New lyrics: a story about an old man

[Cosmic]

Hi All,

The character in this one is an 82-year old distant relative of mine back home in Denmark. All the events are true to his life. I have known him since I was a kid (and that was a while back... ) and I wrote most of this one in the spring of 2005 when I stayed with him for a while.

Please have at it; I look forward to any input on this. I know my rhyming is still pretty elementary, but that's what comes out right now.

Thanks very much.

Best,
CC.


I CAN'T COMPLAIN

(V.1)
He's blind
In one eye.
The hearing's almost gone,
After 60 years
He lost his wife,
He tells jokes
From way back then
Then forgets and tells them again
And laughs at the stories of his life

(Chorus)
He's an old man, sitting in the sun
In a world that's going crazy,
He's just trying to go on.
His memories are his flowers
He tends to them alone
They're as fresh as the roses
That he places by her stone

(1 measure, then Coda to Chorus)
He knows his evening's coming,
He hasn't lived in vain,
He smiles to himself and softly says:
"I can't complain."

(V.2)
They had land,
Where they worked,
Raising crops and raising kids
Endless days of plowing in the heat,
The farm got sold,
An empty nest
They had earned their chance to rest
No more planting soybeans, corn or wheat


(Chorus)
He's an old man, sitting in the sun
In a world that's going crazy,
He's just trying to go on.
His memories are his flowers
He tends to them alone
They're as fresh as the roses
That he places by her stone

(Bridge)
One day she had to leave him
And not come back again,
He sits and waits to join her,
And sometimes wonders "when?"

(Chorus)
He's an old man, sitting in the sun
In a world that's going crazy,
He's just trying to go on.
His memories are his flowers
He tends to them alone
They're as fresh as the roses
That he places by her stone

(1 measure, then revised Coda to Chorus.)

He knows his evening's coming
He hasn't lived in vain
I sit and watch him, thinking to myself:
"I can't complain."

END.

@2006 C. Harding

[mikeh]

I've always been a fan of lyrics that tell a story and paint a picture. You do both. I found it easy to "picture" an old man and understand his "thoughts".

In particular I liked the way you used the "revised coda" for the phrase "I can't conplain". I percieve your intent to be - 1st coda the old main can't complain about his life as he reflects back and in coda 2 you (or - the story teller) can't complain about life when looking at the old man.

Charming story - clever coda.

[Cosmic]

mikeh,

Thanks for the read and the kind words. You got it about the ending. I came to me gradually that I was in fact looking at him and becoming increasingly aware of how problems and such in my life stacked up against his. I thought it added a little twist to the very end, in a good way.

Best,
C

[Folkie]

I really like this--I'd love to hear what it sounds like. This is not something you just dashed off and then posted, is it?--there's some real work and refinement in it, seems to me. Very well crafted.

I was reminded of "The Dutchman" by Michael Smith (made famous, imho, by Steve Goodman's version) and Jud Strunk's "Daisy A Day" (other great tunes about old guys, if you've never heard of them.) Any song that can make me want to break out other old recordings for another listen is a good song in my book.

Thanks for posting it!

[Cosmic]

Folkie,

Thanks for your kind comments; no, you're right, this one sat around a bit before it got finished.
I wrote most of it while I was visiting him in the spring of 2005, but it wasn't until this year that I found the finishing touches. I am toying with the idea of trying to sing it myself, but.. ..we'll see.
I have not heard the two songs you refer to, but I will try to find them.

I appreciate your input,

Best,
CC.

[up-fiddler]

The chorus is simply awesome. The song is good too. Give it music which lives up to the task and you have something you can be very proud of writing.

[Cosmic]

up-fiddler,

Thanks so much; you're right about music that lives up to lyrics, that's what I'm trying to figure out now.

Best,
CC