Revised Web Site... Feedback and Proofreading Appreciated

[XLR]

Just commercialized my web site (well, slightly )

http://www.timothylawler.com/

Until now my site had only been informational with music downloads but no commercial angle.

I've just added info on recording services and a CD sales page and I'd appreciate feedback on the site's message clarity... especially the CD page and its sales/mailing procedure.

Also, if you notice any typos or site glitches, please let me know. The more eyes proofreading, the better.

Thanks.

Tim

[Mindcore]

That is a LOT of information in there, I don't think I saw any misses though.

I am curious as to your selling procedure of your CD's, When I read, send me a check, when I get it, I send your CD ( to paraphrase ) I kinda went ughhh.

I know you lose a little, but maybe a paypal acount, so you get your money immediately, you can ship the cd immediatly, and both parties feel secure about it.

Otherwise, site looks great.

[Nakatira]

Great site Tim.

Some good info there

Bookmarked

[XLR]

Originally Posted by Mindcore

...selling procedure of your CD's... I know you lose a little, but maybe a paypal acount, so you get your money immediately, you can ship the cd immediatly, and both parties feel secure about it.

Good input Mindcore. I agree... a secure online transaction system like Paypal is the best way to go. I'll looking into it and will eventually switch over. I actually have some kind of a sales system available through my hosting service (Earthlink) also and I'm just starting to possibilities. The "send me a check, when I get it, I send your CD " system is how I've been doing it informally up until now, mainly for people who already know me, but it's not going to cut it. Thanks for your input.

Nakatira - thanks for checking it out.

Tim

[mshilarious]

If you check out Paypal, they have a very simple tool that you can use to add a button to your website--they give you all the necessary code, and you just have to cut & paste Then Paypal handles the transaction, and the user is returned to your website.

As for your site, I would add more space between paragraphs to make it more legible. Use color (tan, orange, something muted in that range) to highlight important text rather than underlines, people will confuse underlines for hyperlinks.

Move the CDs link higher up in the menu, next to "Listen", and add a direct link from the "Listen" page, that should enhance sales. I would change the name from "CDs" to "Purchase CD".

On the studio page, give the tips a different page. Again the use of color to emphasize text or titles would help. A good studio gear porn shot always helps

Drop Contact & Links to the bottom of the menu. Keep the stuff that makes you money at the top.

Don't forget to add a paragraph to the studio tips extolling the virtues of piezos!

[XLR]

Thanks much mshilarious. Very perceptive layout ideas. I'm working this week on revisions and I'll incorporate your suggestions.

Long live the piezo.

Wondering if anybody sees a problem with the reverse-font text (white text on black). I like the look of the black background myself, but since there's a lot of text there it may be an eye-strain issue. Compared to my previous website text, I increased the font sizes to compensate but I'm still thinking about it.

Tim

[Mindcore]

Good point, I did have a little eye strain reading through everything, I figured I was tired.

[XLR]

mshilarious, I've made the layout changes as suggested. Thanks again.

Tim

[grn]

Lawler, this is what a good site should be. It's simple, it loads fast, and it's easy to navigate. It may not be a crazy, new, hip design, but it's just right for your audience. Good job.

[mshilarious]

Originally Posted by Timothy Lawler

Wondering if anybody sees a problem with the reverse-font text (white text on black). I like the look of the black background myself, but since there's a lot of text there it may be an eye-strain issue. Compared to my previous website text, I increased the font sizes to compensate but I'm still thinking about it.
Tim

I like it, I use it myself.

Of course I started in the days of monochrome monitors

[XLR]

grn - thanks for checking it out and commenting.

mshilarious - monocrhome monitors... those were the good old days.

Tim

[Dogman]

Tim, went through your site, and didn't notice anything glaringly wrong in spelling or nuthin'....

The only glitch I see, and it is probably nothing to change is, with the black background, on my screen, the right side is white...very bright. Sort of took my eyes away from teh reading. I use 1280x1024 resolution. The white is probably better than having someone scroll across for everything if they use lower res. Other than that, looks good, and is simple for me.
Ed

[XLR]

Hey, thanks Ed. I guess that's one advantage of the regular black font/white background... any space added to the right by different monitor settings at least matches the background. Hadn't foreseen that. I'll have to do some testing.

Appreciate the feedback.

EDIT: Ed, just occurred to me to ask... how many inches wide is the white portion on the right side of your monitor?

Tim

[Dogman]

Originally Posted by Timothy Lawler

Hey, thanks Ed. I guess that's one advantage of the regular black font/white background... any space added to the right by different monitor settings at least matches the background. Hadn't foreseen that. I'll have to do some testing.

Appreciate the feedback.

EDIT: Ed, just occurred to me to ask... how many inches wide is the white portion on the right side of your monitor?

Tim

About 1 3/4". I went to it on my wifes computer....1024x768, and I had to scroll over a bit. Probably not worth worrying about as far as what mine sees.

[e unum pluribus]

wow your right up the road from me .. when i m home... ft lewis...

anyway i checked out your site ... looked awsome.... very simple yet professional suited very well to what i would think that a serious mature musician would have... i guess im trying to say that it matches the aura i get from the photos and bio...

do you perform a lot in the seattle area??

[XLR]

Originally Posted by Dogman

About 1 3/4". I went to it on my wifes computer....1024x768, and I had to scroll over a bit. Probably not worth worrying about as far as what mine sees.

Thanks for the follow up Ed.

e unum pluribus - thanks for the feedback. Fort Lewis, huh? Looks like you're about 40 miles from me. Actually I just moved pretty recently to the area from Connecticut. Quite a few of us HR members in the northwest.

Tim

[mjr]

Originally Posted by Timothy Lawler

Just commercialized my web site (well, slightly )

http://www.timothylawler.com/

Until now my site had only been informational with music downloads but no commercial angle.

I've just added info on recording services and a CD sales page and I'd appreciate feedback on the site's message clarity... especially the CD page and its sales/mailing procedure.

Also, if you notice any typos or site glitches, please let me know. The more eyes proofreading, the better.

Thanks.

Tim

My initial response:
Nice layout. Easy on the eyes. Appears to have good imagery.

Things I'd fix:
The vertical bar to the right of the main navigation could be confusing. It looks too much like a scrollbar. The pages should only scroll as far as necessary. The main page scrolls way too far down, and it scrolls horizontally.

When I maximize the site (I'm running at 1280 x 1024), there's an area of white space with white background to the far right. That's a simple enough fix.

[metalhead28]

I only really notice the same things that were already mentioned. I'd say it's a nice and simple site, probably exactly the kind of message that you want to convey. I, myself, am a sucker for graphics and nifty little add-ons like roll-over buttons and stuff like that. I could see this site being jazzed up quite a bit, but if you don't want it that way there's no need.

[XLR]

Originally Posted by mjr

My initial response:
Things I'd fix:
The vertical bar to the right of the main navigation could be confusing. It looks too much like a scrollbar. The pages should only scroll as far as necessary. The main page scrolls way too far down, and it scrolls horizontally.

When I maximize the site (I'm running at 1280 x 1024), there's an area of white space with white background to the far right. That's a simple enough fix.

Hey it DOES look like a scroll bar. I'll edit that - thanks for noticing it. Makes the page look like it's divided into frames. Thanks mjr.

metalhead28 said: I, myself, am a sucker for graphics and nifty little add-ons like roll-over buttons and stuff like that. I could see this site being jazzed up quite a bit

Appreciate the input metalhead.

The comments so far are making me think that even though I lean towards a simple layout I'd better upgrade my design software so I have more control. What I've been using is outdated and limited even for things like setting individual page lengths - an old version of MS Publisher. I was surprised it worked at all actually... used to use it for writing newsletters and noticed it had a "view as web page" function, heh-heh. I've got Frontpage and should start learning it.

Thanks for all the help.

Tim

[metalhead28]

By the way, I wouldn't rule out dividing the page into frames. You could keep the navigation bar constant on the left of the screen and you could scroll the info frame independantly.

That is how I designed my web page below, if you'd like to see what I mean.

www.themetallab.com

(Mine's not quite done yet, I'm still setting it up....sorry if this seems like a plug )

[XLR]

Thanks guys for all the help with this. I just registered with PayPal and have a "Buy Now" button on the CD page. Very easy to set up and much more professional. A couple layout edits still to go but I'm almost there. Sure is good to have all the extra eyes on call here!

Tim

[mjr]

Originally Posted by Timothy Lawler

Thanks guys for all the help with this. I just registered with PayPal and have a "Buy Now" button on the CD page. Very easy to set up and much more professional. A couple layout edits still to go but I'm almost there. Sure is good to have all the extra eyes on call here!

Tim

To assist you further with the development of your site, you may want to review the tutorials at http://www.w3schools.com. They have some good tutorials on there that may benefit you.

Believe me, to write HTML, especially if you're using a "static" site (not connected to a database or anything), you could easily get away with using Notepad, or any other text editor.

Good luck! I hope you sell a lot of CDs! :-)

[Agent47]

Hi Tim, you asked for some proof-reading. Here are my comments page by page.


About Me

' I also play on two CD's produced...' - Lose the apostrophe on 'CD's'. CD's what exactly? Remember, an apostrophe is possessive.


Listen

'of the Beatles classic with...' - Add an apostrophe after Beatles, as it is their classic so 'the Beatles' classic'.

'arranged for two guitar by' - Two guitars rather than two guitar?

'Gabriel Faure' - Maybe an accent over the 'e' in Faure, if you want to be accurately French.

General a little inconsistent with full-stops (periods) - some paragraphs have them, some don't. Choose to have or have not and stick with it.

Purchase CD

No noticeable errors.


Recording Studio

'highest quality mic's and preamps' - Again, ditch the apostrophe. Mic's what? Same again with 'pre's' and the other 'mic's' on the page.


Home Studio Tips

'much more effect on' - Use 'affect'. Something can have an affect on something else, while an effect is something like a plug-in, or a 'special effect', more like a noun.

'try two mic's' - Apostrophe...same again on last line.


My Teaching and Teaching Materials - no errors.


Links

'During the 90's' - No apostrophe after 90. It is the first part of the decade name that has been dropped, so you'd write '90s, with the apostrophe first, not between 0 and s.

Again, sort out full-stops - either use them consistently or not at all.


I hope that helps!

Thanks.

[XLR]

Wow! Excellent proofreading. Many thanks Agent47. I'll be doing some more editing for sure. Man, you're not letting me get away with anything.

You're obviously well schooled in writing... what do you think about the issue of "mic's and pre's" usage where the apostrophe represents the missing letters of the full word? (microphones = mic's and preamps = pre's) The issue was debated on the board sometime recently if I remember correctly.... but I don't remember the outcome other than lots of our usual arguing.

EDIT: Just made the changes. Still thinking about "mic's and pre's", heh-heh. Thanks again Agent47.

Tim

[BeatsBuY]

Nice and clean for a lot of information. Like everyone said, a PAY PAL account can really help you. You will get more buys for sure. Make your site work for you.

You might not want so much for people to purchase products, but it's great to know while you're sleeping that your site is working 24/7.

More photos would be nice also. Some photos that explain you right of the top.

Otherwise, good info...