continue down my country road
Road - (Repeat till fade)

[Jahn]

"THIRD VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST!"
Back when I was young and wild,
there weren't many trips to the Doc,
but now it seems my aches and pains,
cost about a thousand a pop,
The bills get most of my money,
my kids take all the change,
the doctor took my liquor and smoke away,
thank god a gave a good woman my name.